tinyurl.com/nwlstc
I came across this article today and, somewhat embarrassed, started to list the utterly useless accessories my friends and I fitted to cars years ago before we knew any better. The list is as long as it is embarrassing... The clip on notepad with a carpy pen attached post-office style by a coiled lead - with its own built in reading light. (Never wrote anything down on it, least of all at night: never had any urgent phone messages as it was 20 years before I even got a phone in the car!) Those colour-keyed plastic gaiter things to adorn the base of the windscreen wiper arms (presumably intended to save impacted pedestrians from undue harm in those murderous pre-NCAP years...) The beaded seat cover. The in-car rubbish bin. My own list of shame ends with a dashboard mounted cassette rack (99p from Woollies) - revealing to all and sundry my own dubious taste in music ensured that my car was never broken into, and there I was thinking that it was the bright yellow gearlever/handbrake lock that kept my car safe...
Eclipsing all this tat is the LED clock, proudly adorning the (mock walnut) gearknob of a schoolmate's 850 Mini (He had a Saturday job in a motor accessory store and unlimited scope for accessorising his car!) It had the all-important stopwatch with lap timer and even a tiny one millionth candlepower backlight. (The watch was only vaguely readable if the car was at rest and in second gear.)
What were we like.....
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:04
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Reminds me of the time I thought I could improve a rust riddled VW Polo (889cc or raw power) by adding Ring spot lights on the bumper. They were huge and wobbled like Hell creating an effect not disimilar to a strobe light whilst driving down country lanes.
I then added fog lights hung underdeath the same bumper and they too wobbled. Eventually I burnt some wiring out and blew a fuse and had to take them off. I didnt have a clue about relays and stuff like that.
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:04
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Those chrome eyebrow shades that fitted over the top of standard 7" round headlamps.
Guaranteed to inflict a very deep incision on any unwary pedestrian. ;>(
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:05
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and what about those rubber anti-static dangly things that hung down from the back of cars. Do they still sell them?
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:05
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and what about those rubber anti-static dangly things that hung down from the back of cars. Do they still sell them?
Yes they do,bought one last year when I was getting shocks so strong you could here the crack of the electric discharge.They have a metal strip down the centre so they do work as long as it has made contact with the ground shortly before exiting.
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I can honestly say I had none of those! Nor did I have one of those earthing straps that were supposed to prevent car sickness or something.
I did once affect a 'leather' steering wheel cover fastened on with a shoelace arrangement, apart from that the only things I can recall adding were rear fog lights to a Polo that didn't have them as standard, and rear selt belts and a left door mirror ditto to a Fiesta.
Ah - just remembered the car compasses! Though actually if you could get them pointing the right way they were a useful item.
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:05
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I confess to fitting an 'anti-static' strap, but only because I got fed up with static shocks every time I got out of the car and got a 'belt' when shutting the door.
Didn't make a bit of difference IIRC, just kicked up a hell of a racket when the temperature dropped to near zero or lower and it became as stiff as as a lump of steel, transmitting the noise of it rubbing along the road directly into the passenger cabin.
I still get static shocks - nylon Y-fronts maybe. ;>(
PS. Just got Vista. Found the spell checker. ;>)
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:05
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Most useless gadget my car has. A dimmer for the dash display and the driver information display. What is the point? On some cars I would say it was to stop glare on the windscreen but the Corsa dosn't have that problem anyway, it is not a 1986 FIAT Strada.
Edited by Honestjohn on 13/07/2009 at 22:06
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The 6 foot fiberglass whip aerial with the end clipped to the roof gutter.
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** A "Start" button (just a ploy to make you spend a load extra on "keyless entry")
** "Child on Board" stickers - what's all that about? ("Please pick another car to crash into because we have children in this car"?)
** Tachometers in cars with automatic gearboxes
** Cruise control on the M25 - never get the chance to use it, unless it is three a.m.
** Multiple zone air conditioning in a car that is too small to benefit from it.
** Things that look like Mickey Mouse's head stuck to the top of car aerials.
** Automatic wipers (well, the ones on my car anyway)
** Automatic Headlights (If you don't know when to put your lights on then you shouldn't be driving)
** Self-parking systems (See Automatic Headlights)
** Kick plates. Who wears high heels these days - I don't! (Mind you, I am a bloke)
** BMW Indicators
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** "Child on Board" stickers - what's all that about?
It's cruelty to the child in question. It would be much more comfortable on a seat.
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I find it much more comfortable with the displays dimmed down on a long night drive.
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I too have my dash dimmed a bit for night driving. No difference when in town but when out on dark roads it can make a difference to what you see in the nice bright Xenons.
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"Child on Board" stickers - what's all that about? ("Please pick another car to crash into because we have children in this car"?)
I understand the original point of these was to inform the emergency services that there was a child on board if no other occupant was capable of doing so. You take it out with the child.
>>Things that look like Mickey Mouse's head stuck to the top of car aerials.
Have you never tried finding a silver car in a modern car park?
>>Automatic wipers (well, the ones on my car anyway)
>>Automatic Headlights (If you don't know when to put your lights on then you shouldn't be driving)
Because modern drivers probably need them, those fiddly things on the steering column stalks are far too difficult to understand.
