I beg the moderators\' indulgence on this! I KNOW I\'ve posted similar stories many times before, but it just goes to show what we have to put up with...
This is a nightmare. I have been examining vehicles since 1990 and this is probably the worst I\'ve ever seen.\"
This is how vehicle examiner Kim Lee described a minibus taxi stopped between Verulam and Umdloti and subsequently suspended for being unroadworthy.
Lee, Assistant Director in the Motor Transport Services Division of the department of transport, said he had stopped counting once he had found 50 faults on the vehicle.
The 1982 Toyota Super 10 had been converted to carry 18 passengers and the driver. Among the faults found on the taxi were:
Three different sizes of tyres;
A bald spare tyre;
No working lights;
Broken engine mountings;
Defective handbrake cables;
An unsound chassis;
Defective steering mechanism
What was most disturbing was that the taxi, which had been impounded by members of the Public Transport Enforcement Unit on May 21, had been granted a Certificate of Fitness on April 1.
\"A cruel April Fool\'s joke indeed,\" said Lee.
There was also evidence of a defective clutch, shock absorbers and ball joints, leaking brake fluid and loose exhaust brackets.
Aside from the mechanical defects, the taxi also had various structural failures. Cracks repaired with body putty had reappeared.
Some of those threatened to separate the roof from the rest of the taxi. The doors were unable to shut tightly because rust had loosened their hinges. The rear hatch could not be opened and a missing window was covered with tape.
The driver\'s seat belt had no anchors and hung loosely from a hole in the floor. The windscreen wipers, which did not work, were held together with tape.
\"The whole thing is held together with body putty and duct tape.\"
\"It is literally about to fall apart and it was only a matter of time before someone died in it,\" said Lee.
He estimated the taxi had travelled about 500 000km, but that was impossible to confirm because the odometer had stopped working with the meter reading over 300 000km.
The driver, L P Mlaba, was charged with driving without the required route permit and is out on bail of R1 000. The owner of the test centre which issued the COF said he was investigating the matter.
The Mercury has both the names of the test centre and the owner but has been asked not to publish those until the investigation has been is finalised.
KwaZulu-Natal Transport, Safety and Security Minister Bheki Cele vowed to intensify the clampdown on unroadworthy vehicles.
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I think I\'ve been behind that van :)
Seriously, give me a nanny state any day.
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Ah! but did the test centre let them drive it away afterwards or did they insist on charging them £200 for the brake discs!
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No worries, Ian. Ship it to the Philippines, I could a good price here and it sounds like by local standards it\'s got another 10 years of life left in it.......
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£100 for the privilege. Sounds like the stories we get here in England.
Who was it (was it THe Growler? but I may be wrong) who said that there's nothing wrong with a car that cannot be solved by either:
1. WD40 to shift things that are stuck that shouldn't be; or
2. Duct tape to stick things that shift when they shouldn't.
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Ian, it's OK. I spoke to Bong-Bong at his garage down the road, gave him your description and he said give me a couple of days Boss and I'll fix it. Doesn't sound like a lot of work.
Lunacy from the colonies: please I'm not trying to out-lunacy you, but this is a gem. I am not making this up!
There is an ancient thing here called a Toyota Tamaraw (Tamaraw is a sort of water buffalo, so you get the idea). It's a sort of a pickup cum family conveyance. All of them are at least 20 years old and all are held together by rust. They are propelled by a primtive diesel and were sold in wide numbers before the Philippines became a bit more prosperous. Enough of that.
Down the street from me is a person who owns one. The right front wing and bumper have separated from the rest of the rustheap. The headlight has gone AWOL. I am one of two foreigners living in my street.
(Porriner in da Pilipins = $$$$$$, or that is the perception).
Anyway the owner of this heap of scrap turns up at my house with a bill claiming I damaged his Tamaraw and he wants the money. He has not reckoned with Growlette, who it seems, comes from the same province as he does and delivers him a blast of invective in his own dialect. We invite him to inspect my car which is spotless, then he claims well of course you've had it repaired since you hit mine. Growlette's province is well known for its witches and she threatens to light a black candle for him, so our friend backs down somewhat.
Of course this idiot's wreck is virtually undriveable and he's trying to get it fixed at my expense.
So I call Jo-Ann of Standard Insurance and she faxes me a list of about 10 items he needs to make an insurance claim. Foremost among these are a copy of driver's license, insurance and car registration. Pass this on to our friend. Nothing since, unsurprisingly. However he has severely lost face and this is a macho culture, so watch this space.
All the same I keep my Mace spray to hand and I don't go down that end of the street anymore. Growlette takes care of the licensed firearm -- she's a local so that's legal.
My sister says what are you doing there, come back and live in Lancing. I say what and get mugged by a bunch of soccer hooligans? Get away.
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Here's one for you. Ian (CPT) you may understand:
Good friend of mine lends Nissan Patrol to his stepson to attend wedding 240km out of town. He is of course a foreigner (stepson is Filipino) which explains this whole thing.
Drug laden loonie (crystal meth) on scooter crashes into back of said Patrol and kills himself. One less idiot in the gene pool and let's all drink to that.
Next thing my friend knows is police show up at his place (240km away remember) with relatives claiming for "necrological expenses" (Pilipino for funeral) and other large amounts. He says well I wasn't there and I wasn't driving it. Ah but sir, the vehicle is registered in your name so you are responsible. But this idiot ran into my vehicle from behind. Ah yes, sir but these are poor people, he was the wage earner and you are a wealthy foreigner.......ok, been there, had that......
My English friend is not known for his tolerance and has spent like me many years in Asia so wearily asks the question "ok ok how much to doctor the accident report and shut these people up"? (We also know a "cooperative" judge if needed).
Shock horror! Directness is not a Confucian characteristic. Sir we cannot consider, but please step inside and talk to our Captain........
Visit to cop shop. report duly amended upon discreet donation to unofficial police benefit fund (no receipt). Relatives vanish upon handout of lunch money and transportation expenses.
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....and you guys are worried about cops asking you questions at petrol stations LOL.
The weather's always warm, the beer is always cold and the women, well.....they'll get you into trouble for sure..... ;+)
And the pension money goes a long way.
...later
G.
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