Oh, that's easy.
Just buy shares in a plc where the chief exec gets booted out for false accounting... then sues the company for loss of earnings compensation... then the company 'reconstructs' leaving you with 10% of your previous holding... then the 'saviours' pay themselves huge bonuses... then the company dissolves itself.
You then face a lifetime of homicidal tendencies everytime you hear some oaf talking about greedy shareholders.
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Who am I? Where am I going? Will I be able to park when I get there?
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You could always put money into company pension schemes - nothing like having all of your eggs in one basket!
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Divorce? Strip you of cash and assets faster than any car will depreciate.
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Divorce? Strip you of cash and assets faster than any car will depreciate.
Today I thought that might have been a cheaper option.....
Leave other half in car and have her come in to the reception at the garage I was at, picking up her father's car after its MOT, to tell me she has just driven her Almera Auto into the wall.
Bumper, headlights pushed back, indicators, one wing at least, oh and the grillis loose. She was advised not to open the bonnet in case the front of the car fell out!
Apparently she stepped onto the accelerator rather than the brake. She hit the wall with a bang that the chap in reception heard, but I didn't. She was trying to park.
I think that loss equates to around £300 per second!
H
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There are children of course.
The model I chose 15 years ago has proved to be a nightmare. Like most models it costs more and more money as it gets older. I have to keep the damn thing for at least another 5 years. At the moment it refuses to start in the morning, its fuel consumption is prodigeous, and its a constant source of trouble.
It needs a new outer cover every 6 months and has no retained value and is depreciating daily.
I am sure a range rover bought brand new and changed every 5 years would have been less trouble and cost less.
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Did you put your arm round her, Hugo, and tell her not to worry, it's only money and at least she's not hurt?
Tell us!
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RF, TS, Thanks - made me laugh after a bad day at work!!
RF, I presume you call your child Renault as well? It's (he?, She?) a Renault 15 at the moment, you've still got to get through 16,17,18,19,20,21 and I suspect that even at 25 and 30 it will still be a money pit!
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Number Cruncher, think you're right on pensions, and Jeremy Clarkson (of all people) agrees even more :-
Jeremy Clarkson: Two fingers to the pension
Life used to be so easy. At the age of 65 you retired with a nice carriage clock and went home to spend your pension on potting plants and pipe tobacco. Then, 10 years later, you died.
Now things are very different. You retire at 63 and go home to spend your pension on kickboxing classes and cocaine. You have no plans to die at all.
This, as I?m sure you read last week, is having a dramatic effect on pensions. The country can afford to keep its senior citizens in old shag for 10 years but not coke for 30. Not when the number of retired people exceeds the number working.
As a result, the young people of today have been told to expect some harsh changes. They will have to save 30% of what they earn and hand over 70% to the government. They will be expected to work down the mines until the age of 127 and even then they will be expected to die, in poverty, in a puddle of vomit.
Stern-faced men are saying the country must find an extra £57 billion a year for pensions by 2050 if old people are to enjoy the same standard of living that they have today.
It all sounds very gloomy, but £57 billion is nothing. We learnt last week that the government has spent £30 billion on a computer system for the NHS. In the past few months I?ve watched Oxford council spend what must have been £57 billion inserting bollards to make life harder for motorists, then taking them away, then building them again.
Thanks to changes made by Margaret Thatcher in 1979 we?re going to fall short of the pensions bill by only 5%. In France they?ll miss it by 105%. In Germany it?ll be 110%. Then there?s the United States.
I read a book by Niall Ferguson while on holiday this year. It?s called Colossus, it?s about the American empire and it argues that already the gap between what America has and what it needs to keep its old people in burgers is $45 trillion.
Now I don?t know what a trillion is but I do know that $45 trillion is roughly 10 times more than the total combined wealth of Germany, France, Italy and Britain. It seems there are three ways this vast deficit can be covered: they can either increase taxes, immediately, by 69% or cut medicare benefits by more than a half, or stop all federal purchases for ever.
I haven?t seen either John Kerry or George W Bush suggest they?ll be doing any of these things. And that?s bad news because the situation is becoming more critical. If nothing has happened by 2008, taxes will have to go up by 74%.
No president, of course, will ever impose any such increase, which means that with the certainty of Titanic?s fate once it had hit the iceberg, America will go spectacularly bankrupt. It is, according to the author, an inescapable fact.
Long before that happens, however, the US will renege on all its foreign debt which will bankrupt the entire world, causing famine and maybe even some kind of holocaust. So you?ll look a bit of a Charlie if you?ve spent the previous 40 years squirrelling away £30 a week for your old age.
This is the fundamental problem with pensions. You are saving for a future you don?t yet know. You?re taking care of something that might never happen ? your old age. You could live a life of thrift and then, the day before your pension matures, you could be trampled to death by a horse. Or win £17m on the lottery. Or watch America go bust, taking the International Monetary Fund and your pension fund with it.
