Periodically the Thai tax authorities publicly destroy illegally imported luxury cars and auction the rest off. The dodgy way round huge import taxes on expensive cars was to import them as ‘spare parts’, then reassemble them in Thailand. But the authorities have now got wind of this and banned the import of used spare car parts. Do not even dream of attempting anything remotely illegal in Thailand. You can sit in jail for 84 days before your case comes to trial. And the men's jails are not nice places.

Most vehicles retain a lot more value than they do in the UK. Locally assembled are the cheapest, starting at 400,000 baht for a base model Nissan March, Honda Brio or Mitsubishi Mirage. Pick-ups start at around 550,000 baht. High spec pick-ups are around 1,000,000. There are new model Ford Ranger, Mazda BT50, Chevrolet Colorado and Isuzu D-Max all built locally. Buying used, best to go for the Isuzu D-Max / Chevrolet Colorado from late 2007 when they got the chain cam I-TEQ engine. They have poor ride quality, but very amiable engines with nice 5-speed gearboxes. You'll get a year old 2WD king cab, one up from base spec with a/c, from about 400,000 baht.

There are a lot of used car sharks in Thailand using American sales and finance entrapment techniques. The more structured the dealer, the more you should avoid him. If there is a small local dealer in the town where you settle, buy from him and have some local comeback. Thai insurance is fine and covers the vehicle, not the driver. My family have claimed successfully.

Do not ever go anywhere near anyone connected with drugs in Thailand. The police are on commission to convict drug dealers and are experts at setting people up for ‘Srang Prap’ (‘Show Trials’ to make it look as if the police are doing something about drugs). It's seven years for 'possession with intent to distribute' just five grams of crystal meth, reduced to three years six months for a signed confession in court that saves the cost of a trial.