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Consultants? - Gary S
Heard on the news this morning that a govt. consultant has come up with a cunning plan to reduce road congestion. He reckons the govt. should be charging for every mile travelled and that improving/widening roads would be doing motorists no favours in the long run.
Theory probably has some merit but you gotta be suspious of these alleged experts as I'm sure these people will be in a position to absorb any extra costs as they drive past the plebs waiting for a mythical bus/train to turn up.
I know, don't smile while you drive and they won't think you're having any fun.
Re: Consultants? - Tomo
But the government does charge, exorbitantly, for every mile travelled, in fuel imposts.

We used to say at my old saltmine (HQ of a nationalised electricity board) that consultants were people paid vast sums by the Board, to tell them what we stupid people who attended every day knew already!
Re: Consultants? - Alwyn
I too worked for "der leccy Board" as my Scouse chums would say. We had an industrial lawyer in on one occasion; getting £1000 per day to state the obvious.
Re: Consultants? - Andy Hale
Your comments got me thinking about buses.
My 2 kids (20&24) don't drive. They rely on good old mum & dad and/or Harrogate District Transport.
Bus into village runs 2 or 3 times a day & takes an hour to go 8 miles into Harrogate (don't ask - there's a black hole in the countryside just outside Knaresborough where all sense of time and the will to live disappears).
The alternative is a bus that runs on the A61 a mile or so outside the village. It runs every 20mins during the day and takes 15 mins to get into Harrogate.
However (bear with me here) -
there are no bus shelters
no lay bys for the bus or dropping off/picking up car drivers to park out of the traffic flow
no lighting in the area for security
no parking area so you can reduce traffic into Harrogate by using it as a park and ride
bus drivers drop people off either by the biggest, muddiest piece of swamp they can find, or 200 yards from where you're parked, leaving offspring to negotiate swamp in pitch black with vehicles sweeping passed at 60 mph.
I believe that many more people in our village would use buses to get into Harrogate if only the facilities that surrounded the service were civilised.
Re: Consultants? - Alwyn

Andy,

Public transport here is often not used because yobs congregate at bus shelters.

Who wants to step of a bus into a bunch of low-forehead louts?

Love Bishop Monkton, BTW.
Re: Consultants? - Andy Hale
It's nothing that a cattle prod & bull whip wouldn't cure.
Thinking on about our low fore headed friends, I bet they use buses because they've been banned from driving and so they in turn stop more people using buses. Hmmmmm. Can't bring an answer to mind for that one.
By the way we're not talking Bishop Monkfish here, we're From Burton Leopard.
Re: Consultants? - Brian
Absolutely right, Tomo

With taxes at around 50p per litre, even in an economical car doing 45 mpg, or 10 miles per litre, you are paying 5p per mile in "tolls".

So why go to the expense and trouble of setting up a parallel system?

It is about time that the pumps showed the net price, plus tax, because the majority of the public don't realise (nor, apparently do the "Experts") what the price includes and how this relates to mileage.
Re: Consultants? - John S
Brian

I recall when I was lad watching my dad fill up the family Ford back in the late '50s that the pumps did show the price as '2/3d including 1/3d tax' or whatever it was. (That's shillings and pence for our younger viewers)

I seem to recall being surprised even then how much tax was included in the price.

regards

John
Fuel Prices - Flat in Fifth
John,

Probably like me yoiu can remember the days when someone who asked for a quids worth of petrol was thought to be a bit flash.

Stuart
Re: Fuel Prices - John S
Stuart

Right!

My first car was a Mini and a combination of a small tank and a 5 bob gallon meant it was rare to spend a quid filling it up!

regards

John
Re: Fuel Prices - Alwyn
FIF,

Do you remember when we used to tell the petrol pump girl to keep the change? Happy days.

