As I get older, I find myself constantly adding to the list of observed motoring stereotypes ? the lowered, 'pimped', black-windowed Corsa with full body kit and 3cm. ground clearance, driven (in second gear at full throttle..) by a youth in T shirt and reversed baseball cap?Contractors lorries with half the windscreen obscured by a drift of receipts, copies of The Sun, sandwich wrappers and drinks cans?etc. etc.
Well, to get to the story, I pulled off thwe A272 onto the Langrish-West Meon road last week, just behind Stereotype # 56 ? little old lady, silver hair in bun, invisible from behind, (due to headrest being in the way), driving a white Metro 1.1?.
Teeth go into automatic grind mode (the road, although two-way, is about 5 miles long with no overtaking stretches. I anticipated twenty-five minutes of creeping and sotto voce muttering..
Well! Another preconception bites the dust...
I consider myself to be a rapid but safe driver (don?t we all?) and used to rally and autocross a mini, but I didn?t get within three hundred yards of that Metro. The lady used the road superbly, taking an economical line through the corners, braking early and accelerating out. By the time we joined the main road my ego had shrunk to the size of a peanut..I eventually convinced myself she must have been an ex. professional rally driver.
Any similar confessions out there?
P.
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I came across stereotype #42 the other week.
Kia Rio, driven by middle aged man with a "Noel Edmonds" jumper, beard, and pipe.
Clued to my rear bumper, and once I moved over was off into the distance like a bat out of hell.
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I can give you an example from the other perspective....
5 years ago (and plus) I had a Rover 600 and being 'only' mid 30's when I bought it my mates laughed and extracted the urine incessantly, because I?d bought an 'old man's car'.... which to be fair it was...( I wanted to be non-descript & be left alone by car thieves and traffic cops).
one very wet wintry evening I was leaving my folks home village in Devon, on the edge of Dartmoor, to meet up with friends at a major junction who were travelling down from London and who didn't know where they were going... and I was well late.
I drove out onto a fast stretch and was motoring on, when I caught up a Cavalier SRi and overtook it. For some reason he took exception to this and with vast amounts of main beam flashing accelerated noticeably behind me.
When I got to a right hand bend.........that for a good 17-18 years I knew like the back of my hand (and knew that the tarmac changed halfway around it, for the worse, i.e. less grip on the old stuff) I thought to my self.. 'ok clever dick, let's see how fast you can go round here then'....... and settled my car approaching it, lost some speed and applied some revs for a constant speed around the bend, ready to feed it in one the outside of the corner...
the problem was, said Cavalier had accelerated greatly to catch me up and at a time I had gently braked to settle the car's speed before the corner, he was now catching me up big time, so had no choice but to brake a lot....
which is not what you want to be doing as you're driving around a wet corner in a front wheel drive (or anything for that matter) and my car had under steered noticeably through the bend, with decent tyres on it.
the end result was quite dramatic....... by now I was joining the acceleration zone for a dual carriageway , but in the mirror could see his headlights doing 360s....... and then just as I reached the main road I saw the headlights point right up into the sky....
I went up to the next off slip and went back (worried the occupants might be upside down in a ditch) and found this Cavalier completely beached, all 4 wheels off the ground with the underside sat on the Armco barrier for the dual carriageway.....where it had skidded sideways up the barrier, as the end bit of barrier went down into the ground so as not to leave sharp edge..
The conversation from the female passenger was priceless "Thank God you've stopped, we've just been driven off the road by a madman"... me "what sort of car was he driving?" " a big blue one" "did you get the registration number" "some of it, it started with an 'N' " ......"I'm the car that overtook you, I saw you spinning in my mirror".......... huge long silence, then....."Oh"
I had called the Old Bill whilst driving back to them...and in the 10 mins or so it took for them to arrive the male and female from the Cavalier dropped their yarn about the 'madman' ...
Funny thing was though; the woman was an employee of my brother's, girlfriend's mother and had been having a pre Xmas soiree with various people....... inc my brother.... He thought it was hilarious, but didn't dare tell his girlfriend... or her mother.
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Am I the only person who ever gets stuck behind slow, badly driven BMWs on A roads?
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Am I the only person who ever gets stuck behind slow, badly driven BMWs on A roads?
No. Normally the sort of machniery that would wipe the floor with my car too, if it wasn't in the hands of a total prat.
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Heading up to the M4 near Uxbridge a few years back now, I heard the unmistakeable popping, blipping and banging of a big, barely silenced V8 coming down through the box with an accomplished heel-and-toer behind the wheel. Sure enough, from the opposite side of the roundabout, a green TVR Griffith 500 flies on to the roundabout braking so hard that the nose is almost biting the tarmac. Off the brakes, flick of the wheel and a bootful of throttle, the tail eases out, and I witness the most beautifully controlled powerslide I have ever seen. A good turn of opposite lock, two even black lines and whiffs of smoke from the back tyres, and a beautiful tight line around the roundabout and back up the road from whence it came. Smiling to myself, I pull onto the roundabout and continue on my way, following it along the Stockley Bypass where it is disappearing at a rate of knots.
As we join the tail end of the queue for the lights, my lane is moving quicker and I slowly reel it in. As I catch up and peer across, there's a woman of approximately 60-65 years of age, glasses, tartan blazer and leather driving gloves.
It made my week! I could not have driven that car like that, and neither could pretty much anyone I know. I wanted to buy her a beer!
Cheers
DP
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There are some very good woman drivers. You can tell whether people are any good when you follow them along a decent bit of A road. I had for a while a very pretty, rough, matt-grey Skoda coupe with lowered suspension. Batting down the A29 once I came up with one of those plastic VW-engined Porsche 550 replicas, nice cars when properly sorted as this one obviously was. It was making about 7mph above the limit and I felt no inclination whatsoever to get past it, a sign of great contentment with the way it was being driven. At the parting of the ways we were side by side at a junction, and the driver, who flashed me the sort of grin reserved for fellow rear-engine freaks, was a lady in her twenties or thirties.
