From your Backroom roving correspondent
This week I am been mostly drinking with Mark in Warwick. The hangover isn\'t my fault, it was some bloke called Gordon. Or a reaction to the tonic water.
Telford is....... interesting. Like Basingstoke but without the charm. Or Milton Keynes without the historical grandeur. It\'s just a mass of retail parks surrounded by dual carriageways, set out like huge roundabouts. Utterly lacking in any redeeming features.
Travelling is taking between 3:30 and 4:45 at present. Roll on the winter and the inevitable 6:00plus home trip.
If I think of anything interesting to add.... No, don\'t hold your breathe
:o)
No Dosh. Not David Brent at all.
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Some bloke ? There was a whole bloomin' gang of them.
Personally I reckon the tonic was off.
M.
p.s. did you try and count up how many drinks ? A word of advice - don't.
p.p.s. If any of you were drinking in Lloyds last night - we apologise for Alan's behaviour.
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Sanctimonious mode ON:-
1) Quote from another thread by Mark (RLBS)
"This place is [supposed to be] a motoring oriented forum"
2) I hope you were both sober when you got in your cars this morning
Sanctimonious mode OFF
Sounds like a good night out! But lay off the tonic next time and stick to beer!
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Some bloke ? There was a whole bloomin' gang of them. Personally I reckon the tonic was off. M. p.s. did you try and count up how many drinks ? A word of advice - don't.
Luckily I'm good at the four times table. It was double-doubles we moved onto after the beer?
p.p.s. If any of you were drinking in Lloyds last night - we apologise for Alan's behaviour.
I think the barmaid was pretty impressed with the tip, mind you.
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Nothing wrong with Warwick, but why Telford? Apart from the Wrekin it has nothing of note, except the connection back to the M6. Unless you know my bother in law, and his new(ish) wife.
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No Dosh, there's plenty of charm within a few miles of Basingstoke but if you know of any actually in Basingstoke let me know. I live there and it's eluded me so far.
You're commuting to Telford? Won't Mark let you sleep in the back of the Galaxy?
Kevin...
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Ok yes Telford *is* a hole. However round and about? never heard of Ironbridge? Severn valley railway?
And keep david under control Mark, dont want to step in piles of vomit next time I am drinking in Warwick.
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Cheer up Alan, it could have been Basildon.
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>>And keep david under control Mark
Um. Well. "David" amd I discussed this last night - I think it was just before we were trying to get the bouncer to tell us where there was a kebab van in Warwick at that time of night; I think the gist of the conversation was that there wasn't one, although since we'd already been in a thai restaurant I'm not quite sure why we decided we were hungry. Now this is a bit of an issue in our social lives, os if you do know of a kebab van in Warwick, we'd like to know about it.
Anyway, as a result of this conversation we agreed that he is no longer Alan or David, but in fact Eddie. Once he pointed this out to me I was dumbstruck that it hadn't occured to me before, but its true. Horribly, horribly true.
So over to you, Mr. Izzard.
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Is it me or are Kabab Vans an endangered species?
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Well I hope not, because that will really mess up my evenings.
As it happens there are 3 kebab vans and a kebab shop in Bicester. I guess Warwick must just not cater for the sophisticated pallet.
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Ahhh BISTER yes, The gastronomic centre of the universe.
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Just got back from Bicester (damn its cold out there) now munching a kebab.
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Not in telford their not, i doubt your ever more than 200 yards away from a kebab establishment.
I personally would recommend Kebab Ye.
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As an official Warwick (CV34) resident I can confirm that we have no Kebab Van. The after drinking feeding is mainly catered for by the masses of Curry Houses that we do have.
We also have no Night Clubs, perhaps you have to have a Night Club before you qualify for a Kebab Van.
P.S. Plenty of better places than Lloyds to drink, reply if you want some suggestions
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And keep david under control Mark,
I wasn\'t there. I had a prior engagement with a leaky washing machine.
Oh, you mean that Brent character.
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Hmmmmm. Good name for a thread ND :-)
--
Alyn Beattie
I'm sane, it's the rest of the world that's mad.
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Hmmmmm. Good name for a thread ND :-) -- Alyn Beattie
No idea where I got the inspiration.......
Great idea Alyn, sorry I din't offer the credit sooner :o)
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As a born and bred telfordian i feel i need to stick up for the place (someone's got to!)
We've got more historical grandeur than milton keynes - how about the Ironbridge and the birthplace of the industrial revolution?
Yes we have lots of roundabouts - at least we have a road system you can understand unlike milton keynes with it's V's and it's H's.
We have a nudist club - ask me nicely and i'll give you directions!
We have the uk's largest pub based beer festival at the crown inn.
RAF cosford is just down the road with it's great museum as is the severn valley railway.
oh and finally i was born and bred there!
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So far as I recall, Ironbridge has the distinction of not being in Telford:)
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oh it definately is!
The wrekin however isn't!
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Maybe the postal address is Telford, but isn't Ironbridge about 5 miles south of Telford? At least it was when i went to the museums etc.
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Blue,
Whilst MK ain't pretty it is easy to get around. V is vertical, H is horizontal and the city is set out on the American grid system, so once you get the hang of it its simple.
Sorry Telford is a dump...
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Ironbridge is 5 miles south of Telford Town Centre (the shopping centre) but it is still in Telford. Due to the way telford was formed from several smaller towns it is fairly well spread out.
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Aaaah: part of the New Town. You are indeed correct, Blue.
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Telford keeps advertising on midlands TV, I don't think they have anything to say about the place its just "come to Telford", sums the place up really.
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how about the Ironbridge and the birthplace of the industrial revolution?
Be still my beating heart......
Yes we have lots of roundabouts - at least we have a road system you can understand unlike milton keynes with it's V's and it's H's.
