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Blimey, I thought I'd had a bad day.....
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Being a mild agrophobia sufferer myself, I do sympathise. It is not the fear of open spaces as many people believe, but caused by the insecurity of being away from familiar surroundings. I am always edgy on a long journey and only relax when I am on my way back home.
I also have a touch of OCD (checking the gas is off about 10 times before I leave the house for instance), probably the two conditions are related.
Edited by Robin Reliant on 15/02/2010 at 22:45
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BBD, you're a funny guy on here, but you're a loaded gun. You've got to do some pre-planning so you don't go through that again. Mrs BBD might appreciate that.
Buy a jerry can tomorrow and keep it in the car. So you don't run out of gas, that is.
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>You sound like you need medical help.
I think a Range Rover would be better, it'll drive straight over kerbs and Kangoos.
Kevin...
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Hope your feeling better chap, rough day.
I know a little of what your talking about re the petrol station thing. Due to things I wont go into here, I will only top-up my phone at one garage in town - my wife is pretty good about it though, she knows all the stuff behind it so shes pretty chille and puts it down to being eccentricity.
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Thanks for sharing that BBD, and I do sympathise so much.
It should also serve as a wake up call to us all who encounter other drivers doing 'odd' things on the road, which make us angry and frustrated.
It's not always done deliberately and with disregard.
There's sometimes things going on in that persons life we'll never know about, and it's not always pleasant for them.
Pat
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Hey where's BBD? It looks as though some nutter has hacked his account!
;-)
Seriously, a nightmare well recounted Dave.
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It takes a big man to write down and publicise that bad dave, you know you have a problem but you don't sweep it under the carpet like a lot of folk.
In 'coming out' you're on the road (motoring link) to being helped by professionals who work with OCD etc.
But then again - anyone can be 'normal' and the world is full of boring normal people.
My great friend ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUoWdP_ipOc used to say "you won't get anywhere in this life being 'normal'
(te, he) he was a Psychopath.
What I would suggest (if I may be so bold) is that you consider Cognitive Therapy my friend, the results of which can be quite astounding, do it for your good wife, your kids,
if not for yourself.
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My name is Wisia. I am a hot chick from Poland. I have a form of OCD that means I can only do things that are familiar to me. One is to enter the supermarket car park from a certain direction and park in a certain place. Yesterday I do this, but the snow, she block the rest of the road. I can not park anywhere else, so I leave my car in the same place. People can use the other road.
I come out to be shouted out and abused by a huge red face man ranting and raving. He swear at me. He call me names. He look like he want to punch me and it look like he hit my car. So I hit him in the privates with my loaded shopping trolley. What else could a girl with OCD do?
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I didn't think people would be so understanding, I expected to lambasted for acting like a thug, which believe me I am not. Many thanks.
I'm already worrying about what I'll do if I can't get to the station in 2 week's time, they're building a flyover so the construction work is extensive.
"My name is Wisia. I am a hot chick from Poland..." Wisia, I'd like to meet and apologise, perhaps I'll pop into Klub Sofia this evening and I'll tell you I'm sorry while you lap dance for me...?
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...'ll tell you I'm sorry while you lap dance for me...?....
Looks like BBD's getting back to his old self. :)
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I regret saying that actually, it's just mean and nasty to imply even in jest that pretty Polish girls must be lap dancers. She did say some vile things to my wife though and I'm still angry about it.
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>>She did say some vile things to my wife though<< What did you expect?
and I'm still angry about it.<< At her or at yourself?
I think you're getting a fairly easy ride here. If it was a BR newbie who posted this the reaction would be very different. What if in your extreme anxiety and/or red mist you had hit someone in your car?
I get a bit brassed off at some of the sniffy judge and jury posts on here sometimes and maybe that's how this is coming across but by being blunt to you I'm hoping to get you to do something about the underlying problems before it happens again.
Good luck
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Dave, you`re giving a great example of of how the human spirit (personality, intelligence and sheer grit) can live life daily in the challenge that OCD presents.
Many people have minor (very) symptoms - and it`s a term that`s often used without insight into the devastating impact that has to be fought against constantly by someone suffering more severe symtoms.
Dave is providing an education for anyone who has no personal experience of OCD - and although not said, by him (or implied by me) - it`s potential effect on every waking moment.
Let`s steer away from potentially insulting Dave`s intelligence by suggesting `treatment` - he will know the score on that matter.
It takes great courage and fortitude to live with this illness and even more to write about it and leave yourself `open` to comment.
All the best to you Dave
oilrag
(ex Team Leader in a Multidisciplinary Mental Heath Team)
Edited by oilrag on 16/02/2010 at 10:10
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Well done for your honesty Dave.
OCD sucks it's true. I've been afflicted at many points in my life. Most recently with parking spaces and door dings. I got so particular about what kind of parking space I would use that unless I knew there would likely be a kind of space I like at my destination, I would do anything to avoid going out at all, or insist on taking SWMBOs car.
The other side of this, if for some reason I arrived at my destination and all the "good" spaces were gone, then I would go into a panic attack, driving round the car park in an increasing frenzy, threatening to go home if I couldn't find a space I like.
And then when I was there in a space I liked, I would spend the entire time fretting about what I would find when coming back to the car...
