Well ... it is quiet in here today.
So by way of a diversion ... as I shall turn 40 over the Xmas break, can the backroomers tell me:
a: Where I can find suitable pair of driving slippers, best brand?, a la DW.
b: The info which I need to read to show me how to adjust my driving style commensurate with age.
c: A flat cap (or should that be trilby?)
d: A club badge for the grille (and which club?)
e: What car shall I drive (do I have to sell the Audi?)
f: What's the maximam speed I'll be allowed to do?
g: Do I need a caravan?
... anything else I should be aware of?
Be afraid, be very afraid. (and be gentle).
Stu.
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Stu,
Why not try to recapture your lost youth?
a: Driving slippers? NO! Opt for the Nikes
b: Drive like a prat at all times
c: Baseball cap. The more obscure the team, the better.
d: No badge. Just a flashing led thing around the numberplate
e: any bottom-of-the-range hatchback will do. Spend lots of money on tarting it up.
f: Maximum speed? As quick as you can, especially away from the lights.
g: Do I need a caravan? No. But a nodding dog is a good idea.
:)
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Forget acting your age. Two years ago, at um, a few more years than you, I went back to a bikes. However, just occasionally I forget where I left it..........
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Come off it Brill not yet time to visit Social Services and order a G.T. Zimmer Frame.
Your only as young as you feel........
Wait until you've added another score and five then worry.
DVD
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Just show you what age does to your memory, I meant to add that I have just done a run across Blubberhouses and stopped at a Toilet. Went in, pulled my tie out and wet myself.
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You also need batty stickers saying
"I slow down for horses"
and
"Caution - Showdogs in transit"
Also, lower your seat, grip the wheel tightly and drive looking through it, with your eyes all screwed 'cos you have forgotten your glasses!
Happy Xmas & Happy Driving!
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If you've got a missus, she can no longer sit in the front - she has to sit in the back and you chauffer her!
also - steering wheel to chest distance must be <10cm.
- wear a flat cap when ur driving
- wait until you've recieved the hand-written invitation before you can pull out of junctions....
I'll stop myself there or i'll go on forever
Mark
p.s. Your not that old mate. You should still be out clubbing!
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> "Your not that old mate. You should still be out clubbing!"
Bowls club?
With 'my' reputation?
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Toyota Corollas are good cars. My Gdad has one. Suits him perfectly. Nissan Sunnys and Micras seem to be popular.
Any Jap cars really. Just dont foget the cushions and tissues on the back shelf, and the blanket on the back seat.
And the tool kit a workshop would be proud of in the boot.
Kev, feeling rather young and spritely
P.S I am not ageist, its based upon what my grandad has in his car.
P.P.S what is this Nova I should be driving? Aka Kevmobile
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I went into major crisis mode as I approached 40. Thoughts on the meaning of life haunted me. Slippers beckoned. A flat cap hovered over my head. My dad gave me his "In the Doghouse" car badge and I was already on my second caravan.
The only cure was suggested by a good friend who lent me his Porche 911 targa for a week. What an experience! Exhaust like a sewer pipe and noise to complement it. Monster garden-roller tyres. I was ultra careful with it in the wet, but in the dry it would fly along a treat. Safe overtaking was possible in tiny breaks in the traffic and it cornered as if on rails.
Only downside was breaking the cast alloy catch in the targa top which cost a leg-lifting £70 nearly 9 years ago.
Oh Gawd, am I that old, so soon ........
NURSE!
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Perhaps Corollas are OK now. I suggest later on you get a classic and get the insurers used to you, so that 34 years on they'll wear a Supra as one!
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As for speeds, reaction times and concentration suffer as we grow older. You can probably maintain existing speeds if you sharpen your technique and observation. I suggest you take the test of the Institute of Advanced Motorists. If you pass, you may get something off your insurance into the bargain.
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Was it a Transit, otherwise probably illegal under Trade Descriptions !
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Have to go with Derek on this, buy a motorcycle. 0-60 in well under 4 seconds for almost anything over 600 less than 3 for 1000+. The feeling you get, when someone at 80 mph tries to cut you up on the MW, and you just twist and go, 80-160 in less than 20 seconds. Nothing to compare. Wheelies just on power, not popping the clutch, donuts and other holigan type things, but all on private property of course ;-).
Bill
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A couple of nice cushions and a panama hat for the rear shelf.
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If you want to create an image that reflects a certain age, then read the following...
Long, long ago when I learnt to drive, the badge of an 'older driver' was a steering wheel with a kind of elasticated dark red velvet cover. Steering wheels then were usually very thin, and attached to the central boss by very thin spokes (often of chromed metal rods), so a cover was quite sensible - it made the wheel more comfortable to use. But dark red velvet??? The car was usually an ancient (even then) Morris Minor with a split screen and indicators like little illuminated wings (fixed to the door pillars) that lifted up and down when you turned a switch fitted to the boss of the steering wheel. At anything over 45mph, the wind pressure on the indicator wings prevented them from moving. And didn't they have a little roller blind on the rear window, operated by a string running along the roof? The wipers (usually you had only one, two was luxury) had a little motor mounted inside the car, with a hand operated lever inside, so if the motor failed, the driver could wipe the screen by turning the lever. The screen heater was a tiny convector heater stuck on the inside of the screen with little rubber suckers. Internal heater? What heater? Heaters are for softies. I could go on, but nostalgia like this I could do without.
If you can't remember driving in cars like this you aren't old.
Richard
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That sounds like the '38 Rover 12, my father had. Nice leather seats, too!
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Thanks all, I'm off to buy some trousers with elasticated waistband.
Worthers original anyone?
Stu.
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