Hi all. I felt that everyone could do with a great laugh and here is one.
THis morning, I started the car to warm it up before setting off. Although the car was in the drive, I thought I had better lock it and whilst the driver's door was opened, pushed the central locking. (Those of you who know Ford Central locking systems will perhaps understand) Anyway, realising this was a stupid thing to do as it was central locking, the locks automatically flipped back to unlocked as the door was open. Or so I thought....
As soon as I closed the driver's door, *clunk* Whoops. What the hell's happened here? ALL of the doors had locked with my keys in the ignition and the engine running! Before you all think...Spare key, I had been informed by Ford that to get a new master key and recode it would be the sum of £150. Needless to say, I laughed in the guy's face and left without the spare key but £150 in my wallet! ANyhow....I was knackered for want of a better word. After hastily ringing up Ford, I was told "Oh yeah - we get a lot of them. But I don't know how to do it. " So I rang up Green Flag but my car wasn't covered for Home Start. THe fee was £72. I had to pay it as the car had been running for 1 hour now with the heaters on. 1 hour later, a guy came out and it was impressive watching him use the tools of the trade to effectively break into my car. ANyway, he did it and I got my keys back. The car had been running for 2 hours on the drive, the heaters had been on. But I was happy if not £72 out of pocket.
Just thought you could do with a laugh.
Ha
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Red light? Hold on...that means.......Go?
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Ad,
Have to admit I started laughing after the second sentence because I knew what was coming!! I am ashamed to admit to the daft things like that I have done (and no doubt will again!)
But thanks for the laugh - I'm still chuckling!!!
(Reminds me of the hydraulic Citroen, the jack on soft ground, the pressure in the suspension released and the two front wheels off, and the hours of subsequent head scratching especially since my wifes car was blocked by the said Citroen!!)
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I'm glad it's brought such amusement. Since posting the original message, my mum has come home and she is not happy. However, I do have to find a petrol station rather urgently....
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Red light? Hold on...that means.......Go?
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well adski, didn't know whether to laugh or cry really.
so I laughed. :D
my sister had a Ford and it was actually a lottery when you activated the central locking whether it would lock, it went (locked! unlocked!) thunk! thunk! thunk! etc for about a minute and you had to stay there with it in case the last "thunk" was actually "unlocked"!
pat
PS you could get Green Flag out TWICE and still save money over another key! can't Mr Minit help? it's not as though Fords are particularly high tech (see above :) [slightly tongue in cheek] )
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I was only comforted by the fact that the guy said it was relatively difficult to get into. Moreso than a Focus he went to yesterday so I can feel a little better :-)
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Red light? Hold on...that means.......Go?
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Oh dear yes, I've only done that three times in the last 18 months! It is clever how they break in though!
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Next time - break the window. Voila - covered under glass cover on our insurance - £40. Not registered as a claim. Dont even have to speak to claims dept for lots of companies. just ring up approved glass supplier, show certificate and give the guy £40. All fixed. And no need to speak to a claims person to explain.
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Oh, just remembered that time on the A1 at 3 in the morning (many years ago)when I closed the drivers door with the lock button down, went to the cafe to find that the sign was on but the cafe closed, tried to open car door - oops keys inside! and after several minutes (ages actually) decided that a brick through the quarterlight was the solution. As brick went through window was aware of the black Wolseley which drew up alongside, (with the bell and the police sign on roof). Try explaining that it's your dad's car, you have no documents, no identification etc and you are smashing a window to get into a car. The back of the Wolseley was very comfortable and I did get a nice cup of tea at the police station. Dad was not pleased with the phone call at 3 am nor with the broken quarterlight. (I suppose the bell on Wolseley police car dates me somewhat doesn't it??? and the fact that the car was a Riley 4/68)
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Well - I wasn't as unlucky as that Phil but explaining to my mum £72 for a hook through a window was not a nice task. However, I suppose I can see the funny side. Sort of...
Thanks for your replies - that have almost made me feel better.....almost
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Red light? Hold on...that means.......Go?
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when you think about the point of locking car doors adski, it does make you wonder...
my sister left her Ford on the public road outside my big block of flats for two days. On the third day she and hubby started looking for the key. You know... all the pockets, well didn't you have it, no I thought it was you, might it be down the back of the settee etc...
er should we burp the baby, does pat have a marauding key-eating mouse, maybe a ten-foot boa constrictor swallowed it and escaped down the toilet...
as you do.
eventually they found the keys. In the Ford. Not on the back seat or on the floor...
but in...
the ignition.
No-one had been bothered to nick it.
And yes the final "thunk!" had been to Unlocked!
so what point?
pat
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Where is this block of flats of which you speak, Pat? Somewhere on Dartmoor?
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They dont make them like that any more , more,s the pity.
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On a photography work trip to Calgary a few years ago, went out at sunset to take a few wintry shots. Got out of the rental car with camera, leaving rest of kit on the front seat (approx £7,000 worth), shut the door, and heard the central locking clunk shut. Engine running, temp dropping below zero, semi-deserted road. Found a brick, and nearly knocked myself out when it bounced straight back off the window at my head. Eventually had to leave the car and hike half a mile down the road to the only house, where I nearly got eaten by their dogs, and was \'taken in\' by a rather odd - but very friendly - family. Then spent an hour trying to track down the rental company (all documents in car), paid the husband to drive me back into the city to get a spare key from rental office, then drove back out to find the car still running, lights on, undamaged, cameras untouched, three hours later. And the moral of the story? Just don\'t be so stupid!
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Considering how speedily the average scrote can unlock a car, I think we only lock them for the benefit of the insurance company.
