I would like to take you up on your offer. Unfortunately, I cannot pay, so here's how I'd like to go about things:

As surety, I'd like you to make up a false document saying I own a second home worth £1m. Then, with this as collatoral, I'd like to take out a loan of £1.02m of your counterfeit bank notes, to pay for said home, £10k for the false documentation, and £10k to be handed back to you as your profit. I will pay off the loan in installments, but only if you pay me £10k as a setup fee in advance, and I assure you that I will pay the rest off.

To demonstrate my honesty, I will give you my address - please use this for all correspondance, and please always put your name and return address on all correspondance in order that I can stay in contact in case of problems.

My Name (my internet handle isn't my real name BTW) and Address is:

Name: William Copper

Age: 65 (yes, I'm an OAP, so you can, if you like, refer to me as 'Old Bill')

Address: NS Yard, Victoria Embankment, London SW1A 2JL

:-)

I wish to complain about your undetectable bank notes. I used some to pay for a new car, and the garage said they couldn't see them. I couldn't see what I gave them so I'm not sure if they are having me on. It would appear that your notes are undetectable. Could you please send detectable ones as a replacement?