I just wondered what mad modifications people had come across over the years.
For me, it was almost 20 years ago when a neighbour of mine decided to buy a landrover. For the benefit of mankind, I'm going to call him "Dave".
The vehicle in question was a defender type thing, that looked like it had just been dragged off a farmyard kicking and screaming that very morning... "Dave" then set to with the 'cunning plan'. Over the next couple of weeks, he removed the weedy diesel engine, and neatly inserted a shiny Rover V8 in its place. Job done!
Of course, he *could* have carried on and upgraded, uprated or at least serviced other, less important parts of the vehicle. Examples might include items like the suspension, the brakes, the steering, and tyres. Perhaps "Dave" felt that the car was best enjoyed in its 'natural', 'raw' state. Perhaps "Dave" was an idiot?
Sure enough, after a few practise runs, the day came when he invited me for a ride in the passenger seat...
"Raw power" probably doesn't quite do justice to what had just been created. Yes - it had plenty of "go" - but there seemed to be so much play in the transmission that there was a detectable amount of time between hearing the revs rise and the power reaching the tarmac. I guess astronauts get that same feeling at T-1 seconds - you know what's about to happen and you're just sat there clunching your bottom cheeks waiting for it all to be over.
But aside from the "go" it also had very little in the way of "stop". What felt like all-round drum brakes had obviously seen better days - that was before the extra horsepower had been added in. Below 30 mph, the brakes seemed to do nothing but make noise - at one point I was wondering whether we should deploy a small sail to improve retardation.
Ride and handling were also compromised. A good sports car feels 'connected' to the road - you can just feel every bump in the road through the steering wheel and the seat as you fight for grip in the corners.
"Dave" had somewhat uniquely managed to sever the all important link between driver and road, and in this case sandwiched an inflatable bouncy castle in its place.
The car wasn't so much riding on wheels as on rountree's fruit jelly. Turn the wheel to the left with the right foot anywhere near the loud pedal, and the landrover would (after all the play in the steering rack had been taken up) reward the driver with what felt like up to 45 degrees of body roll to the right. If the power and the steering had some relationship with the controls in the cabin, the shift between "no steer" and "wildly optimistic oversteer" would have been at least predictable. As it was, the only true indication that something was terribly wrong was best observed by keeping a very close eye on nearby objects outside.
Sadly, after remembering to tell his insurance company what he'd done, "Dave" was finally forced by his wife to sell the vehicle on. He continued to tinker with other cars, but never produced anything so grand, or stupid as his landrover V8.
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You need to have a look at barryboys.co.uk
The most comprehensive collection of 'modified' cars known to humanity.
Lots of swearing and derogatory comments so not made clickable.
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'Dave ' could have easily found himself in the same position as that guy who killed his kids in the Fens with his heavily modded Landy which wouldn't stay on the road.
If you havn't got a clue...leave it alone !
Ted
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I don't like the OP. It sounds invented to me.
Anyway the handling described sounds just like an exaggerated description of driving a rough old Land Rover. Doesn't even sound frightening, just exaggerated.
But anyway, I don't believe Dave or this Land Rover ever existed.
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I haven't 'seen' this, other than on the screen. It is both costly and ghastly!
barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=30994
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"Dave" existed all right, as did his landrover!! As I say, it was a nuts invention - and he did admit to it being "a bit bouncy" - but loved it all the same.
The problem, as I say, was that he took a really crap example of a landrover to begin with. It would never have passed an MoT in its condition prior to the mod - in fact knowing Dave it probably never had an MoT to begin with.
The mod turned a 'dangerous' vehicle into a downright stupid one. Non-existant brakes, steering with ridiculous play, leaf sprung suspension and transmission shunt from lawd-knows what was left of the prop-shafts.
Getting out of that car - you didn't feel car sick, you felt sea sick!!
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The worst I've seen is this, which was widely reported in the media. One of the modifications was different diameter brake caliper pistons on one side of the vehicle from the other. tinyurl.com/yglehh6
For more information google for "Yellow 110", which the amateurishly-modified vehicle had been named by the owner.
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i believe the story in fact ive probably had a go in it
i have seen over the years calipers held on with nails
pads put in the wrong way
wheels so rusty they were about to explode
rags in fuel lines
steering wheel ujs about to break
subframes held in place with wood
a rear axle held in place with washing line
no top plates holding mcpherson struts in
and thats just by scanning a small section of my memories
Im not even going to mention the time where i spent weeks welding an old car up internally by cross bracing it from front to back shocker tops to shocker tops i braced the sills inside and outside and it was tough as old boots.
I did it to make it into a softop and nearly killed myself when i lit the breather pipe for the fuel tank,fortunately the heat melted it shut after its wick burnt like a candle and so i didnt get blown up.
