Following on from my hatred of carbs i also realised i hate asthmatic worn out engines
Worst one i remember running was a ford 1600ohv in my old escort van that was so worn out it had a lump of wood hammered into the rocker cover box to keep the fumes from entering the cab,this worked for 2 miles until i thought i had been shot ,but it was the lump of wood that had come out and hit the bonnet.
I then tried a cardboard tube down the side of the engine to allow the engine to breath but this caught fire i was on the m4 at the time i seem to remember
anyway happy days-not
over to you
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My previous 405 had a failed heater control servo, so the heating was on all the time.
A flattened cereal packet in the cabin air filter box stopped the flow of warm air, and the sunroof provided cooler air on the move.
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H reg VW Beetle 1500s engine.
All was fine until you decided or had to use the heater.
Never did work out (all was stripped & cleaned and many times) how to stop the smell of the engine and oil fumes filling the vehicle.
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I had a H reg Ford escort (pre injection).
The car always had numerous electrical problems.
Various light bulbs blowing for no apparent reason (not a case of condensation).
Heater fan not working until I rewired it.
Passenger front head light cluster stopped working until I had to re-wire this as well.
Then had the big end start knocking at 66,000 miles.
I got rid of the car that point
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My fiest Fieata I bought in Jan 07. After a few days of ownership I noticed the street got more fogger when I started my engine. As my dad drove it I saw lots of puffs of blue smoke as he drove off and it had a horrible 'rattle' when cold.
Competly failed to start on me five times but in four times I managed to get it going myself, in the end I just sold it for £80,. The only way I got the thing to pass the MOT is to put lots of stop smoke in the oil.
Sold it to a trader for £80, he then sold it on to a new person after I assume it fluked and started, new owner scrapped it after two months.
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A mechanically clueless friend destroyed the (originally, very sweet) engine of his mk2 Cavalier 1.6 by driving it for (we estimate) about 1,500 miles while it was only running on three cylinders. He said it sounded "a bit strange", but just turned the stereo up and kept going.
I heard it outside work one night and immediately worked out it wasn't firing on four. The next day I brought a known good HT lead in (I kept such things at the time), and after 30 seconds worth of substitution, found the problem and fixed it. The car sounded much happier, and even he admitted it made a massive difference.
What we noticed only a few seconds later was the plume of blue smoke now emanating from the exhaust, and the distinct stench of burning oil. To cut a long story short, the unburned fuel going into cylinder no 3 over many many miles had (I suspect) caused very accelerated bore wear. No3 was well down on compression, and clearly had oil pouring past the ring.
It ran OK, and pulled OK, but needed an oil top up every couple of days. All for a £3 part that was left too long.
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The ignition switch onmy Morris Minor was so worn that the front passenger could take the key out of the switch and dangle the keys out the window whilst I was still driving - oh what a laugh my 'friends' were!
A couple of years back I was driving the 2CV down the A1 and it seemed a bit short on power and a bit rougher than usual. I pulled over and it turned out that one of the plug leads had vibrated off. A 2-cylinder engine is agricultural enough, without it being 50% down!
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My first car was a Triumph Herald back in the early 70's ... it used to smoke so badly that when I was stopped at the lights I could hardly see out the windscreen ... I'll never forget pulling into a petrol station and the young lady saying to me "what logs do you burn"!
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Remeniscence hour is over guys! Time to go back to your bedrooms and take your medication!
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cheeky young whipper snapper
im still toiling at work and dealing with idiots that read too many scrappage rules and think you can swap a p reg fiesta for a w reg corsa and i will pay them the difference
coconuts
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I was aged about 14 when the Old Man put Kraus Bond into the plugholes on a worn engine..
It was dragged of to the scrapyard the next day after a lot of cranking and plug cleaning.
I one had an internal `emission` problem with a 60`s Mini. Cured it by leading a length of pipe down the back of the engine onto the road. At times it could smoke or steam from both ends although the air in the cab (and the air filter) was clean - success...
