Just to lighten the mood I wondered whether you could express great philosophical questions in terms of motoring related items? The only one I could come up with at this late hour was this:
If an italian/french car of your choice collapses in a heap in a deserted car park with no-one around does it make a noise?
teabelly
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Only if God is listening.
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How many angels does it take to dance on the head gasket of a Freelander?
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if you left a meastro on its own for longer than 5 mins, did the lady computer start whinging to herself?
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if you back your car into the garage......don't reverse it out!!.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Why do people get their tires rotated? Don?t tires rotate on their own?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your head lights on, what happens?
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Never travel anywhere for the first time.
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drive carefully........it's not only cars that can be recalled by the maker!.
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It's better to travel hopefully than to arrive!
Roger in Spain
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Not a question, but:
I drive, therefore I am.
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What car would Jesus drive?
DVD
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Don't know, but I bet he'd not go for a MkIII Fiesta Diesel. He's seen enough of old nails by now......
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ND, you're going to hell for that one - not for the content, you understand, just cos it was so awful!
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andymc
Vroom, vroom - mmmm, doughnuts
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ND - suggest you steer well clear of thunderclouds for a while.
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I was going to say one that makes him feel as powerful as his dad, but thought better of it...
teabelly
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In answer to my question what car would Jesus drive:
Simple.
A Landrover Series 1
Why?
It too was an immauculate conception.
DVD
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Sorry DVD, but it wasn't Jesus that was the Immaculate Conception, but the Virgin Mary so that she could be the Mother of Jesus. However, she would probably have driven the Landie!!
Now where would I be without that good Catholic education??
PhilW (RC,lapsed and excommunicated!!)
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Surely 'immaculate conception' refers to her getting pregnant without *ahem*, so neither of them IS an immaculate conception, but Jesus is the result of one, and Mary had one happen to her?
Perhaps she is an immaculate conceptor (which I'm afraid sounds like a Transformer robot) and he is an immaculate conceptee?
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What car would Jesus drive? DVD
A Honda.
"For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49
Alternatively see www.highrock.com/personal/WWJD/
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">> What car would Jesus drive?DVD
A Honda.
"For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49"
Brilliant answer FiF, ROFLMAO!!! Even better that it's on a Sunday!
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andymc
Vroom, vroom - mmmm, doughnuts
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">> What car would Jesus drive?DVD
I don't know about Jesus, but Moses came down the hill in his Triumph.
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Directions...
"If I was going to (insert your location of choice),
I wouldn't start from here".
John R
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Please don't remind me. I said that to someone once, in Cambridge. He wanted to go to the rail station and was on the opposite side of the one-way system. Giving verbal directions was going to be an utter nightmare and (without thinking) I said that this wasn't the best place to start from.
He gave me a long cold hard stare that left me with the distinct impression that had he not been trapped inside a car then I would have sustained injury by now.
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Someone once said of Columbus that he was actually pretty useless as an explorer. When he set off, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there, he didn't know where he was, and when he got back, he didn't know where he'd been.
Just like my mum, really.
O
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And like my mum left a trail of carnage behind him.
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A watched traffic light never changes...
Splodgeface
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He/she who hesitates, likely to end up with a shunt in the rear.
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He that runs infront of cars gets tired and he who runs behind cars gets exhausted...
Shh, no groaning it's a serious post
Kev
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Someone once said of Columbus that he was actually pretty useless as an explorer. When he set off, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there, he didn't know where he was, and when he got back, he didn't know where he'd been.
In the same vein Churchill said of Lord North.
When he got to his feet he didn't know what he was going to say. While he was speaking he didn't know what he was saying and when he sat down he didn't know what he had said!
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Anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac.
Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.
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"A woman needs a man like a Londoner needs a 4x4"? Couldn't resist, with apologies to Germaine Greer...
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"A woman needs a man like a
be careful, or the moderators will send a fish on a bicycle to reprimand you ;-)
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be careful, or the moderators will send a fish on a bicycle to reprimand you ;-)
No we will not. No bloomin' fish is getting its grubby, er, fins on my bicycle.
No Dosh
Backroom Moderator
mailto:moderators@honestjohn.co.uk
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No we will not. No bloomin' fish is getting its grubby, er, fins on my bicycle.
spoilsport ;-)
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Is the sign of the fish on the boot of a car also the sign of complete motoring incompetence?
Also,the arm hanging from the drivers window is the international sign for "I do not have air conditioning".
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"Is the sign of the fish on the boot of a car also the sign of complete motoring incompetence?"
No it means the driver is in the hands of a higher power and as such, doesn't need to drive with as much care.
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OK, how about:
No matter how fast you travel the road of life, there is always a white transit waiting to overtake you.
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