Ford are recalling all 2003 Mondeos due to an assmbly fault which results in a direct connection between the exhaust catalyser and the ashtray inside the car. Originally this new feature came about as a result of some clever thinking by the exhaust designers using backdraught and advanced eddy technology to clear the contents of the ashtray directly into the catalyser of Duratorq-engined cars. This little-known feature was heralded by Ford of Eurpoe boss Nick Scheele as a great way to remove tobacco ash odours from the car interior leading to stronger residuals in the used Mondeo market.
As a result of Belgian assembly workers failing to understand the complex assembly instructions of the ashtray-cleaning device's non-return valve, there is apparently a way through from the exhaust system to the interior of the car. Dustbins around Genk have been filling up with the components of the vital valve as exhausted factory-workers, unable to fit the device on the assembly line, pocket the unit and dispose of it on their way home from the factory. Allegedly, providing it is given enogh incentive, a domestic mouse can easily find a way from the exhaust pipe at the rear of the car to the ashtray in the centre console. Richard Parry-Jones, head of Ford's prestigious Premier Performance Division commented as he adjusted his prototype Aston-Martin badged air freshener, "It's a complete disaster, boyo. Fortunately, the Mondeo is nothing to do with me since I took over PPD, look you".
The fault was first discovered as Ford's new Mondeo advert hit the nation's television screens recently. According to the script, the stunt-mouse was supposed to end up in the engine compartment after running along the exhast pipe, squeezing through the catalyser, climing the exhaust down-pipe, finding a cylinder with both inlet and exhaust valves open, contorting his way into and out of the cylinder head, sprinting along the inlet manifold, chewing his way through the air filter and emerging to sit on the car's radiator. However, tired of the taste of air-filter paper, the mouse took the path of least resistance through the ill-fated ashtray-cleaning device to skip across the leather interior and recline on the steering wheel.
Ford are at pains to point out that everything possible is being done to resolve the problem.
Hawkeye
-----------------------------
Stranger in a strange land
|
You've put me in a good mood for the day there Hawkeye, Jackanory at its best!!
PP
|
Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction! Mice used to eat the rubber parts in my Xantia. They seemed to have a taste for LHM fluid. Didn't have erode my residuals!
Graeme
|
|
I bet it eroded theirs though ! A self levelling rodent- now that's a thought.
|
|
|
|
Very funny.
But just to be pedantic, Jerry pops out of the cup holder, not the ashtray.
Sorry.
|
|
Just phoned the garage to book mine in but the receptionist said someone must be pulling my leg...
|
|
|
|
|
A mouse wouldn't go any where near my V6 exhaust it's got 3 CATS in it
|
|
|
|
Brilliant, Hawkeye. I think the new Golf's feature whereby the heater switches to recirculate every time you use the windscreen washer (so you don't smell the additive) comes pretty close to a real-life example of this thinking.
|
|
|