Then there was was the Bond minicar with the 200cc Villiers two stoke engine. The chain used to jump off the worn sprockets - you had to get in with the engine literally to lever it on. It had had 15 owners and I was the last - but fun on three wheels aged 16yrs.
It`s big advantage was you could actually shove it for a couple of miles yourself when it broke down - walking alongside with a hand on the wheel.
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Then there was was the Bond minicar with the 200cc Villiers two stoke engine.>>
Do I remember correctly that you could reverse them by turning the steering wheel untill the front wheel / engine unit faced backwards?
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Other bubble cars with that engine had a 'dynastart' that you could spin backwards and another set of points.
Hilarious, changing up in reverse.
Frightening rear wheel steering.
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>> Then there was was the Bond minicar with the 200cc Villiers two stoke engine.>> Do I remember correctly that you could reverse them by turning the steering wheel untill the front wheel / engine unit faced backwards?
>>>>>>>thought that was just dodgem cars ON ;-)
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>>>>>>>thought that was just dodgem cars ON ;-)
>>
Have uou ever seen a 200cc Bond? Dogems are infinatly better built! :)
Edited by Old Navy on 01/05/2009 at 18:19
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Pubs don't open round here til 6pm comrade brummie
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"Do I remember correctly that you could reverse them by turning the steering wheel untill the front wheel / engine unit faced backwards?"
Until it faced horizontally Old Navy. It could then turn in its own length. Its party trick was to open the throttle on full lock and get it into second, then open it up again. It spun in a circle in its own length - enveloped in clouds of two stroke smoke.
The girls used to howl with laughter...
Evrything since has been boring in comparison.
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"H reg VW Beetle 1500s engine.
All was fine until you decided or had to use the heater."
Heat exchangers rotted thru...
Edited by steve_earwig on 01/05/2009 at 18:03
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I used to take a plug lead off a knocking engine on that cylinder to get it through the auction
Or put some gear oil in to stop it rapping,not too much mind and it had to go under the hammer fairly fast before the smell of that horrible ep90 became noticeable
Once emptyed a car of its water too prior to sticking it through as the h/g had gone
Have been known to knobble a main dealer car prior to going under the hammer too to get it cheaper
did i really say all them :-(
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I must have had one of your cars in the past. he he
I brought an Astra MkII from an auction and could not hear the engine while it was 'under the hammer'.
After I picked the car up I noticed it sounded like a diesel and wouldn't idle.
The oil pump had gone on it and the oil light had been disconnected.
I later changed the engine for one from the scrap yard only to find out this 'new' engine drank 5 litres of oil for every 300 miles.
I soon got rid of it.
Ah the good old days of being a strapped for cash student. he he
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Five pounds of sirloin in the differential;
Two hundred miles, a horrid reek of stew;
Hamburger heaven! Profits exponential!
In a nice layby on the A432...
(This is for bell boy)
Edited by Lud on 01/05/2009 at 23:58
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Hey, Oilrag...wot u like ?
I had one as well, a 59 Bond 250cc, I think it was an F type. Kickstart under the bonnet when battery flat. Used to carry a load of steel wool to stuff in the exhaust when it got too noisy. It gradually worked it's way back to the tailpipe and cut the power down ( power ?) Had a broom handle on board to poke it all back !. I used to run in summer with the fibreglass roof off. Hit the tramlines on the Golden MIle and the bonnet flew over our heads and landed in the road behind.
Had a 76 Range Rover for recovery work...engine breathing system never was very good. Used to park up on service areas for a cuppa, come back and find an oily version of Ullswater on the tarmac. Cured it by diverting the breather pipes into an old plastic oil can tied under the bonnet. Just put the oil back in the engine...an early example of recycling !
Ted
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Didn't porridge (porage) or somesuch be put into noisy rear axles to quieten them down just before cars were advertised for sale?
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"Hit the tramlines on the Golden MIle and the bonnet flew over our heads and landed in the road behind."
That happened to mine Ted! headwind and a hump backed bridge - It needed new bonnet hinges after that, but the alloy bonnet was fine.