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Adski
- it may be that the doors lock if the igniton is on and the engine is running. Try this next time while you are inside the car.
- congratulations on your honesty. You did the right thing in paying for the door to be opened. Is is not typical of a certain "profession" to suggest a trick on how to pass on the cost to the rest of the Insurance paying public? Perhaps that profession is similar to the mortgage broking business in its high ethics.
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I foolishly managed to lock the keys in the boot of my old AX - It's the only possible way of locking the keys in as you have to lock the doors with a key. Several calls to a lock smith and a rather sheepish me the following morning when the van turned up. SWMBO thought it was highly amusing.
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>>Perhaps that profession is similar to the mortgage brokingbusiness in its high ethics.
I like it! Oh, I like it!
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I take my dog with me everywhere. He's a cocker spaniel, and very lively. Returning home I always leave the engine running, with the car on the drive whilst I unlock the gates and then open the garage door. Charley has learned to blow the horn to get attention and, jumps about the car eager to get out and run around the garden. On this particular day he somehow managed to press the button on the Omega's driver's door to lock the car.
Of course the house key was in the car, and the neighbour with my spare key was not at home. Fortunately, it was only about a 20 minute wait for neighbour to return and then I had to hunt for the spare key. Forty minutes later everything was back to normal.
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I was going to tell you about the lady I knew locked herself out of her car.
next time your registration gets deleted as well as your comment. Mark.
The trouble is if a remark like that gets past the moderators I\'m a naughty Chinaman.
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Ok. Ok . - Many apologies Mark. No intention to offend and it won't happen again .
However in my defence , I saw that gag cracked by Jethro on prime time TV long before the watershed so I thought as the thread was entitled 'A good laugh' our readership would do just that.
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A way of stalling a car used to be to block up the exhaust. Don't know if this would cause any long term damage on modern vehicles, but at least you'd save on fuel whilst trying to break in!!
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I have a similar silly tale. Many years ago, in Capri driving era, I stopped about a mile from home to get something from the shops. Stopped outside, locked car, dropped keys down drainhole as I pulled them out. I had no spare key so I hiked a mile home, got a magnet and some string, hiked a mile back to the shops....
And there I sat, on the kerb, in full view of a street full of shoppers (and kids - it was school chucking out time) fishing down a drain hole...........................It worked after 15 mins up they came but boy did I feel stupid.......
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One of my son's workmates had his Audi A6 1.9T estate (less than 3 years old) lifted back from the west country to a specialist in London to investigate severe loss of power. A failure of the turbo was suspected. It was found that the driver had put 2 litres of oil into the engine every 5000 miles because he thought that it needed it. He had never looked at the dipstick.
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A few years ago I had a peugeot 205. I decided to wash my car at my parents house. As always I would put the key in the ignition and turn up the radio so I could listen to some tunes whilst washing my car. To my horror when rinsing the car the car suddenly locked!! Yes my keys were in the ignition and the spare was at home in Manchester. I called the RAC and as I was away from home they came out and rescued my keys.
I'll never forget what the guy wrote on the paperwork KLIC (keys locked in car) and to this day I never put my keys in the car/ignition when washing it.
GC
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A few years ago, this happened to a neighbour of a friend.
On a cold frosty morning started his car with a lot of choke.
Realising he had left something in the house he exited car only to find to had started to roll. He dived in the door intending to heave the handbrake on. Unfortunately his cuff caught the gear lever and selected reverse. Car seen exiting the drive with legs hanging out the side. Process ceased when it collided with either a car or wall across the way.
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"I saw that gag cracked by Jethro on prime time TV...."
You don't see much of Jethro on TV nowadays, prime time or not. Could there be a connection?
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I saw the comment before the mod got to it, and I didn't get the joke! :-(
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I hesitate to poke my head up over the parapet again but I'm glad that you were not corrupted by my deleted post pdc.
I submitted what I thought was an old hairy chestnut of a double entendre in a spirit of fun but it referred back to a previous post which was also deleted (in a humorous fashion) by the mods.
I have had my wrist slapped and accepted it.Its over, finished.
However I have to say I have been told much worse and what I consider more offensive jokes by a vicar of my acquaintance but thats another story ( which I will not be posting).
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Sorry Helicopter, I wrote that more abruptly than I intended, I was obviously having a bad hair day.
Try something along the lines of "very funny, but I'd appreciate if you didn't do it again".
Mark.
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Thanks for that Mark.
I laughed so much at your Dutch comment on deletion the first time, I was hoping to get you rushing down to the local chinese restaurant for a quick deletion in Mandarin.
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Back in the early 80's I was a student at Leeds Polytechnic and I used to commute into town in a Skoda S100L, when I was out on the binge one night I was driving past Spencer Place in Chapeltown, Leeds 7, when the car suddenly stopped. So me and my mate got out to push it down a side road, when all these strangely dressed women started hanging around and jeering at us, then this Afro Carribean guy walks up to us and threatens us for "upsetting his Girls" So my mate quipped that he would swap the car for a trick, and the guy just burst out laughing and wal;lked off.
One snowy night in the winter of 1982, we went for a drive to St Jameses Park in Leeds , I thought I would test the "cross country" ability of said Skoda and promptly drove it onto the frozen lake in the middle of the park........you can guess the rest.
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Amazingly the Skoda survived its near miss by a torpedo but what finally caused its demise was going over a bump too fast, the front of the car took off and when it landed there was a sickening crunch from the back end........the rear seat had lifted off its mounting and was somewhere near the roof,.............the offside rear suspension swinging arm had broken off the rusty floorpan , pierced the floor and come flying up into the cabin.
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