Is there somewhere in the world that is going through the Sixties experience right now?
Petrol pump girls! - Flat in Fifth
Alwyn,

Now there does bring back memories..........

hope SWMBO's not surfing, before your time dearest.......... (just in case)

Stuart
Re: Fuel Prices - ian (cape town)
what?
Here in the land of sunshine, all petrol is price-controlled by govt. As a result, filling stations have to use SERVICE (remember that word?) to get customers to come back.
As a result, you just sit in comfort, while the tank is filled, the oil, water, screenwash and tyres checked, backscreen and windscreen and headlights washed ... all by a smiling attendant who normally earns himself a nice tip (I normally put in about R150, and he picks up a tenner.)

Bliss!
Re: Fuel Prices - Andy Hale
Sounds idyllic, but I worked for Esso 30 odd years ago and they tried to introduce that level of service in the UK.
The attendants got severely chapped and infected hands and the customers got shirty about attendants messing about with their cars.
So Esso went the other way, reduced costs and introduced self service.

My first car - Daisy - a 1938 Morris 8 Series II 4 seater tourer purchased in 1966. My first fill up - circa 4 gallons for 19/6d + vouchers for free wine glasses which we still have (the wine glasses I mean).
Re: Fuel Attendants - Flat in Fifth
Further to this fuel attendant thing, wasn't it that the attendants got cancer due to all the nasty vapour coming out of the petrol tanks and so now they leave the driver to inhale.

Maybe there is still a case for diesel attendants as the risk is distinctly less........

Its about time we had another petrol vs diesel rampage around the backroom.......

Lights blue touch paper, puts wooden spoon back on shelf, retires to safe distance...........
Oil Burners - ian (cape town)
I'd buy a diesel car if it weren't for the following ...
(1) The abovementioned attendants don't migrate to the single diesel pump - which is normally far away from the petrol pumps, and NOT under cover. Also, you have to wait while 15 Road Trains fill up their huge tanks before you get to the front of the queue.
(2) The quality of Diesel oil here is varied - I'd hate to b****r a good engine about by running it on poor quality fuel.
Re: Fuel Prices - THe Growler
If you can, do; if you can't, become a consultant.
Re: Consultants - A definition - Charles
A consultant is someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privelege.
Re: Consultants - A definition - Mark (Brazil)
"borrows" ?

Oh, no, we`ve moved on from there.

Our slogan these days is "If you`re not part of the solution, you can make an awful lot of money pointing out the problem"
Re: Consultants - A definition - JR
The older name for them was "experts" which aquired the definition;
Ex - as in - HAS BEEN
Spurt - as in - DRIP UNDER PRESSURE

I'm sure we can do the same for Consultants, come on back roomers...

Con - as in - WHAT THEY DO
Sultan(t) - as in - RICH AS A...

John R
Re: Consultants - A definition - John S
Steady on - I earn my money as a Consultant!

You need us because:

You haven't time to look at your watch

or, you've lost it and want someone to find it

or, you don't like the answer it's giving you

or, you want a second opinion

etc etc

If you don't like the results from a consultant then:

You asked the wrong question

or, you didn't understand the problem

Best of all you only employ them when you need them, and don't pay holday pay sick pay etc

I'll stop there!

Regards

John
Re: Consultants - A definition - JR
Opps... Sorry, no offence intended.

My head hurts... I think I need to see my Consultant.
Doh, I've probably upset him as well !!!

John R
Re: Consultants - A definition - THe Growler
Problem is this can go so far that management loses confidence in its own abilities and abdicates the job of managing. You've already got it in your Labour government.
Re: Consultants - A definition - The Real Bogush
Wasn't there an american co, one of the biggest in the country, and leaders in the field, that the chairman effectively handed over to the consultants, who bankrupted it (no, not just just from fees!;-)
Re: Consultants - A definition - John S
Just to shift the emphasis - wasn't that the accountants?
Re: "Insultants" - Another Definition - Ronnie Courtney
"If you can, do; if you can't, become a consultant"

Growler

And if you can't become a consultant, become a teacher at consultant school ....

Ronnie