Remember the fuel tank, actually in the cab with you? for others benefit - It was a cylindrical tank that ran horizontally across the car behind your feet. Mine had a reserve fuel lever that you could tap open with a foot.
When the reserve was gone, you could get another hundred yards of so by pulling the choke out.
Mine was a soft top and of course no heater. I can still remember a trip to Bridlington one bitterly cold Easter and almost perishing in the cab.
It could do around 60mph and that felt more than enough. Given that I was riding bikes then too and feeling safer doing around the ton on them.
Edited by oilrag on 02/05/2009 at 09:08
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"Didn't porridge (porage) or somesuch be put into noisy rear axles"
Sawdust ;-)
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"Didn't porridge (porage) or somesuch be put into noisy rear axles" Sawdust ;-)
Somesuch is an alternative spelling for sawdust.
;-)
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I had a Mini 850 which burned oil so a DAILY check was essential. One day I forgot to check and after 30miles, it slowed down so I accelerated. 1 minute later a conrod went through the block.
Oops. the replacement 1100cc engine leaked oil... but I always checked the level...:-)
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I had a couple of cars with engines that were too far past their best when I was at Uni! First was a Nissan Micra Colette that used to drink lots of oil fast - we went to NE Scotland and back from Middlesbrough in 3 days and went through 5 litres!! It eventually died when the points wouldnt stay still and it kept mis-firing and breaking down everywhere.
Next came my Metro GTa which was even worse - for some reason at tickover it revved at 2K rpm for no reason when warm and used to leave a blue smokescreen at the same time. I took the thermostat out to keep it on cold which helped - goodness knows what was wrong with it! It wouldnt do more than 100 miles without the oil light coming on and needing another litre though :-( Driving from Boro to Lincoln to see my parents meant a quick stop at Ferrybridge to re-fresh with oil as motorway speeds would get through a litre in less than 70 miles!
Eventually my then girlfriend and now wife ran it empty of oil on the A19 near Sunderland and it toddled off to the scrappy shortly afterwards!
The GTa was a lovely car and despite its appetite for oil, loved to be revved - just a shame it had worn itself out at just over 84,000 miles!
Edited by Webmaster on 03/05/2009 at 02:44
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My first car - a 34k mile 10-year-old 81V Allegro 1.1 - had valve stem oil seals that were so shot that for its final month the morning starting routine went thus:
1) Add around 1 pint of 20w50
2) Crank engine
3) remove spark plugs, wire brush, refit
4) Crank engine
5) remove spark plugs, wire brush, refit
6) Crank engine until it started, keep revs above 2000rpm, drive for first 1/2 mile leaving embarassingly thick cloud of white smoke behind
7) Drive as normal the rest of the way to work
The evening routine was much the same.
The first time my dad and I removed the cylinder head it took 2 hours and a pair of tyre levers to separate it from the block. The next 3 times it was taken off, decoked and refitted in 30 minutes flat. I owned the car for only 8 months but it has left me (mentally) scarred for life.
Also it failed to ascend a 1:12 hill one day, the reason for this was found to be an air filter element literally dripping with oil...
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Are you sure that Allagro had 34 and not 134k seems a bit bad to me. Having said that when my grandad used to go through a lot of BL cars he always kept a spare A series in the garage ready for one of my uncles to fit.
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Are you sure that Allaggro had 34 and not 134k
Yes, one middle-aged lady owner from new on the logbook! We bought it privately, she was only selling it because her daughter was emigrating and leaving a D reg Micra behind. Apparently she only used the Aggro to drive 5 miles to work every day...
It was completely original, never had a radio fitted and I don't think the back seats had ever been sat in! The fact that it spent half its life with the choke out could well have explained its rapid demise in my hands, that and the fact that I piled 14,000 miles on it in 8 months. ;-)
I go past her house a few times a year, the D reg Micra remained there until tinworm must have got the upper hand - its replacement is an 05 plate Micra that must have, ooh, 13k on it by now.
Edited by Dave_TD {P} on 03/05/2009 at 18:48
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