"Telford; the roads are a bit easier to understand than Milton Keynes" You may be able to sell that one to the local development agency?
We have a nudist club - ask me nicely and i'll give you directions!
I'm SO not going into this one!
We have the uk's largest pub based beer festival at the crown inn.
Now you have my attention. I still haven't been in, but you most definitely have my attention.
RAF cosford is just down the road with it's great museum as is the severn valley railway.
Just try the following. Go on Google and do a UK search for Telford on street parking and RAF Cosford gets a mention. As a location famed for "dogging". Trust me on this.
oh and finally i was born and bred there!
I thought they shipped the population in?
So fancy grabbing a pint next week?
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"So fancy grabbing a pint next week?"
Blue Haddock - don't do it !!!!!
Do you really want to be seen in a pub with a man with a goatee??? What would it do to your street cred???!!
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So blue haddock - can I charm you away from that pint with our mod and ask (as you sell Toyotas) - are the Automatic RAV4s any good? I can't get comforable in the CRV that SWMBO has passed on to me.
--
Espada III - well if you have a family and need a Lamborghini, what else do you drive?
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For what they are their not bad.
You can sometimes get a bit caught out if you want to boot it whilst it thinks about going into kickdown but apart from that their a good reliable well built car.
For the size of car the fuel economy is good (typically 30 to 35mpg) it evens handles fairly well and is pretty chuckable.
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Go on Google and do a UK search for Telford on street parking and RAF Cosford gets a mention. As a location famed for "dogging".
Unfortunately, I did. And I really really wish I hadn't.
'cos until now, I didn't know what "dogging" is.
Somehow that goatee takes on a whole new meaning ...
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Somehow that goatee takes on a whole new meaning ...
Not sure I understand the significance of my facial hair in this respect?
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And not sure that it would be appropriate to explain
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::points at email address::
mailto:alan_moderator@honestjohn.co.uk
No Dosh - Backroom Moderator
mailto:moderators@honestjohn.co.uk
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I hope that NW is not suggesting that one of the reasons that David Brent is such a figure of fun and ridicule is because of his highly amusing (and ridiculous) facial hair. And I hope that she is not suggesting ND, that you bear the slightest resemblance to David Brent.
As usual I find that I am in total disagreement with NW!!
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And thank god, there is no photo of me available (I hope)
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and heres me thinking cosford was only famous for it's air show!
Have a search on google under "telford windings" i'm sure you'll be interested in the results!
The only night i can do next week is tuesday as on wednesday i'm off to norway for a few days - actually now i come to think of it a few pints at a decent price will be welcome before venturing to the land of the six quid pint!
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So whats the motoring connection here then, Moderators?
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So whats the motoring connection here then, Moderators?
No Dosh is reporting in from Telford. The word "Ford" is in the title, so there's one motoring connection, and the 2nd connection being that he used his car to commute there ;o)
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DD, I hope you are not trying to imply that either of the two kebab-eaters drove themselves home after drinking all that tonic water ...
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drove themselves home after drinking all that tonic water ...
Drove!! They were only just about able to crawl on all fours to the hotel from what I gather. However, they did drive there before said event.
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You have no more idea than we do as to how we got back to the hotel. I can't remember so I thought Alan got us back there, but he maintains he doesn't remember either.
Given that neither of us had actually been drinking in Warwick before I cannot imagine how we didn't get lost.
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Mark,
When inebriated, an alternative navigation system kicks in.
It's inertially-based - i.e. you stagger on in roughly the same direction for a while before bouncing off something and adopting a new direction.
It can be scientifically modelled as a randon walk, which shows* that by 4:27 am you have actually been down every road in the locality. Eventually you find the hotel, therefore. And you don't recall the time spent, so it seems as if you went straight there.
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*but only if you fiddle the figures. Or get the scientist to demonstrate using a bottle of vodka.
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There's a whole load of truth to that. Trouble is, I doubt either of us would have recognised the hotel anyway. We were sat outside it and had to ring them for directions, and that was before booking in whilst stone cold sober!
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ND in a hotel? whatever happened to the tent?
--
Alyn Beattie
I'm sane, it's the rest of the world that's mad.
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Ah, the tent. Well I still have it. Most of it. Ok, bits of it.
Think we'll be buying a new one before the next steam fair.
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We stayed at the Travel Lodge in Telford a couple of months ago. BiL has a small house in Shrewsbury. Too small to put us all up, either that or he doesn't like us!
Mind you, I have been know to adopt the ND style Goatee, maybe ND.s behaviour preceeds him!
Never saw any undue behavior in the vacinity, I take it ND was not about that night :)
H
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Are the car parks at the shopping centre still free? Used to travel to Telford to shop, rather than do it in Hanley.
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Nope recently introduced parking fees for most car parks in telford - it has not gone down well with customers or traders.
and personally i'd use any excuse that i could to prevent me going to hanley!
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Oh dear.
I couldn't get a room at my first choice hotel so I am staying in the Telford Grot House this week. The gym is the size of a teenager's bedroom and has a similar smell. I'm always slightly suspicious of rusty machinery, particularly when it supports several tens of killos of weights, pulleys and assorted gubbins. Hmmmm.
So, continuing my "No more pies for No Dosh" theme I returned to my room for a bowl of muesli. The packet burst and I'm still picking oat flakes out of the keyboard and sniffing at the smell of raisins roasting in the back of the TV. Thankfully the milk opened without undue fuss.
Tomorrow I'm going to try and make it the 500 yards to the office without a cereal delivery truck mowing me down. Wish me luck.
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continuing my "No more pies for No Dosh" theme
It seems that some impostor has managed to hack No Dosh's password
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>> continuing my "No more pies for No Dosh" theme It seems that some impostor has managed to hack No Dosh's password
Oi! I remark that resent.
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