Very awkward siuation the other day. Had a lift in a car with girlfriend's sister's fiancé and was appalled at his standard of driving. Hogging the right hand lane with no other traffic about, little indication, tailgating, driving at up to an indicated 120mph, you name it he did it! How can you politely tell somebody their driving is so bad when they are kind enough to be giving you a lift?
|
|
If it was that bad, I think I'd go for asking if you can get out and walk.
|
|
|
Dead simple, tell him outright. It's your life he's risking and no-one's going to say at your funeral "he did the right thing, keeping his trap shut like that"
If you need a little white lie, tell him you suffer from violent car-sickness. Rubbing your thighs nervously whilst doing this and swallowing hard should do the trick.
|
|
|
at 120mph, he's not going to keep his license for too long, so that might solve the problem
|
I had a similar experience a month ago, I was driven to Manchester (from Cambridge) by a junior member of my team at work. There was quite a lot of snow about, and it was settling. The outside lane was covered in snow, but he chose to drive on it at speeds of up to 100mph. He also tailgated everything, even in these conditions.
I pulled him up about it, his response was "I have never had an accident".
My first response was that maybe it was time he did, he might realise just how fast even 30mph can feel when you have locked up/lost control of your car/driven into a tree.
He slowed down and backed off after I spoke to him, but within 10 minutes he was doing it again. I will not accept a lift from him again. The funny thing is, he is a mild mannered, teetotal sunday school teacher!
If I had to say why he drove like this, I would guess that he has only ever driven modern cars with ABS, good soundproofing, good handling etc, and has been sucked into believing that he is safe and that his Merc will take care of him in a shunt.
|
JamZ
Tell him never to offer you a lift again and tell him why. Also tell girlfriend, girlfriend's sister and girlfriend's parents ? it might eventually sink into the driver's brain that he's an accident waiting to happen.
|
|
|
I doubt anything you say will make a difference. Driving as bad as this is self evident, so anyone lacking the self awareness to realise and modify their behaviour is highly unlikely to take much note of a third party.
Chances are that your only real course of action is to avoid travelling with the person again, although if offered a lift it might strike a chord if as you refuse you are able to make a tactful comment about how much you value life, or something similar.
|
|
Alan - agree. It is just possible that the whole mad driving episode was just for show. But more likely it was simply the way he is, and it's not likely to change until he learns from his own mistakes (like most others). All you can do is keep out of the way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think there is a time for politeness, and a time for bluntness.
Just tell him that he is driving like an idiot and demand that he slows down.
If he takes offence, tough. He is obviously a complete idiot anyway.
|
Unfortunately, as one psychiatrist put it,
"You can critisise anything you like about a person except two things,
How good they are in bed and their driving"
I rest my case.
H
|
|
|
|
|
Speak now or forever hold your peace?
|
Reminds me of when I was a young lad and had to travel to head office with one of the senior chaps in the office - not the sharpest knife in the drawer if you know what I mean. It was only Almondsbury to Bridgwater but I had never been so frightened in my life - or since.
He drove up the slip road onto the M5 at about 45 mph and slid straight across to the middle lane without so much of a glance. The car was making a hell of a racket and after about half a mile there was a burning smell - it was the handbrake half on. Whilst he was looking down trying to work out how to get the handbrake off we veered across the nearside lane and ended up on the hard shoulder. When he finally composed himself again, guess what he did? Yep, at 55 mph he drove straight back over the the middle lane where he stayed for the rest of the trip.
There were four of us in the car and three of us spent the rest of the day trying to work out how to get the keys off him. In the end I just held out my hand and said; you drove down Geoff, must be my turn to drive back. He just handed them over.
|
This is *such* a difficult one. When someone is doing you a favour it is, I find, almost impossible to make any criticism. I can manage hints, but nothing more than that. As has been said above though, my attitude is a pretty stupid one if it is putting my life at risk!
I got a lift from my elderly father a couple of weeks ago, we were on the M25 and it was maybe the most teeming rain that I have ever seen. Whilst lecturing me about how stupid other drivers are in not taking conditions into account, and that limits are maximums not minimums, he was averaging about 75. I was terrified! I was hinting like hell, but it didn't work!
This coming weekend I have to accept another lift from him, and my kids will be on board too. I am scared. I know most will say why the hell don't I drive myself, and that I sound ungrateful, but a few here might remember my absolute aversion to driving on motorways.
I guess by accepting the lift I am accepting the consequences too. And I think I'd better start saving for that motorway driving course!
HF
|
|
I recall an incident, not quite in this league, but similarly frightening with hindsight. Brother-in-law had just inherited a 1972 Maxi from his father, and sis-in-law was amusing us and the kids by zooming down the hilly roads towards Aberdeen harbour in it, stopping in time at the bottom of course. When we got home I thought I would give the car a check-over - both clutch and brake fluid reservoirs were almost empty. I don't know whether they learnt much from that, but I did.
|
I think people owe it to themselves, to their lousy chauffeurs and to any others that might have to endure being driven dangerously to point out what's wrong.
People are pretty much totally convinced of the adequacy of their own driving standards, however, so any advice or intervention is unlikely to change someone's habits in the longer term. But it just MIGHT make them think, especially if someone else has said the same before.
I wouldn't hesitate to say if I were frightened by someone's driving, and nor would I hesitate to say "Stop and let me out. I'll make my own way." I'd rather experience great inconvenience than seriously risk injury - or worse.
|
|
|
|