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Engines at the back pushing a car are not natural. Ever wondered why a supermarket trolley behaves like it does? because the engine is at the back.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Engines are not natural and nor are cars. In any case TVM your technical description of the supermarket trolley is not complete. You failed to mention the casters on all four corners, one of which is invariably seized.
And surely the person pushing it is a draught animal? I feel many members of this forum may be offended if called 'engines'.
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UK supermarket trollys are rubbish TVM. I once had the pleasure in Canada of road testing a trolly with the back wheels pointing in a set direction, with the front wheels steering. What a brilliant design it was, with good road holding and fantastic feel through the corners. Most of the trollys in the U.K have all wheel steering, which means that they are better to park and can filter in and out of traffic better, but for the open supermarket floor there is nothing beter than 2 wheel steering.
On another note I would hate to pull rather than push every trolly I have come across.
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Torque means nothing without RPM
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"for the open supermarket floor there is nothing better than 2 wheel steering. "
As the French realise - all their trolleys are 2 wheel steering. Rumour has it that the latest ones have Hydractive III suspension also - great for getting all that wine and beer to your car;-)
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Phil
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">Ever wondered why a supermarket trolley behaves like it does? because the engine is at the back.<"
What tosh!! Rear wheel steer (RWS) is the issue here. RWS has advantages in tight situations, but maintenance is key ..... as I recall. Does anyone of importance actually visit emporiums these days that require the use of trolleys? There are those who claim that porn is the driving force behind the internet, this is clearly rubbish. The internet permits those of above average IQ to "tedium-shop" without mixing with the rabble.
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I think someone may be taking the micky!
Its not rear wheel steering, its 4 wheel steering! thats why its the problem!
And as for mixing with the rabble; it makes a change from just the wife ?
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">Its not rear wheel steering, its 4 wheel steering! thats why its the problem!<"
Really?! Things have obviously moved on a bit since I last used a supermarket trolley then ;-)
">And as for mixing with the rabble; it makes a change from just the wife ?<"
You've lost me there, are you suggesting that you mix with the rabble at the supermarket to avoid mixing with your wife?? Does she know this?? How much can you pay me not to tell her???
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>What tosh!! Rear wheel steer (RWS) is the issue here
Utter tripe!
take your 4 wheel steer supermarket trolley, and put the engine at the front pulling the thing, and bingo - one well behaved trolley.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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">take your 4 wheel steer supermarket trolley, and put the engine at the front pulling the thing, and bingo - one well behaved trolley.<"
See above.
Are supermarket trolleys really AWS? I clearly lead a sheltered life. I sometimes visit French supermarkets,...
Remainder of post accidentally deleted. I think it broke most of the rules. :-) smokie, BR Moderator
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>What tosh!! Rear wheel steer (RWS) is the issue here Utter tripe! take your 4 wheel steer supermarket trolley, and put the engine at the front pulling the thing, and bingo - one well behaved trolley.
TVM is right. I saw details (might have been on Tomorrows World) once of a trolley which was identical to the ones you see in UK stores, except the handle was connected at each end to a metal bar which ran all the way to the front of the trolley. This meant that, while the shopper was pushing, the effect on the trolley was a pull. They were much better behaved and more controllable.
I seem to remember they even deliberately damaged one of the wheels, and it still worked fine.
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Bazza-
I'm trying to visualise a set up like you've described,- surely if the connection between the handle at the back and the rest of the trolley was rigid ( connected by a bar to any part of the trolley ) the end effect would be as if the handle was at the back, as usual?
P.
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Bazza,-
Are you the same BazzaBear that posts on the SSS group at Yahoo? (Tried to check your profile but it just makes a
'blooping' sound and scrolls to the top of the page.)
P.
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Bazza,- Are you the same BazzaBear that posts on the SSS group at Yahoo? (Tried to check your profile but it just makes a 'blooping' sound and scrolls to the top of the page.)
I'm not. Which is slightly worrying, I mean, what sort of idiot would call themselves Bazzabear?
I'm not v ery good at describing things, but imagine the handle ONLY attached at the very front of the trolley, with a bar running back to the handle. Although it still sounds like you're pushing (and indeed you are) the force applied to the trolley is a pull from the front, and makes it much more stable.
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It was that subversive and bigoted fellow TVM who started this shopping trolley stuff with his crazed rant against refined, well-packaged, reliably provided with traction rear engined cars... I would remind people, although it isn't my business to, that motoring stereotypes were the subject of this thread, not meticulous analysis of shopping trolley design...
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I would remind people, although it isn't my business to,
By all means carry on Lud. I don't care who prompts the occasional reminder that this is a motoring forum, as long as the message gets through.
DD.
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Dear oh dear. They'll be calling me teacher's pet in a minute. Then I may have to get into trouble just so the chaps won't ostracise me. Damn! Think I'll run away.....
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Heading up to the M4 near Uxbridge a few years back now, I heard the unmistakeable popping, blipping and banging of a big, barely silenced V8 coming down through the box with an accomplished heel-and-toer behind the wheel.
In reply to DP:-
Might it have been Pat Moss (Stirling's sister) She used to rally with Big Healeys and other ferocious beasts. Is a very accomplished lady at the wheel. Probably in her early seventies now.
Phil I.
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above should have been tacked on to DP reminescence ? speeling.
Phil I
{It is tacked onto DP's message. Change to 'view threaded' to see what I mean - www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?t=46440&...t , but I have now added a couple of lines of text from DPs message and a 'in reply to DP' so as to avoid further confusion - DD}
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