What?s more, how do you know that the people you entrust with your savings will look after them wisely? How do you know they won?t raid the fund, spend it on a boat and then jump off? Every night commercial television is littered with multi- million-pound advertisements for pension companies. That?s your money ? your nest egg ? they are spending, trying to attract more suckers so they can build a taller, shinier office block. From which they can plan more adverts.
The government?s no better. If ministers take our money, saying we can have it back when we?re old, how do we know they won?t give it all to Oxford council so it can knock over bollards to make way for new ones? Believing that the chancellor will have a special ring-fenced fund to be spent only on pensions is as silly as thinking your road tax is spent on the roads. It isn?t. It?s spent on new NHS computers and, of course, on the civil service, which I see now employs more people than live in the city of Sheffield.
Of course they?ll be fine. They are on the I?m All Right Jack Civil Service Pension Fund. But what about you? Well, I suggest you buy something stupid like a plasma television and sit in front of it with a big Twix and packet of killer fags.
Because do you want to end up poor in a bankrupt world full of civil servants? Thought not.
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Blimey Frostbite - that'll be why HMG recently wrote to Mrs V (who's of foreign origin but now a British Citizen) offering her the once in a lifetme opportunity to pay extra National Insurance contributions to make up for her 'lost' years and thereby guarantee her future financial wellbeing.
Me, well having read your post, I'm considering buying that Lexus :)
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Does this mean we can now post comments on any subject at all?
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To keep a motoring link, I have given up my Private Pension and am going to try and get some of it back and buy a new bike instead. What I was paying in gave a ridiculous return and it would have been taxed as well. I was one of those who would have been caught in that trap where the pension was carp and I would lose benifits because of it.
Now my problem is I can't decide between a Honda VFR or a Harley Sportster.
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To keep a motoring link,
Thank heaven someone is.
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Mr Shaw, I suspect a VFR is more your thing. If you buy a Harley go for the Softail at least. With 883 Sporty you will ned to spend out on Screamin' Eagle upgrades to make it go fast, with the 1200, which is very nice, you will be one of the ladies however.
Losing money? You should do quite well at trade-in time. HD resales, if you have the right model, do OK. Yes, definitely the Softail I think, with the 1450 Twin Cam 88 motor. Carbureted version, not the EFI. It's not much heavier than a 1200 but you'll look the duck's guts rolling up at the pub on it. Add another 1000 quid for the many things you will want when you see how other riders have customized theirs.....well spend the kids' inheritance, why not, and if others are to be believed, definitely get it out of the pension. Be prepared to fall in love with your bike like no other however.
I am so glad many years ago I decided never to trust and never have trusted anyone with my hard-earned and decided to do it all myself. Look at all the lies about endowments. While cleaning out the other day I unearthed a quote from 1983 from some suspect salesman for a product from a well-known company predicting 14% p.a. growth annually over 25 years plus a terminal bonus!
Got out of the rat race, burned all my suits and ties (oh yes I did too) at 55 and nice and comfy thanks very much. But look at these daft governments. Talk about joined up thinking not. Get more exercise, give up junk food, the nation's getting obese, live longer, but wait a minute, if you do you'll be on starvation rations. Why does anybody bother voting at all?
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"Civil Service Pension Fund."
Not a patch on MP's pensions - while the rest of us are worried about how we will survive and there are those poor sods who have lost all their pensions in the collapse of Equitable Life or various company schemes, MP's managed to vote themselves the best pension ever for the least work - paid for by us. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all decide what pension we wanted - then I could afford that nice sports car I've always wanted when I retire!!
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I know it's totally off-topic, but this has been a subject close to my heart recently, as my job has no pension provision (thank you voluntary sector) and I haven't yet found a way to spin straw into gold. So should I take out a private pension? Not likely. My brother moved to Spain last year and set up a business advising people from here about the Spanish property market - some of the pitfalls to avoid, areas to invest in, best places to buy within a specific budget, etc. He and I have bought two places together, which we have sublet (rent in year one almost pays for the mortgage, net cost of investment less than that of a good meal out every month). Then there's the equity increase - we've made 22k euro on the first apartment, from 78k to 100k in 12 months (valuation by the bank, not an estate agent). The second apartment is too recent an acquisition to say for sure, but so far the signs are that it will be even more positive than the first one in terms of equity increase. Rather than long-term lets, we're considering changing this one to a holiday apartment for families. In another year or so we will buy number three, then consider our options.
Waste what money I can spare on a pension? I took out a second mortgage instead.
(Um, cars ...) I'm thinking of spend some of next year's share on something nice, like a 1 year old Accord CTDi - yay!
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andymc
Vroom, vroom - mmm, doughnuts ...
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Well Mr. Frostbite..............Wish I'd written that. Well done and how so true. My poor Dad saved for years, worked for Plod for 30. Took the lower pension option yonks prior, to keep Mother if he went first. He didn't, she did so you guess the rest. He then got state, (in a state!) pension and promptly passed away within a year. Rowlocks, (not swearing, just thinking about rowing boats!!!) Night all.
