As you have ascertained, the 'problem' with DPF is greatly exagerated.
The DPF is essentially a trap that collects soot emitted from the engine. Periodically, the trap must be emptied by burning off the accumulated soot. Burning the soot off requires high exhaust gas temperatures. The harder you drive, the higher the exhaust gas temperature.
So high speed motorway driving in a high gear is the ideal operating environment. But the equipment can cope with most commonly encountered driving styles.
A common myth is that driving round in a low gear with high revs is helpful. In fact, It is coiunter productive because it pushes the exhaust emperatures down.
The engine can artificially raise the exhaust gas temperature-but only up to a point. At low power levels, the engine cannot raise the exhaust gas temperature sufficiently to burn off the soot. Unfortunately, this does waste fuel and some of the excess fuel tends to end up being washed down the cylinder bores where it contaminates the engine oil. In extreme cases the contamination is so bad that the engine can start to 'run away' on its own lubricating oil. But this is very rare.
For most people DPF is not something to worry too much about.
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