Sent from my sister in Qatar:
Fifteen New Regulations in the GCC States
Registry of Motor Vehicle's 2004 Handbook
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident GCC driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork . With no insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your
leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling..
12. It is tradition to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every GCC driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In the GCC , 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.
16. Keeping to the center of the road while rounding a curve will prevent you from over-steering and possibly leaving the roadway.
17. Keeping your cell phone up to your right ear while driving will enable you to "flip the bird" with your left finger so it is more easily visible.
Thank You,
The Ministry of Motor Vehicles and Transportation.
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Fifteen New Regulations in the GCC States Registry of Motor Vehicle's 2004 Handbook
[snip]12. It is tradition to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
I fear that this may misrepresent the true legal situation. I thought that an always-on horn was part of vehicle regulations, rather than being the drivers' responsibility.
I dunno whether the GCC states follow the rulke that I belive applies in Saudi Arabia, banning women from driving, but from what I've seen of the roads there that's one bit of discrimination which I would happily accept!
Claire
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12. It is tradition to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
I recall the London journalist who spent some time in the north and commented that life seemd to be at a slower pace ... at traffic lights drivers seemed to wait for just the right shade of green.
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1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident GCC driver avoids using them.
Seem to remember in Jakatar that this was very much true unless you were going straight ahead at a cross roads when you put your hazard lights on (makes perfect sense :-})
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LOL, GCC States drivers are mere pussies compared to Filipino machismo...
* Get a flat in the fast lane? No worries, turf out the family of 14 while you fix it there and then. No need for lights at night or cluttering up the hard shoulder. Tight there in the outer lane is fine. Have 5 year old Junior stand behind your vehicle waving a plastic bag or something at oncoming traffic travelling towards you at 120kph just to let them know you're there.
* All lanes of your side of the road blocked? No problem, just all counterflow on the other side of the road. Saves time.
* Too busy to take your driving test? Not an issue. See Juan de la Cruz and he'll take it for you. Too busy even to find him? She's apples, call his cellphone and give him your Visa number. He'll get someone to take your drug test and find a photo that looks a bit like you.
* Parking hard to find? Don't worry, just stop wherever you need to. Middle of the road is OK if you're only going to be 10 mins in McDonalds.
* Signals lights are for reference only.
* YOu are only responsible for the front of your vehicle. Anything happening at the sides of behind is their proble,.
* 3 sets of white lines denotes at least 6 lanes of traffic, may be more.
* If you have a gun, the entire road is yours.
* If you a Congressman's son and Daddy bought you the Beemer then everyone else is responsible for any problem that befalls you on the road. In areas where this may hard to communicate, a Glock 9mm in the glove compartment can motivate the other party to reach an understanding in your favour.
* Traffic police get paid so little they naturally depend on your kindness to survive. Thus they show extreme creativity in making up offences which will encourage you to be charitable. Especially on Friday nights.
* If you are a foreigner all traffic fines will cost at least 5 times what a local pays and by some strange law of nature this will always be a multiple of the present exchange rate of the Peso vs the Dollar. Make sure you don't drive in sleeveless shirt and sandals -- it's an offence. Having your 8 year old sitting on your lap steering the car is OK, though.
* Bus drivers (and this is true) are encouraging to ensure any victims of a traffic accident they are involved in are dead. It is cheaper for the company to pay funeral expenses than indeterminate amounts of hospital costs.
* Chevrolet Suburbans/Ford Excursions with blacked out windows travelling in convoy are possibly full of politicians, big shot Chinese businessmen, drug dealers or carnappers, a deposed President, or God, or all of the above, and are exempt from license plates, traffic laws and any other tedious restrictions.
Do not enter into an altercation with any of these unless you wish to court an abrupt change of circumstances which may involve concrete boots and the Pasig River,
...but I can still use my cellphone and enjoy a cold can of beer in my cup-holder which I buy at the local Shell station, without fear of apprehension by some make-work little prodnose, so life on the road isn't all bad.....
....Growler out.
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"..OK if you're only going to be 10 mins in McDonalds"
Happens here, too. Baseball-cap wearing wazzock (I surmise) parked White Mitsubishi Evo outside newagents here tonight, holding up buses (in oncoming bus lane) and following traffic for several minutes. Where's the ANPR camera when you want it?
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"17. Keeping your cell phone.."
How many was it?
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