Many thanks ORB.

I contacted DD this morning about a problem involving my partners family and received a reply this afternoon.

Cheers

Best course of events (in retrospect), would have been to grab said ratchet first and smacked your BIL round his earhole with it.

Can't abide thieves (petty or otherwise), scum of the earth.

i feel like its my fault and i should have been more firm with my BIL.

Makes me feel angry/bad too. I can imagine that tool was very special to the poor lad.

You could always try to trace the buyer and appeal to his better side, obviously would need to offer him a bit more than he paid.

You might even consider reporting it to ebay or wherever it was sold as stolen goods

Depends on how it might affect relations. If it were me would also shame him by relating the story to friends and family.

Good on you that you tried your best and made a generous gesture.Pester your BIL to cover your costs.

i feel like its my fault and i should have been more firm with my BIL.

Given what your BiL has already done, I reckon it's quite likely he's kept it for himself and the tale about selling it on is an invention. This event may have caused a family rift, but if the pair of them behave like that, perhaps no great loss.

My concern would be with the morals of a wife who sides with a heartless criminal. If she was happy to deceive you about this, what else might she be up to behind your back?

I speak from experience of a deceitful (now ex) wife.

Reminds me I have a high quality cross-head screwdriver I found on top of our wall-mounted central heating boiler. It must have been left by the gas fitter who repaired the boiler several years previously. Neither me nor my wife could remember the name of the self-employed fitter so it's now in my toolbox!

I think the circumstance surrounding the tool and the apprentice are unfortunate. I would find it difficult to blame him not knowing the pressure he may have been under to finish the repair. We have all lost tools etc during our working lives and know how it feels when you reach for a tool that is missing.

My main worry is the behaviour of the BIL and the wife. An appalling way to behave in any event, let alone against a young apprentice. That young man may have benefited from having the tool returned by an honest customer and realised that some people are decent. Now of course he thinks that some are scum bags and he would be correct for the BIL and wife. The OP did a very kind thing, a bit over the top, but as already stated, better too kind than the opposite. A salutary lesson is life for all to think on.

Cheers Concrete

hi guys, just an update. i have spoken to my brother in law about all this again. he says that he sold it on my wifes facebook page so i should speak to her about getting in contact with the buyer and buying it back.

my wife on the other hand is saying she will end up getting in trouble for advertising stolen property on her facebook page and that i should stop trying to make the world a better place and just be 'normal'

i've accepted that i have to draw a line under this as ive hit the end of the road with this.

She deserves to get in trouble, I would never trust her again if I were you.

Pity some of your compassion has not rubbed off on those two. A lesson well learned. Sometimes you just have to accept that you have done all you can and accept the situation when there is no other recourse. Not even God can change the past so you just have to live with this one. Well done for trying. At least the apprentice gained some valuable tools, that is a real positive.

Cheers Concrete