This chap see's a friend in town that he hadn't seen since school & comments that he'd have known him anywhere. After the usual pleasantries, they are about to depart when our hero says, "well, I've got to arsk, what happened to your leg"? "Well, we's on oliday in aussie land & me dog went in a river & couldn't gerrout, so I went in to save it when a croc took me leg orf"
"Hell fire, that's tough, but I'd have still known you anywhere, anyway taaaaaake care, 'ang on, where's your hand gone"?
"Same b***** scenario following year, dog in river, me saving it, croc takes me bleedin' 'and orf"
"Hells bells you've had it rough, but I'd still have known you anywhere, er! is that a glass eye you've got, surely not a croc again"?
"No, a b***** seagull s*** in me eye & I'd only just 'ad me hook fitted.