Any way the day came and i carefully chopped the roof off at the best places leaving the whole screen A pillars in complete with screen uncracked, (the fire brigade rescue team would have been proud) i got a friend to help me off with the roof as i also caught fire when the 7inch cutting blade set my overalls on fire and also nearly cut my hands off when the blade stuck in the back c pillars.
So all done and i opened the door to drive my baby out,unfortunately the door wouldnt shut because the car had sagged :-#(
i scrapped it saddened and never to return to heavily modded cars
....................respect to places like fiorino is all i can say......................
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There used to be an early Range Rover around our way with a bizarre modification.
Someone had fiited it with the 6-cylinder version of the Ford York diesel engine from a Ford A series truck. Because the in-line 6 was longer than the Range Rover's original V8, there was no room for a radiator under the bonnet. The simple solution was to fit a large truck radiator on the front of the Range Rover, out in the open, mounted on a rusty angle-iron frame. Or was it Dexion? - I can't remember!
Other than this grotesque disfigurement, the Range Rover was bog standard looking, with the original wheels etc.
Edited by Sofa Spud on 29/11/2009 at 12:46
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But the worst mod ever has to be this.
Foggy, Cleggy and Compo off Top Gear did this to a TVR Cerbera!!
www.ubergizmo.com/15/archives/2009/11/build_your_o...l
Edited by Sofa Spud on 29/11/2009 at 12:51
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QUOTE:..."If you havn't got a clue...leave it alone !""
I had a car back from a garage once that hadn't been checked properly after some work, leading to a dangerous failure a few days later that could easily have resulted in a fatal accident.
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Can I vote for all of them?
Lost count of the TV shows I have seen where some chav rolls up in a blinged Renault Clio (or whatever) and explains to a gorgeous blond female presenter that its cost him £30,000 to turn a pretty average small car in to a pimps wet dream.
What she always does is simper and says cor! but what I really really want her to say is 'for that money you could have bought a decent car'.
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I bought an A35 for daughter knowing it needed attention. Working through the welding, I found the front shackles of the rear springs were fitted into home made brackets. Fashioned out of 22 gauge steel and fixed to the floorpan with self tappers......nice !
Ted
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But the worst mod ever has to be this. Foggy Cleggy and Compo off Top Gear did this to a TVR Cerbera!! www.ubergizmo.com/15/archives/2009/11/build_your_o...l
It was a Chimaera I think (and they only really used the chassis). The only reason I'm sure about this was my incredulity when Hamster stated he'd bought the crash damaged Chim for £5k, when you can get a minter for not much more.
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When the factory added a boot to the Mini, and called it a Wosley/Riley.
Sumpnut
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>>When the factory added a boot to the Mini, and called it a Wosley/Riley.
Do you mind! I had one of those, a Wolseley Hornet, maroon with grey roof. At least a bit of extra boot space was useful.
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Yes, extra boot space would have been useful to carry all those rubber gloves used too waterproof the distributor.
But beauty is in the eye................
Sumpnut
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i used to baulk at the gearbox
or did the gearbox baulk at me
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A rich but scruffy Derbyshire hill farming colleague did the York engine transplant. Fitted in fine but IIRC needed some machining to fit some glow plugs . Necessary when you live at 1600'. Stolen shortly afterwards . Being canny he got a decent insurance payout.
Worst modification I have personally seen? When some local youths fitted enormous flared wheel arches on to an HA Viva with pop rivets and Isopon. Fitted so low you could barely see the wheels. A straight to scrap yard job from the lock up.
Edited by Glaikit Wee Scunner {P} on 30/11/2009 at 09:35
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Around 1988 I once saw a old rear wheel drive large engined Japanese? sports car with a leaking front camshaft seal.
The camshaft oil seal was right facing you upon opening the bonnet and a sort of `cup` of epoxy had been formed around the cambox end in the hope that at least some of the massive oil leakage would seep back in while standing.
I can`t remember it`s make, but it was a real muscle car with a massive engine and doors that were almost all fibreglass - with very little metal remaining. But, very well crafted, the doors looked like new. My friend had picked it up for next to nothing and was briefly enjoying `real performance`.
As for oil consumption - it was almost as bad as it`s petrol consumption.
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I don't think this was a bad mod. just unusual.
Ladas used to have a tensioner on one side of the cam chain and a rubber faced guide on the other. The chain destroyed the guide.
You could dislodge the remains and they fell safely into the sump. a new guide could be teased in and bolted up. Easy.
The trouble was , the chain used to thash araound and eat it's way through the cylinder head, if ignored, leaving a hole.
We used to clean the area with thinners, let it dry and then fill the hole with body filler, nice and smooth. A coat of silver paint perfectly matched the alloy of the head.
That mod saved loads of customers a large wedge of money and many Ladas went to the grave with this repair still intact and leakproof.
Ted
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