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Sports potato! - SLO76
Sometimes a so-called sports car is in fact nothing like. Performance cars exist to gather headline praise and to bolster the image of the rest of the range. Usually it’s done well (Peugeot 405 Mi 16, 205 GTi, 306 GTi 6, Nissan Primera ZX, R21 Turbo, Focus/Fiesta ST, BMW M3/M5) but often in the past manufacturers have sadly put in too little effort. What are the least sporty sports cars you have owned or driven? Here are some I’ve experienced that served no purpose other than to look good in showrooms but were rightly panned by owners and critics alike.

Nissan Bluebird ZX Turbo - Utterly drab to drive. Numb steering, bouncy ride and felt nothing like the 135bhp it supposedly had. The cheaper 2.0i was a better car.

Nissan 300ZX Z31- A wobbling Blancmange of a car. Non turbo 3.0 auto wasn’t even fast but it really wasn’t something you wanted to hustle in anyway.

Ford Sierra XR4i 3dr - Appalling handling for a supposed top of the range sports model. High speed stability wasn’t too clever either. It was bouncy, floaty and didn’t even feel quick despite the 2.8 V6 lump.

Volvo 440 Turbo - Only had 13bhp more than the much cheaper by identical looking GLT. So low pressure it barely felt like it had a turbo but it had to be dialled down to prevent it eating the Renault gearbox. They were comfy and I admit to liking the 440 but sporty it wasn’t even in this top of the line model. Numb steering, clunky gearbox and rubbery handling. Not worth the money.

Volvo 480 Turbo - As above, not worth the money over the ES.

Audi 90/Coupe 20v - Hugely expensive things these and very very well made but Audi just couldn’t make the thing fun to drive. It was built like a tank and handled like one. Nice 5cyl warble but for the money 170bhp wasn’t enough.

Volvo 740 Turbo - Fast in a straight line but steered like the titanic and every bit of speed you’d built up was lost when you used that clunky gearbox.


Volvo 360 GLT - First attempt at a hot hatch for Volvo, an attempt to rival the Golf GTi and XR3. Cart springs at the back meant bouncy handling and woeful traction. Long throw clunky gear-change and numb steering sealed the deal. It was awful.

Rover 216 EFI Vitesse - I liked the SD3 Rovers but they were not sporty in any way shape or form. Lacked grip and traction and the engine was rough when extended. The Honda engined 213 was the far more sophisticated car for far less money.

Rover 820 Vitesse turbo - Another car I did like but they were softly sprung executive cars that had numb steering and leaned like the tower of Pisa in corners. Sporty it was not and the 2.0 petrol turbo sounded nothing like as sweet as the older 2.7 V6 Honda unit that preceded it.

MG Maestro 1.6 - Early model was a half hearted attempt to match the XR3 and Golf GTi. It was a miserable thing in every way. Badly made, unreliable and too slow. The later 2.0 injected and the MAF turbo models with the much better Montego interiors were actually quite good.

Mitsubishi 3000GT - I was horribly disappointed by my first shot in one of these. The huge steering wheel offered no feedback at all, it rolled surprisingly in corners and the driving position didn’t work for me. Too much electronic trickery from AWS to AWD and TCS, it all just numbed they driver from the road. A huge let down.

Ford Orion 1.6 EFi Ghia 1990-1992 - I loved the previous gen a Orion Ghia injection. It was never the greatest sports saloon but it was nippy and had a bit of character. Basically it was an XR3i with a boot, a touch of class and a lower insurance group. The next model was awful. Slow, noisy and bland. It was no top line sports model.

Mitsubishi Starion 2.6 Turbo - Looked cool but so very disappointing to drive. Early cars were frisky and fast with their quicker revving 2.0 177bhp turbo motor. Handling was typically Japanese of the time and a bit wooden but later cars were slower, using the Shoguns big slow revving 2.6 4cyl motor and had only 153bhp plus the steering was worse for the fatter tyres and wider track. The Nissan 200SX was a revelation by comparison.