PS. I love the spell checker on Vista. :>)
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I understand the original point of these was to inform the emergency services that there was a child on board if no other occupant was capable of doing so. You take it out with the child.
Good answer. Fair point.
Have you never tried finding a silver car in a modern car park?
My car is silver, and common. I remember where I have parked, and I know the car's registration. :-)
Because modern drivers probably need them those fiddly things on the steering column stalks are far too difficult to understand.
Crikey! Have things really gotten that bad?
Well, this is the text-speak generation, I suppose.
Edited by Webmaster on 14/07/2009 at 01:06
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I understand the original point of these was to inform the emergency services that there was a child on board if no other occupant was capable of doing so. You take it out with the child.
A myth.
These things are stuck on by smug people who generally have an apalling standard of driving themselves.
As for usless gadgets, I had one of those incredibly tacky wood and leather effect plastic centre consoles on a Capri. No matter how carefully you attached them to the transmission tunnel they always ended up perched on top like a drunks hat.
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How about the "Telu log"?
IIRC it was a device which helped you to work out your mpg; it had a series of wheels which turned to put the numbers on display, but it didn't actually compute the mpg for you.
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What about the knob that clamped on the steering wheel so you could spin it round with one hand? Had them in the '60s.
Mini electric heaters that mounted on top of the dash (before demisters were common).
Headrests that clipped onto the top of the seat.
Devices to take up the slack in your seat belt (before inertia reels).
Blue plastic or expanded metal peaks for the windscreen (to keep the sun out of your eyes?)
Plastic 'monsoon' shields on the driver's door window.
'Porthole' chrome things (usually 3 in a row along the side of the front wing) No purpose at all.
Coloured 'towing' lights mounted above the windscreen. Were these at one point required?
Spoilers for the windscreen wipers to make them work at 100mph+
Fresnel lenses for estate back windows so you could see Johnny on his tricycle.
Windscreen stickers with the car name or 'Dave and Julie'
Some Japanese used imports come with an electric telescopic rod on the left corner of the front bumper. Presumably this lets short drivers know where the end of the car is. Sometimes have a little light on top.
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the mods would hunt me down if i gave it here :-) )
we did
Edited by Pugugly on 14/07/2009 at 08:23
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What about the knob that clamped on the steering wheel .............
Still readily available and often used by disabled drivers.
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The rear view mirror that stretched from left to right (or even right to left!) in the car and consisted of about 7 or so mirrors all stuck together.
In the days before clocks became common, Smiths Industries made a magnetic clock which looked very much like a fob watch and it stuck to the metal dash.
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Where can I get a magnetic clock? }:---)
The Verso's clock is buried in the computer display (and fails to keep time anyway) so I want one that can be on permanent display. This is the first car I've ever had in which I find myself looking at my watch while driving.
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I had one of them on an old Wolseley 6/110. Never bothered with it for normal driving but it came in handy for parking. Turns of the steering wheel seemed infinite on that monster.
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Also useful on a tractor.
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>> What about the knob that clamped on the steering wheel ............. Still readily available and often used by disabled drivers.
>
and tractor, combine harvestor and forklift drivers.
Believe H&S have now banned them. They obviously have never driven any of the above!
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Believe H&S have now banned them.
H&S seem to be banning everything at the moment!
sticking plasters not allowed in 1st aid kits.... if someone was unconscious the last thing Id be doing would be putting a plaster on a cut... if they were awake Im sure they would tell me not to stick on on, if it affects them......
Latex gloves.... they are also so banned! again surely if they affect people those people wouldnt use them?
Hmmm what other used do we have for latex? and how long before they get banned?
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Without wishing to back stupid decisions under the guise of H+S, who actually has "banned" these items?
Is there a Construction and Use clause which does so, or is it some silly clerk refusing, or unable to do a competant risk assessment?
These days, the Health and Safety Executive are at great pains to distance themselves from silly decisions.
Edited by Neiltoo on 14/07/2009 at 11:56
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They're essential on a forklift, where you need one hand free to operate the mast controls whilst doing tight manoevres, but anywhere else (particularly in articulated lorries) they're just an affectation.
I find them a damn nuisance if I ever have to drive a lorry with one fitted, and have been known to take the lorry to the garage and have the device removed.
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Steering wheel knobs are still used in competition. Trials and autotests that I know of.
I tried one, but I found it was easy to forget where the straight ahead position was and I soon broke it with the forces I was exerting.
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have been known to take the lorry to the garage andhave the device removed.
Too true i've undone the thing every time.
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im the H&S officer where i work i get about 12 H&S related emails a day from various places and im lucky if 2 a week turn out to be bona fide H&S regs or rulings the rest are just rumour and misunderstanding
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latex gloves were targeted not because the user maybe allergic to them but to reduce the risk to others, alot of latex allergies only need secondary contact (i.e someone wearing them to prepare the persons food) to have a reaction.
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latex gloves were targeted not because the user maybe allergic to them but to reduce the risk to others alot of latex allergies only need secondary contact (i.e someone wearing them to prepare the persons food) to have a reaction.
So bananas and condoms will be next?
Ok I understand in a food prep environment, but when working on the dirty bits of cars, trucks etc?
the alternatives IMO are not as good, when working on small oily components (repairing gearboxs for instance) you need to keep as much 'feel' as possible, this you loose using vinyl gloves.
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