Bit disappointed with Brewer tonight who I think is the best on TV for motoring programmes.
His Vectra putdown portraying its dullness by watching paint dry and grass grow seemed to be an imitation of Clarkson who is my least favourite.
Mind.....having a Vectra myself does make me a bit predjudiced..
Now if he wants to see true absolute boredom he should watch the curling on winter olympics. I sit in amazement at two roadsweepers working with a speed and enthusiasm that our long gone council sweepers never displayed.
alvin
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To be fair i think he summed the new Vectra up perfectly. Not as good as the competition but will still sell in droves (thanks to fleet buyers).
Whats this olympics all about ? people racing on tea trays , bowls on ice .....
Suppose the BBC need this kind of 'sport' to fill out the schedules now every major sporting event has been taken from them. Time to scrap the licence fee i think!
Just a little off topic .....slap wrist..
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Nearly every adult in the country drives and we are lucky to get half an hour a week devoted to motoring on the Beeb, yet they waste millions on the winter olympics. Mind you, if the downhill ski event was run as a mass start, and the biathletes were allowed to shoot at one another........
Spose they've got to stick with it though, in case some Brit comes 101st in the snowball flinging or something.
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Tom Shaw wrote:
>
> Nearly every adult in the country drives and we are lucky to
> get half an hour a week devoted to motoring on the Beeb, yet
> they waste millions on the winter olympics. Mind you, if the
> downhill ski event was run as a mass start, and the
> biathletes were allowed to shoot at one another........
>
> Spose they've got to stick with it though, in case some Brit
> comes 101st in the snowball flinging or something.
Apologies to all Manchester residents here are a few ideas for the Commonwealth Games.......................
As you may know, Manchester will be hosting the Commonwealth games next
July.
What you may not know is that many of the famous events which go to make up this spectacular have been especially altered for Manchester.
A copy of these changes has been leaked, and is reproduced below:
OPENING CEREMONY
The flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of Salford, in
the traditional dress of balaclava and Rockports. The flame will be contained in a large overturned police van situated on the roof of the stadium.
THE EVENTS
In previous Commonwealth games, Manchester's competitors have not been
particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events
have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.
100 METRES SPRINT
Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one under
each arm), and the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.
110 METRES HURDLES
As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences,
walls etc)
HAMMER
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use
(claw, sledge etc). The winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage within three attempts.
FENCING
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in 5 minutes.
SHOOTING
A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk bank teller or Securicor-style wages deliveryman.
The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by a choice of either a Browning automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.
BOXING
Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.
CYCLING TIME TRIALS
Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an
expensive mountain bike owned by some poor guy on his first trip away from
home. All against the clock.
CYCLING PURSUIT
As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian
rugby team, who will witness the theft.
MODERN PENTATHLON
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
SWIMMING EVENTS
All waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels. Once one is found that can support human life, swimming events will be organised. Please note that the Synchronised Swimming event for this year will comprise dropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool. The specific musical support to this event will be provided by "The Verve".
THE MARATHON
A safe route has yet to be decided.
MEN'S 50KM WALK
Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Manchester, especially anyone that appears to be mincing...
THE CLOSING CEREMONY
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Salford
Health-in-the-Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing
and music by the Stockport community choir. The flame will be extinguished
by police riot water cannon following inevitable pitch invasion by the Man.
United organised hooliganism club. The stadium itself will then be boarded
up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping
and the central heating boiler.
Late News:
Apparently Liverpool were set to put in a bid very similar to the above but
with the Pentathlon modified to include: killing a spouse, digging a hole,
burying the body, laying a patio and the strangely named 'Calm Down'
contest. To guarantee the entry of any Mancunian athletes at all, Drugs
testing has been waived this year.
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is that there are only 1.5 million people participating in the sport worldwide, yet it's an Olympic sport.
Of the 1.5 mil., 1.4 of them are in Canada. Only 4 other countries have more than 10,000 curlers, Scotland, USA, Japan & Switzerland.
No wonder the Canadians looked disappointed with bronze.
A great acheivement to win it, IMHO.
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I can't imagine that there are too many people whose main obsession is hurtling down a channel carved in the ice on a tea-tray and dressed in a rubber suit (two classes, too - head-first and feet-first!). It must be something about cold weather...
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You talk about the Beeb spending millions Tom, did you know they spent £ 6 million on Steven Spielbergs 10 part mini-series 'Band of Brothers' (which was excellent IMO) and actually deleted important scenes from some episodes just because they ran over an hour ? Its really wound a lot of people up ,especially since the majority of actors were British and it was filmed in Britain.
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BTW, the Band of Brothers railway scenes were filmed courtesy of the Nene Valley Railway.
Ooops, mentioned that taboo subject again. I'll go and wash my PC out.
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Stu,
Stand by . . . in fact HIDE.
Stu.
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FIF....brilliant, That's made my day.....If I was HJ who now owns the copywright (I presume) I would sell your article to the Telegraph.
regards
alvin
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Driven last night was OK, but the inspired bit was putting the adverts on when Kylie was doing her routine in ITV at the BRITS. Flick, sing along, flick back. Marvellous.
Did anyone see that BBC2 are putting out two new motoring programs? "Under the bonnet" and "Right Car, wrong car", the latter unfortunately having that annoying Irish bloke in it. Any thoughts?
Lee.
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What is it with Irish blokes? The one I really can't stand is Diarmud Gavin, whose idea of gardening is to weld up a pile of scrap iron and park it where a flowerbed should be. I'd love to know how long the new owners put up with them when they start to rust.
In defence of the Winter Olympics, though, how about our girls beating the Swiss at curling? There are worse programmes...
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I liked the curling.
Mind you the Scrapheap Challenge crew could have speeded it up.
"Here's a result I made earlier".
David
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Curling. Strange ladies shouting at lumps of rock. I know women think they can influence things by shouting at them but slabs of granite - I don't think so! Well done but is about as much a sport as synchronised swimming, it keeps you fit but so does walking to the pub!
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Can't you see the skill though Pete?
PS. You've never answered me as to the type of pointy "vehicle" you use.
David
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Interesting to note that you don't consider Curling as sport. Is Bowls a sport? Seems to me that Curling is Bowls on ice. Most contributers here would consider F1 as sport. I wonder whether the world beating ladies think likewise?
Everyone to their own.
Chris
P.S. Have to agree about Synchro Swimming though!
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This is off thread. What's Mike Brewer going to think when he cops a load of it?
HJ
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>What's Mike Brewer going to think when he cops a load of it?
Possibly about getting the Gold Medal British curling girls to do an item on Driven, Type-R on the skid pan?? With that fine stone control on ice they should be ace.
David
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Its hard to keep a thread going on a Vauxhall Vectra !!
What can you say ???
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