Mitsubishi Galant 2.0 GTi - A good car but it was never sporty. Barely felt quicker than the much cheaper 2.0 GLSi and didn’t even look the part. Rolled in the corners just the same as every other model.

Peugeot 307 XSi - A huge disappointment after the fantastic 306 that preceded it. Worse in every way except crash safety and space. Utter rubbish.

Seat Ibiza 1.5 SXi - Horrid driving position, horrid gearbox, noisy engine that should’ve been great after Porsche had a hand in designing it and awful steering. Rolled like a 2CV too. It was a boat not a hot hatch. Later 1.7 model was as fast as you could go for the money but still awful.

Mitsubishi Shogun 3.5 V6 Evo - Special order only. Quick in a straight line but bounced around like any other ladder chassis off-roader of the time. Utterly pointless spoiler toting money pit thanks to its 18mpg economy.

Ford Fiesta RS Turbo - Rough as a badger. Almost everything was wrong with it except for the performance. It handled, rode and steered horribly like someone had employed a twelve year old to design a hot hatch. No fluid fun like you’d get in a fast Pug or Renault of the era. The cheaper XR2i was still poor but it was better than this.

Isuzu Piazza - Supposedly high tech sports coupe with gutsy turbocharged motor and loads of toys but underneath it was based on the old T series GM platform or the Chevette as we knew it. Live rear axle and poorly sorted suspension combined with lag prone turbo power are not a good combination. The UK importer went bust shortly after. Later Lotus tweaked cars were much better but too little too late.

Fiat Punto HGT 1.8 - Top heavy family shopping trolley. The only fun to be had was from early turbocharged 1.4 versions and their mad power delivery. The bigger engine model was dull and no one bought them.

Toyota Corolla 190 - Looked like your nans shopping wagon. Went well enough and was brilliantly made but it felt and looked little different from a basic 1.4 3dr.

Vauxhall Cavalier 1.6 SR - A spoiler carrying rep mobile that was as slow as a week in the jail. 90bhp and 102mph were fine in a 1.6L but not in a supposed top of the range spirts saloon. GM should’ve waited til the 1800 injection was ready before launching this. Early cars had a habit of eating camshafts which didn’t help its image boosting brief.














Sports potato! - elekie&a/c doctor
Porsche 924 . Powered by an engine lifted from a VW Lt van . Well at least it did have pop up headlights.
Sports potato! - glidermania

Who cares? I loved my 2012 E89 Z4 convertible.Was the best car I ever owned because it always put a smile on my face when driving even if only going to work and back.

Sports potato! - SLO76

Who cares? I loved my 2012 E89 Z4 convertible.Was the best car I ever owned because it always put a smile on my face when driving even if only going to work and back.

The Z4 looked terrible but did drive well, sadly it was made from old egg boxes, the quality and reliability were poor. Thus the reason why you see so few Mk I Z4’s around. The earlier Z3 had the opposite issue. It was well made and pretty but awful to drive.
Sports potato! - SLO76
Porsche 924 . Powered by an engine lifted from a VW Lt van . Well at least it did have pop up headlights.

Yeah, somewhat disappointing when a Mk I Golf GTi tore you up from the lights despite costing half the price. Later Porsche engined 924S did lift it but took the price too close to the 944. To be fair to the car was a joint effort with VW and was meant to be sold as a bottom of the range Porsche and a top of the range VW. Things changed and VW went for the cheaper, more basic Golf based Scirocco.

Edited by SLO76 on 02/05/2020 at 00:47

Sports potato! - badbusdriver

Well the first thing i am going to do here is defend the Porsche 924!.

