Trying to force the lever into gear can cause damage to gearbox components such as the selector forks, synchro hubs and the dog teeth.
If you held the car on the clutch for a few minutes that would be enough to damage a clutch. The car's mileage doesn't really tell us anything. 20,000 stop-start miles wears the clutch far faster than 100,000 motorway miles which would leave the clutch in pristine condition.
An overheated clutch can start 'working again' when the faces cool down, but the wear and tear cannot be erased. I'm not casting aspersions on your driving, but if the mechanics say the clutch burned out through operator error, there's not much you can do to prove otherwise. Sorry.
P.S. Were they any signs that the clutch was poorly set up from the factory-ie did it judder at the bite point? This would change the situation.
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