A guy buys his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentines.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said,
"Wait a minute, I thought you told me before that she wanted
one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles?"
"Well she did," he replied...
"But just where the hell was I going to find a fake Jeep?!"
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for anyone who hasn't seen ...
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
> knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little
> Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign, you
> sign!". Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson
> is standing there in complete amazement when the Japanese man starts
> to yell louder. "You sign! You sign!". Nelson says to him, "Look mate,
> you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Get lost!." and shuts the door
> in the Japanese man's face. The next day he hears a knock at the door
> again. When he opens it, the little Japanese man is back, with a huge
> truck full of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's
> nose, yelling "You.sign! You sign!". Mr Mandela is getting a bit
> hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Japanese man back,
> shouting: "Look, get lost!! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want
> them!" then slams the door in
> the Japanese man's face again. The following day Nelson is resting,
and
> late in the afternoon, hears a knock on the door again. Upon opening
> the door, the little Japanese man thrusts the same clipboard under his
> nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!". Behind him are TWO large
> trucks full of wing mirrors. Nelson loses his temper completely,
> picks the little man up by his shirt front and yells at him, "Look, I
> don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who
do
> you
> want to give these to?" The little Japanese man looks at him a bit
> puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
> "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
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David,
So you didn't like my likkle joke? Thread hijacked!
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Velly Rongtime, deriver cal palts.
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Alwyn,
You may notice that my posts try to deal with the positive rather than negative. Hence I did like Andrew's, not so much that I didn't like yours!
I've never even said "Euroshed" once.
David
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David,"
"Not so much that I didn't like yours"
Not sure me understand.
Mine was at least motoring related and it is so impolite to hijack a thread, don't you think?
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Sorry Alwyn,
Trying to be clever and failing.
What I meant was that my whole character of posting here is to report the positive of things I know about and not bang on about the negatives of the opposition.
As for thread hijacking, surely that is a legitimate sport.
Ask me a question on fox hunting and I'll give you a reply on the Euro...sort of thing.
David
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I'll pre-empt a post from faraway: a fake jeep.......a Freelander ?
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At a police convention, in the bar after the day`s studies, an argument breaks out. Basically Scotland Yard, the CIA and the Brazilian Policiar Militar are having an argument about who has the best police force.
Eventually, in their drunken state, they decide a competition is the only way to decide.
So off they all troop to a field on the edge of the forest. The judge is standing holding a rabbit. The intent is to release the rabbit and time how long it takes the differing forces to recapture it.
First to go is Scotland Yard. They are all milling around in their macs, bowler hats and umbrellas. On the word to get ready, they all start slinking from tree to tree gradually working their way into the forest.
The referee releases the rabbit.
11 minutes later Scotland Yard return to the referee with the rabbit. "11 minutes!" he exclaims "that`s pretty good.
Now its the turn of the CIA. At this, the CIA start running between trees, speaking into their sleeves, AWACS and helicopters fly above the trees, and men in green run around shouting "hut, hut, hut".
The referee releases the rabbit. 10 minutes later the CIA return to the referee with the Rabbit.
"my goodness" he says " 10 minutes, that`s even better than the Brits"
Now is the turn of the Brazilian Policiar Militar. At this, 30 thugs wearing motorcycle leather jackets, leather boots and baseball caps run screaming into the forest with their batons and Uzis just as the referee releases the rabbit.
3 seconds later the Policiar Militar return to the referee...........with a pig.
The pig is bleeding from the mouth, one of its legs is clearly broken, its ribs are bruised and bleeding, and it is lying on the floor twitching.
What the hell ?" says the referee " this is a Pig !!!"
and the pig said "no, no, I admit it, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit !!!"
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...and 3 days later Hampshire Constabulary come back with a man eating a Kit Kat.
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I still laugh, but the first time I heard this was in the Middle East. Still the CIA, but included Mossad and the Syrian Mughabharat secret police. The Syrians were the butt of the joke and since the storyteller was Muslim we still had a rabbit but the pig became a goat.
This must be like one of these urban myths that travel the world, changing to suit circumstances.
Motoring connection: In my version the CIA and Mossad all leapt into the American's Cherokees to go find the Mughabharat.
David
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