I suspect you do not have a leg to stand on. But, you could use the threat of reporting him to HMRC as a stick to prod him into acting in your favour. However, it is quite possible that he did not keep a record of the money you gave him and hence he genuinely thinks you are diddling him. If so, then you are stuck. You could try remembering as much as possible about the transactions, where they occurred, what you both said, and remind him. As regards giving you a lecture, yeah, I did something stupid recently. I bought a bath without first checking up on the shop. I might lose £400 as the owner is a crook.
I found several builders behaving as if I was their best mate. In one case the work was so bad I am taking legal action. In the other case I ignore the best mate business. Good honest builders do not play the best mate game, and if they do, then worry. I know that is no use to you now, but it really gets on my nerves when they try and best mate you as a means to doing sub standard work, or conning you out of money.
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