In 24 years of driving I've been pulled over four times, twice resulted in SP30'S- fair do's.
The other occasions were
1; driving down the M40 @ 23.00, 2 weeks before xmas, fortunately it was deserted, I spotted the cop car coming down the slip road and moved to the middle lane to ease their access. After a short while I got pulled up, for doing just 80mph, which she pointed out was above the speed limit- I thought, thank god I'd slowed down from the 90 mph I had been doing- no ticket
2 On a road leading towards my house one Sunday I had to mount the kerb to avoid the temporary bollards in place with ACCESS ONLY sign.
Got pulled up for mounting the pavement,which he pointed out that if there had been a pedestrian there I would have hit them!! - I'd have loved to have pointed out that if there had been a jumbo jet landing there also I wouldn't have mounted the pavement either, but refrained.
what plainly stupid statements have other BR'S been notified about
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Pulled over by the Arizona State Police in the mid 80's
"Drivers licence - Sir" (flicks out impatient hand)
RF leans hand out of chrysler le barron and hands over the tatty torn green strip of paper used in the 80's as a uk driving license.
Trooper holds license by its corner between thumb and forefinger as tho it carries a disgusting disease, as it flutters in the hot desert air.
"You'all call this a drivers license?"
"We do in the UK" says RF in a deeply sarcastic way
"Well here in the US we'all call this a speeding citation"....................."Sir" "50 dollars to you.......sir"
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Similarly, in Kig's Cross some years ago, put two front wheels on the pavement - no one within 50 yards - while doing a U-turn, to let a car pass behind me. When I had completed the turn was stopped by two plod, a man and a woman.
Rosa Kleb (for it was she) told me I had put two wheels on the pedestrian walkway, and this was illegal. I explained why. She replied: 'Suppose a kid had suddenly appeared on the pavement?'
I looked up and down the pavement while pondering my reply. There was no one there, no doorways nearby and anyway it wasn't a residential area.
Seeing the expression on my face, the male officer quickly shushed me and sent me on my way. Why is it that with plod, in these boy-girl teams, the gender roles seem always to be reversed?
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I was stopped by armed police in Jordan.
They spent a good 10 minutes studying my (old green) UK Licence before returning it.
I didnt point out that they had it upside down.
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None myself but dad was stopped by a plod for walking with his bicycle the wrong way up a one-way street.
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Mike Farrow
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Was stopped back in my young, stupid biking days 30 odd years ago for doing 35 in a 30 down a hill.
PC49 You didn't see me behind you, did you?
YSB (Young Stupid Biker) No, officer
PC49 You should use your mirrors more
YSB Yes, officer
PC49 Where have you come from?
YSB Southend, officer
PC49 You really should use your mirrors more, I've followed you all the way from the town centre.
YSB(sweating) Really, officer?
PC49 Yes, and you were doing 35 in the 30 limit coming down the hill off the railway bridge.
YSB(now not sweating) Sorry, officer, I'll try keep a closer eye on my speed in future.
PC49 Well, I'll give you a warning this time, and try to remember to use your mirrors more in future
YSB Thank you, officer, I will
PC49 gets in car and drives off
YSB thinks, Hmmm, now if he followed me all the five miles from the town centre why didn't he do me for the 50 in a 30, the 65 in the 40 and the wheelie I'd pulled along the seafront while overtaking a bus. Ahhh, perhaps policemen don't always tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth............
Told you I was young and stupid.
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"tatty torn green strip of paper used in the 80's as a uk driving license."
Sounds like the one that's in my wallet, it's a slightly later version and is pink and green, but very tatty - it's embarrasing when I go and hire a car and it almost falls to bits! The benefit of not moving house for years. My wife has only had her phopto version 7 years and she has has just sent it back as she has lost the paper that goes with it - no such problem in my case!
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"tatty torn green strip of paper used in the 80's as a uk driving license."
Still using mine - although I suspect it's days are numbered when/if the Roads bill gets steamrollered through.
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None myself but dad was stopped by a plod for walking with his bicycle the wrong way up a one-way street. -------------- Mike Farrow
Pedant mode on/
To be legal, Pater should have carried his bike!
Pedant mode off/
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Boxing Day 1979 and the company Polo DPR 350T is being given what for down the M62 from Huddersfield towards Brighouse. Mrs H has not adjusted from working nights and having a skinful on Christmas Day and is fast asleep. The speedo is reading 90+ and I'm intrigued to feel that we are still gaining speed. So intruiged that the Rover SD1 on my tail goes unnoticed until the siren squawks for an instant.
PC, Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?
Me, I'm afraid it was a good deal more than 70. [Apologetic smile]
PC, It was 94.4 mph, sir. Have you been drinking?
Me, Wow! I mean er, sorry. No, haven't had a drop.
PC, Really? It was Christmas Day yesterday.
Me, (Launches long, rambling explanation about wife working shifts and needing to get
to Harrogate because it's my Dad's birthday).
PC, (after a couple of attempts to interrupt) Take this as a warning. Stick to the speed limit in future.
Me, Yes, officer, I will.
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January 1975 and West Yorkshire Police are in the news as having a crackdown on badly lit vehicles.
So I've bodged the Austin Cambridge's combination front sidelights and indicators with silver paper and self-tappers until they work nearly all the time. Sure enough, I'm on my way though Halifax on a dark evening to do some more bodgeing; this time in machine code to a local brewery's payroll program, and I get pulled over for a full lights and tax disk check. Fortunately, the inspecting officers didn't open the bonnet and spot the hydraulic pipe to the back brakes that I had crimped with mole grips because the brake pipe had rusted through under the rear seat. Phew!