Regards as ever
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"Well Mr. Frostbite..............Wish I'd written that."
So do I, but in case you missed it, it was written by none other than Jeremy Clarkson who has somewhat gone up in my estimation as a result.
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Who am I? Where am I going? Will I be able to park when I get there?
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"Well Mr. Frostbite..............Wish I'd written that." So do I, but in case you missed it, it was written by none other than Jeremy Clarkson who has somewhat gone up in my estimation as a result. : : Who am I? Where am I going? Will I be able to park when I get there?
Sorry, me toooooo slow after slogging all day, (on roof in rain.) To be fair I can't, (Couldn't) stand him, (Clarkson), but as you say, gone up in estim' perhaps. Will try to pay more attention in future.
VBR.......M.
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Thank god Renault went to names, I would hate to own a 35 or a 40
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Tom,
In a choice between the VFR and the Harley it depends on what you want the bike for. A Harley to polish, use in the two months of summer we have here and pose a bit; or a VFR to enjoy year round if you wish as the unbeaten sports/tourer that it is and has been for the last ten years. But there again I'm a VFR owner and a tadge biased!
Yer pays yer money, takes yer choices....
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Got your point, Rhino. But HD's are more robust than people credit them for and I am reaching the stage where I am now biking for different reasons than I used to. I have a more laid back approach now and enjoy the ride more than the speed, if you know what I mean. Went out today, done about 50 miles and overtook nothing!
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On the subject of losing money (and motoring too, I hasten to add), the issue of the cost of depreciation, especially in the early years of a car's life, has had a pretty thorough airing.
What about the issue of the costs of keeping a fully depreciated car on the road, what with repairs, MOT etc? Has anyone ever done a study into how much, on average, that costs - assuming one doesn't do the work oneself? Is it likely to work out more expensive (per annum) than, say depreciation in the early years of a car?
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Or, to put it another way, in the first few (say 3) years, the cost of motoring is basically ordinary expenses (OE) (tax, fuel, insurance servicing etc)which tend to be constant over the life of a car PLUS Heavy Depreciation (SD).
ie COST A = OE + SD
For the next 5 years or so
COST B = OE + MOT + LD (Light Depreciation)
After that, there is no depreciation, but increasing repair costs, ie
COST C = OE + MOT + IRC
How does costs A, B & C compare? (or is my model far too simplistic?)
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Teenage children and their clubs and constant handouts!
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\"Nothing less than 8 cylinders will do\"
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If you had to decide between spending (some/most of) the kids' inheritance on a £20k plus Audi or BMW or saving the money at around four per cent interest annually and then having to pay tax on an already meagre return, what would you do?
No wonder few bother saving these days - why bail out useless, self-serving politicians on good money and up to double their salary in often unwarranted expenses?
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What\'s for you won\'t pass you by
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the kids' inheritance
It was made abundantly clear to me from an early age that my inheritance was to consist exclusively of the physical form in which my mind had been placed, and the education imparted to that mind from that day on.
Seems to have kept me going, so far. Hence, that part of the little patentlys' inheritance that I have been able to get my hands on in cash is now sitting in the garage*.
*motoring link!
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Hence, that part of the little patentlys' inheritance that I have been >>able to get my hands on in cash is now sitting in the garage*.
And what is your excuse for it sitting in the garage? You should be out enjoying more track days!
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Teenage children and their clubs and constant handouts!
They don't have to have the handouts; parents can choose not to give them.
I managed perfectly well without them in my youth and, as a result, developed a sense of independence very early in life. A lot of today's youth have little sense of the value of anything and seem to think that an inheritance is something they have a right to. As a result, most don't bother to save at all.
I know this has nothing to do with motoring, but this thread seems to be open to comments on any subject.
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>>but this thread seems to be open to comments on any subject.
Given that you keep saying that, I assume that you've been told off at some point for being off topic ?
That aside, do lets try and keep to motoring please. I include myself in that comment.
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>>but this thread seems to be open to comments on any subject. Given that you keep saying that, I assume that you've been told off at some point for being off topic ? That aside, do lets try and keep to motoring please. I include myself in that comment.
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No, you would be wrong to assume that I have been censured but there is plenty of comment about keeping on topic, it is just that some threads seem to go completely off topic, like this one did.
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some threads seem to go completely off topic
Reminds me of the time I saw an armadillo. Talk about going off....
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You can lose lots more and far more quickly. Just buy a new RR or Bentley.. and sell it 2 weeks later for £50 k less.
Not necessarily...
The Bentley Continental GT has an 18month waiting list and is commanding premiums of up to £15k on the used market. So is the DB9.
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Or buy a Rover instead...(I'll get my coat)
or even how about buying Rover itself?
'ducks and waits for world war 3 to start!'
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