not really in a singing mood earlier this morning,
came out of house dressed in my best to go into town, only to find a large black stain under my car that ran into the gutter.
Dabbed stain, rubbed it 'tween finger and thumb...felt oily!, sniffed it..came to conclusion twas brake fluid!. went back in house, changed into "muckys", went back out to car, popped bonnet, checked m/cylinder... full of yellowy stuff, checked power steering... full of red stuff, oil and water o.k. decided to check underneath, so gets humongous tree stump out of shed, lugs it round house to car, jacks front of car up and plonks it on stump. Crawls underneath, checking every pipe, hose, boot, connector,etc but appeared fine, very dirty, but fine and dry!.
Crawled back out and started engine, in case it leaked whilst running,whilst i was waiting for it to warm up, neighbour comes out and says "that was only a sapling yesterday, this morning it's lifted your car up!.. must be something to do with sellafield....ho-ho-ho-". I pointed to the stain and told him i had a brake fluid leak, he bent down, rubbed it between finger and thumb, and confirmed that itwas brake fluid. i told him i had spent 20 mins underneath car, but couldn't find where it was coming from, he said " no you won't on that!! it's off our tranny, me and our lad were bleeding the brakes yesterday, and thats where he knocked the milk-bottle over"....D'oh
please mr mods, can i nominate him as the first entry in a "complete berks" thread, and can i be second!!
billy
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No. full marks for being observant and checking the car out before going anywhere. You only have 1 set of brakes, and you only have 1 life...
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And I agree with the other two. Well done Billy.
You can still nominate your neighbour though.
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Excellent story.
Hawkeye
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Stranger in a strange land
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report him to your local Environment Officer.
Apart from being a ************* he's breaking the law...
madf
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What you do for the next two weeks is to leave a nut or bolt underneath his tranny!
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"What you do for the next two weeks is to leave a nut or bolt underneath his tranny!"
Cruel. When I was in a jazz band, we used to leave a saxophone key felt pad on the floor - very unnerving for the sax player!
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"What you do for the next two weeks is to leave a nut or bolt underneath his tranny!"
That'll look normal. It might unnerve him if you sweep them up, though...
(Shame you can't still get those bullet-hole stickers they used to give away with petrol.)
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eventually got into town this dinnertime, came home to find missus had left me a deck-scrubber,bucket of soapy water, and a bottle of bleach by the front gate!!. so i goes in to protest my innocence of the offending mark, only to be told that as tea wouldn't be ready for 15mins, if i wanted it hot i'd better get it done sharpish!, she wasn't having that mess outside her front gate. to add insult to injury, the neighbours weren't in, (i was going to present the tools to him!), but a lady,who was passing with her shopping, told me that it was about time too! that the council had sent a sweeper out!!!.
like the idea of the nut left under the tranny though,just got to catch him first!!.
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Billy- I thought Mo had left town? ;-)
Seriously well done for erring on the side of caution!
I'm not sure if I would have been quite so thorough!
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"if i wanted it hot i'd better get it done sharpish!," Well were you quick enough ??
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I agree you should leave a nut under the transit (nut under the tranny builds an unfortunate image in my mind and it has nowt to do with motoring.) but may I suggest that you go one further by making it vaguely sump-plug shaped and accompany it with several litres of sump oil?
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That doesn't sound like moderation to me. :o)
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N.D!!
i've had enough of a problem with one stain in the road!! scrubbed half-heartedly for 10mins yesterday, and she lied!! tea wasn't ready for nearly an hour after that.
stain still there this morning, so i've just been out and given it a coating of orange-cleaner, whilst it's raining. suppose we can now call our street a "grove", that may cheer her up!!!
billy.
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Speaking of revenge... after a teacher at college dented my door with his door when he got out I took some of my own.
For the next three weeks I poured a little puddle of oil under his brand new car every morning when he wasn't around. From quiet enquiries, turns out he took it to about three garages, the dealer, rang up Ford to complain and ask for a replacement car, changed the oil twice and checked it every day before he drove off. He must've wondered why his oil level didn't drop at all...
Mwahahahahahah
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Washing powder applied with a stiff broom is remarkably effective at removing oily stains on driveways....
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RichardW
Is it illogical? It must be Citroen....
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Sand or kitty litter (unused) is good for soaking up oil/fluid spills. Sweep it up after a while and dispose of correctly...
John R
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www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?v=e&t=31...6
iT'S A DOG'S LIFE ...
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thats a relief ian, begining to think i was the only silly billy that has fallen Foul of this! won't get caught again, but will investigate stains a little more cautiously in future.
don't really fancy the kitty-litter suggestion, have you seen the amount of mogs around here! would be just asking for trouble, flocks of mogs all digging away, what a cat..astrophe!!!
billy.
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