I wondered lonely as a cloud
by ugly motors large and loud
All gas guzzlers plain to see
waiting for a monster fee
Wheels to grace a road going tank
tyres to bust a modest bank
in your face with lack of grace
dominator`s of rat and race
puff and pomp, supercilious glance
a personal lack below perchance?
Six, nay, eight, cylinders roar
as Egbert peers, over the door
Air-con on, to help survive
bacteria out, to grow and thrive
A road hump shunts and shakes the liver
and Egberts knees are all aquiver
The Wobble Master lurches on
But, `t schools runs over and the con
Cos, small is good and big is bad
you know it is, it`s not a fad
So snort and pomp and gloat at leisure
till, Gordon hits you with his measure.
(Inspired by looking around a couple of main dealers yesterday)
;)
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You are one of us oilrag.
:o}
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Forgive me if I post a slightly different take on the same general subject...
As the last of the oil
is sucked out of the soil
and its price makes its guzzling a no-go
it is better by far
if you must use a car
to mimse behind Modesty's logo
(except the Old Bill
and Cruella de Vil
and the lords of Whitehall
and Madonna and Paul
and incompetent bankers
and footballing onanists
and fat thieving toerags a'gogo).
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The M1 to Leeds is thick with cars
10,000 Air-con`s hissing as on Mars
Hermetically sealed, because they can
Fridges full on to chill the Spam
fumes rise into a clear blue sky
and things above can live or die
as global warming gathers pace
chilled air blows on johnnies face
Gas, chilled wind and internal blether
it does feel better around the nether
the fungal`s gone from it`s resort
And the spaceships docking outside Court
;);)
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I am a young executive. No cuffs than mine are cleaner;
I have a Slimline brief-case and I use the firm's Cortina.
... Er, now a Focus Ecotec, cos it's greener.
(apologies to J. Betjeman).
(hoping I'm on whatever topic this is...) :-)
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hoping I'm on whatever topic this is...) :-
Poet's corner thread ----------(aka Silly Thread)
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"I wondered lonely as a cloud..."
Wondered? Wandered? Wondered as I wandered?
[Pedant mode off... Leaves room...]
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Exactly Chris. Wondered.
C`mom Lads and Lasses. Environmental er..`poetry`, car related ;)
Edited by oilrag on 19/08/2008 at 21:12
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... or it'll just be oilrag and me trying to blow each other off the stand like a couple of stoned and knackered bebop saxophonists old before our time, wondering what tune we're supposed to be playing and eyeing the foxes at the bar...
Edited by Lud on 19/08/2008 at 21:21
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OK I'll have a go....
There was a young driver from Brighton
Who liked to drive with a light on
One day he.......
No better not.......( Mods about ) !
;-)
Edited by Humph Backbridge on 19/08/2008 at 21:41
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You're a bad egg. I was doing similar research in searching for car-related limericks earlier I could only find some very dodgy ones about gherkins. Where did the Silly Thread go ?
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You are old father William the young man said
And your hair has turned very white.
Yet you still drive round in your old Rover car,
Do you think at your age it is right?
In my youth father William replied to his son,
I drove sans insurance or tax.
I just sped along as fast as I could
And ignored all the Road Traffic Acts.
But now I am older I just mimse down the road
At a steady forty all day.
And if Lud is behind me, so much the better,
I just love to get in his way.!
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You guys are nuts!
Amusingly nuts, but nuts still the same.
Keep up the good work - Glub knows I need a laugh.
Kevin...
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With a click and fizz and under-charge
The Petro-hybrid looms up large
two tons of battery, miles of wire
Peters pants are not on fire
Air scrubber running on battery power
all it needs is a conning tower
whining along the road so slow
the battery terminals start to glow
Time to start the Briggs and Stratton
thoughts, at least, of hills to flatten
With a pop and a clank it bursts to life
Outdoing battery, it tries to strive
Peter Pius, `neath conning tower
An Eco-warrier on the Gower
twenty grand lighter in the bank
But It feels so `right` in an Eco-tank
But a city car does seventy five!
as hybrids relays go from live..
complexity has a price it seems
save fuel now! in your dreams..
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Apologies to Tennyson.
Brake, brake, brake,
On thy cold A103!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.
O, well for the foreign plate lorry,
That he shouts at those on their way.
O, well for the terrible parker,
That she dings in the Tesco each day.
And the hard earned tax goes on
To its haven at Number Eleven;
And O for the thought of a soon to be time,
When the pound for a litre is seven.
Brake, brake, brake,
Use the foot of thy trainers, you see.
For the motoring joy of a day that is dead
Will never come back to me.
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Apologies to all!
To drive, or not to drive-that is the question:
Whether ?tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous economisers,
Or to take V8s against this sea of troubles
And by overwhelming end them. To drive, to enjoy ?
No more - and in that fun to say we end
The heartache, and the thousands of national mimsers
That Backroomers are heir to.
?Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.............
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I wish I was a Mimser,
A Mimser's never glum,
How could you be unhappy,
With fast driver's on your bum (per)? ;-)
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There was an experienced back-roomer
Who said "Oh dear. I've made a bloomer.
I wrote in bad verse.
But what followed was worse.
Still at least we all recognise humour."
There was a grave poster called oilrag
Who wrote "greasing nipples is my bag."
And then in a trice
It was "pink fluffy dice"
Which made him appear like an old lag.
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Not one of mine - but worthy enough methinks to post, just as a reminder!
Blue lights in the mirror by Dean Thorpe
Speeding down the road, screeching round the bend.
Along another straight, nearly at the end.
Music playing loud, feel the pounding bass.
Driving just for fun, not to go some place.
Have another drink, pedal on the floor.
Too fast on the corner, scratches down the door.
Behind you in the mirror, blue lights start to flash.
Try to go much faster, but then there is a crash.
Metal twists around you, cuts you like a knife.
Then it is all over, oh what a wasted life.
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I can't remember who it was that parodied the first verse of Gray's Elegy so delightfully:
The pips do toll the knell of parting day,
The queuing cars wind slowly o?er the lea,
The pedestrian plods his absent-minded way,
And leaves the world - most unexpectedly.
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Nay says I to Gordon`s antics
But papers print headlines and the mob panics
Green Tax is Harsh! Petrol is rising!
The rush for diesels is unsurprising
Guzzler`s plunge in trade in value
But the mob keeps selling, now shall u?
I only travel ten miles a day
Do I really need to give my rx8 away?
I think not says the grey matter
Ignore the papers and listen to the latter
Should I try to lift the lid?
All this panic to save two hundred quid!
You see there`s this key thing called cost per mile
Take it into account before spending your pile
Diesel is an expensive brand
When buying a car and or putting in a can.
Yes! Do consider all the facts: Mpg, Taxes too,
But cost to change is often higher than you
So I`ll keep my car and let the mob rule.
I`d rather spend two hundred quid than be a trade-in tool.
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Do any Back Roomers ever get the time to actually get out
(of their institutions)?
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