But they were all dogs! ba bum tsch!

A woman walked into a pub and asked the Landlord for a 'double entendre', and so he gave her one. or

What is the most dangerous insect in the world?

The hepatitis Bee.

Edited by Jog-on on 21/07/2011 at 17:34

What's the first sign of madness?

Suggs walking up the path.

I met a Dutch guy wearing inflatable shoes last week; we arranged to meet up this week but unfortunately he'd popped his clogs.

Four fonts walk into a bar - the barman says 'Get out! We don't want your type in here!'

A jump lead walks into a bar - barman says 'Alright I'll serve you, but don't start anything..!'

The police arrested two teenagers yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other for scoffing fireworks. One was charged, but the other was let off.

I'll be here all week!!

Monk to nun: "May I kiss you?"

Nun to monk: "All right this time, but don't get into the habit."

Jamie.

(sorry, but I wrote in support of one of his posts and felt compelled to compensate)

;-)

The day when Bill Gates invents the ability to punch someone via the internet will be added to the best inventions thread.

I've got one for the physics-minded among you:

A police officer pulls a speeding car over onto the hard shoulder of the Autobahn. He taps on the window and asks the occupant for his driving license.

"Dr Heisenberg, have you ANY idea how fast you were going?!!"

"No," replies Heisenberg. "But I know exactly where I am...!"

Ohh the physics jokes are soo good....

Oh, you want more..? Ok:

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"How much for the beer?" the neutron asks the bartender.

"For you?" replies the bartender,"no charge."