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1971 and I've just bought my second car, a Fiat 1500, for £250. It's such a vast amout of money that I'm having trouble sleeping some nights. The valve radio in my bedsit has gone pop long ago so, if insomnia struck, I used to sit in the car in the street and listen to the radio. One night I took it for a drive. So I'm cruising down Dewsbury Road in Leeds at 3:30am dressed in dressing gown and pyjamas when a Ford Escort Panda car pulls me over.
PC, Is this your car, sir? (blinds me with his torch)
Me, Yes, it will be when I finish paying for it.
PC, What's the registration?
Me, FWY 999C
PC, You seem to be dressed for bed rather than motoring. Can you explain, sir?
Me, Well ...
Hawkeye
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Stranger in a strange land
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Earlier this year I unfortunately gave a colleague a lift home to an area in Thornleigh New South Wales (australia) that I didn't know that well. On the way back the road was empty and the traffic lights were on my side. Between 08.30 to 09.30 and 14.30 to 1600 certain areas have school zones where they drop from 70km to 40km. It was an 15.57 and I wasn't aware of the school zone (which I really should have been taking more notice). A police man walked out into the road and signalled for me to pull into the side street. I had no idea why. He said he'd clocked me at between 71km adn 72km (no alarm on my behalf) until he told me I was doing 30km over the speed limit. Subsequently gave me a $575 fine (about a weeks wages) and the RTA wrote to me a month later banning me for 3 months. It has been my only driving offence ever. He was really rude aswell which made it even worse. It must be a world wide policy,police arrogance.
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"It must be a world wide policy, police arrogance"
Never received anything other than absolute courtesy, congeniality and even occasional outbursts of good humour.
My x-wife was driving me to Liverpool one Christmas eve after a skinful. I knew I wouldn't make the whole motorway journey so I stopped in Heald Green on that road that runs parallel to Manchester airport runway and peed through the chainlink fence. I had only just begun when a police van pulled over onto the grass verge and a young lady officer asked if I needed assistance.
I thought she was going to pull me (stop it TVM) but she allowed me to finish, wished me happy Christmas and sent me on my way. Dunno if urinating on a runway is actually an offence, probly something that would get you shot by an anti-terrorist squad in this day and age.
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I used to have a Yamaha RD125 (beautiful bike, till it got nicked) that had a habif blowing taillight bulbs. As a result I used to keep an eye on it and carry a screwdriver and a couple of spare bulbs under my seat.
One evening a mate riding with me indicated that the bulb had gone, so we pulled into the market place and by the time I had removed the lens and had the blown bulb in one hand and the new bulb in the other, a copper, I swear his name was Dixon, wandered over.
I kid you not, his exact word were "Good evening sonny, did you realise you have a bulb out?"
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A few years ago I was driving home from the office Christmas Party when a traffic cop flagged me down at a junction - sticks his head into car sniffing......
I ask why he has stopped me ( knowing full well that its Sussex Police annual blitz on drink driving)
Just a routine check sir he says , where have you been - Office Christmas Party I reply .
His face lights up - Have you had a drink today sir - Yes I reply truthfully -6 pints ....... As he reaches for his breathalyser I say to him - I don't normally drink that amount of Coca Cola but I don't drink alcohol when I am driving....and particularly not in Sussex at Christmas time.
Thank you sir - on your way.....
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6 pints of Coca Cola - my teeth are aching at the thought.
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Was stopped by Police at a road check in Brazil. Wife didn't have seatbelt on in back, oh dear 100 Reais fine. "i'll help you if you help me" he said. 50 Reais in his hand sorted the situation!
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Well, we won't even mention Nigeria where a standard opening by a policeman or soldier is the smiling question: 'What are you going to give me?'
The police in Prague, rather surprisingly, have a similar approach although their line is unsmiling and involves some obscure bye-law. They know you'd rather bung them a tenner on the spot, courteously described as a 'fine', than hang about for ages not understanding what's going on. A British, French or German number plate looks like an instant tenner to those toerags, a bit like Tom seeing Jerry as a pork chop complete with little paper ruffle....
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Stopped numerous times in Kenya - like Nigeria, this is (or at least was) a key revenue generating activity.
Once, on return from the newly opened Pizza takeaway, I got stopped for a driving license inspection, and the whole conversation focussed on "how good the pizza smelt", and "how hungry the policeman was". Sadly, this was at the end of my time in Kenya, and was bored by the conversation, so (and on reflection, potentially rather rudely) just agreed that it did smell good, and I was keen to get home and eat it, so if he could give me my driving license......
Was also done for speeding, in a hire car (for some reason, hire cars were limited to 50mph...). Was clearly doing more, and the officer with a speed gun new it. However, a discussion on how much he might take as a 'display of my sorrow' there and then, had me on my wah for KShs 200 (about £2)..
Seemed quite fun at the time, and invariably they were good humoured about the whole thing, but I don't miss the hassle.....
Jon
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>>50 Reais in his hand sorted the situation!
50 Reais !!! Did he ever see you coming. R$5 or R$10 would have done it.
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Not strictly pulled over, but 2 Xmases ago we were returning from a pre Xmas party, and were stopped at a police road block doing their drink driving checks.
Officer comes to driver's window, and wife opens it
"Good evening madam, have you been drinking this evening"
"No"
I lean across from passenger seat and - very cheerfully - call out "She never drinks that's why she's driving!"
Officer
"Where have you been all my life? I've been looking for a wife like you" and waves us on.
They do have a sense of humour
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