It wasn't healthy at all, as you can imagine. Thankfully, I'm a little more reasonable now...
Anyone else fancy coming out of the closet? :)
Edited by TheOilBurner on 16/02/2010 at 10:56
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on top of this site's several attributes is its therapeutic value, too .. a fascinating, revealing and impressive thread this, BBD - I wish you all the best
EH
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I dont know that I would like to be oblidged to share road space with Big Bad Dave.
Why is he driving at all??allowed to drive?
This opinion based on this post , and from what I recall, an earlier post.
Genuinely preturbed.
M
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Hi,
I'll keep this very brief as this is a motoring forum,albeit with the connection the original poster makes.
Total respect to BBD for his story,I never thought I would ever see this discussed here of all places.
I personally have suffered with this problem,to a greater or lesser extent,for about thirty years.I can promise anybody who has never suffered these anxiety related problems,that they would have no idea how horrendous it is.
Anyway,back to motoring!...much more fun!?
Cheers.....Phil.
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Tough call, BBD - hope it helped to share.
Don't trust that blinking fuel computer!!
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I take it Big Bad Dave that you have made a full disclosure to your motor insurer, re your medical problems and the detrimental effect they have , per your own account, on your driving?
jat
M
Edited by dieseldogg on 16/02/2010 at 15:30
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And all this because... when you're on your own you HAVE to use your usual petrol station.
You need help, BBD. Shrink, antidepressants, whatever, but help.
How would you feel if it had been your wife who had been parked outside the supermarket, being abused by this stupid foreigner - who was irate only because he had been unable to use his usual petrol station.
Mental illness is cureable - or at least helpable - these days. You owe it to yourself, to your wife and to other road users to find that help. I hope you do find peace somewhere or somehow. But in the interim I think you should question whether you should be behind the wheel of a car.
Edited by Mapmaker on 16/02/2010 at 16:15
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"How would you feel if it had been your wife who had been parked outside the supermarket, being abused by this stupid foreigner - who was irate only because he had been unable to use his usual petrol station."
I was irate because she parked in the road and blocked it. Can't you read?
"But in the interim I think you should question whether you should be behind the wheel of a car."
Rich coming from you, who not five days ago blurted out this classic "I would - and probably shall - happily drink drive, paralytic, again. It's a matter of choosing ones time and place"
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Yep, people in glass houses.....
: )
I think that BBD is more than aware of his own demons, I am guessing that is why he wrote it.... and shouting at someone isn't as bad as driving paralytic is it? He didn't hit or hurt anyone, he thought about it and was honest enough to admit that, but he didn't do it.
I have lost my rag for much the same things, and I am not an OCD sufferer.
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If you don't mind me saying - and I'm sure this thought has occurred to you too - this incident was one step away from serious injury (or worse) for at least one party involved.
I would take this incident as a tap on the shoulder from providence - it was manageable
this time, but who knows what will happen if the 'perfect storm' of co-incident events has one final 'click on the ratchet' next time?
I'm not a doctor or even a cod-psychologist, but this must be addressable by some sort of therapeutic process. I think many people have borderline neuroses of some kind that don't often get the 'right' stimulus to turn them into something more damaging - I myself, get 'bees in my bonnet' about outwardly trivial events sometimes & often think/feel that I've been lucky when things haven't turned out worse (i.e. a silly road rage didn't escalate after I counted to 10, or whatever).
My mantra - although of the self-help variety - is to always imagine I'm back home some time later & able to think 'well, glad I didn't get involved there, it would have been pointless'. I go through that thought at the time of any stress - silly, but it works for me.
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>>"But in the interim I think you should question whether you should be behind the wheel of a car." Rich coming from you who not five days ago blurted out this classic "I would - and probably shall - happily drink drive paralytic again. It's a matter of choosing ones time and place"
It might be rich, but you didn't answer the question. Do you not think handing your license in for at least for the time being, might be the right thing to do?
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Rich coming from you who not five days ago blurted out this classic "I would - and probably shall - happily drink drive paralytic again. It's a matter of choosing ones time and place"
It certainly is. A private farm track is the place I choose.
>>Can't you read?
I am glad to see that your anger management skills are up to their usual standard. You need help before you do actually kill somebody - as you threatened above. I am jolly glad you are half a continent away.
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As thIs thread Is turnIng nasty and compassIon has gone out of the wIndow - I suggest I'ts locked.
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I looked at your original post, from "I got the red-mist" onwards, with some concern. The above re-inforces this concern. It doesn't seem to me as though this obvious inclination to physical violence is linked to OCD or agoraphobia. Take care of yourself and remember others. In the UK uou could be in serious trouble.
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I don't see any need to lock it. BBD is cool and has seen people being whatever they are being in the back room before. He has brains and guts and isn't a hooligan or dangerous.
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This thread lost (but gained) a large element of compassion at "If the guy had come at that point, I would have killed him and enjoyed it."
BBD shows great self awareness when he writes, "But people like me find it easier to lie and make convoluted excuses than admit we're a couple of marbles short."
Mental illness is horrid, I've spent quite enough time rather too close to it. Enough time to realise that a cure has to come from the person's wanting to be cured. You know you've got a problem; do something before you do kill somebody.
The BR would be a poorer place without BBD.
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