No, 125bhp is not a lot, but remember we are talking about 1975 here. For comparison other sports cars of the time include the original Mazda RX7 (105bhp), MG BGT (90bhp), Ford Capri MK2 2.0 (100bhp), Toyota Celica 2000 (105bhp), E21 BMW 320 (120bhp). So the power output, while not exceptional, was above average for its day. Also, the old "its got an engine from a VW LT van" line. Yes, this is true, but that same engine was also used in, amongst others, the 2nd generation Audi 100, a car which had to go up against BMW and Mercedes competition. As for the comparison with a MK1 Golf GTI, yes, the Golf is quicker to 60 by about half a second due to a better power to weight ratio. But on a twisty road?, the 924's front engine-rear transaxle layout gives it near perfect 50:50 weight distribution, so very doubtful the GTI would keep up. Also, the 924's exceptionally slippery shape gives it a top speed 14mph higher, which would make it a far superior prospect on the Autobahn!.

While VW is in mind, i will nominate the MK4 Golf GTI 2.0. It is fairly widely agreed that while the MK4 Golf set new standards for interior quality, it is also agreed that dynamically they were the low point for the Golf. The GTI first came out with a n/a version of the 1.8 20V engine which developed an OK 125bhp. But VW decided in their wisdom that the engine was too peaky and replaced it with a 2.0 8v engine (which i believe is a derivative of the one used in the Porsche 924, but not 100% sure) developing a lowly 115bhp which dropped the 0-60 time to 10 seconds. I worked at a VW dealer during this time, and it is telling to me that when these cars turned up on the transporter, they were simply badged 'Golf 2.0'. We had to remove '2.0' and put on 'GTI' instead!. This lack of oomph along with the poor dynamics meant that it was certainly no hot hatch!.

Alfa Romeo Arna. Hmm, lets take a Nissan Cherry, remove the running gear and replace it with that of an Alfasud instead, what's not to like?!. I think there was also a Nissan badged version with the Alfa running gear, the Cherry Europe(?). And while we are looking at this car, how about the Nissan Cherry turbo?. Quite ironic given the Alfa Romeo connection and Alfa's sporting heritage, that the most powerful version of this car was badged Nissan turbo!. With a half decent 115bhp from its 1.5 turbo engine, it was quite fast in a straight line, but i don't think they handled all that well, and as for the looks........!

Slightly off script here, but i am also going to mention the Ford Gran Torino (Starsky and Hutch). I remember when David Soul was on Top Gear, they were discussing Starsky and Hutch and David was going on about how awful the car drove!. Not sure if this was a generic thing with the Gran Torino, or because of its 'stance' (nose down, tail up) along with having much wider rear tyres than front. But according to 'Hutch', the 'beat up' motors he ran in the show, invariably all went better than the Gran Torino!.

Sports potato! - SLO76
Biggest issue with the 924 isn’t so much that it was a bad car, it wasn’t. It was very well made and lasted far better than anything else of the era. The problem was that it was expensive and carrying a Porsche badge expectations were justly high, a level the 2.0 couldn’t meet. The later 2.5 could but it was dated by that stage and too close to the glorious 944 in price.
Sports potato! - Trilogy.

MK3 and 4 Golfs were the worst ever made. I had two MK1 - both GTI, and 2 MK2v - both 1.6 GL. Not had another Golf since. Always fancied a 924S, still doubt I'll ever own one.

Sports potato! - groaver

I had to look up that generation of 300ZX.

Phew! The one that followed it was stunning. It had such good looks. Menacing yet elegant too. A high point in Nissan's design language. The interior was great for the era too.

I still lust after a black one though have never driven the model.

Anyone ever driven one?

Sports potato! - SLO76

I had to look up that generation of 300ZX.

Phew! The one that followed it was stunning. It had such good looks. Menacing yet elegant too. A high point in Nissan's design language. The interior was great for the era too.

I still lust after a black one though have never driven the model.

Anyone ever driven one?

Sadly never had the pleasure. Nissan produced some great cars at the time, from Primera to 300ZX Twin Turbo through 200SX they were all great, even the rather bland Sunny from 1991. Shame it all went pear shaped afterwards. I’d love a Primera ZX or a 200SX Mk II 2.0.

Edited by SLO76 on 02/05/2020 at 17:10

Sports potato! - John F

A 'sports car' is designed to be just for fun, for the driver and perhaps one other tolerant person as cars are wide enough for two seats abreast. Practicality comes right at the bottom of the list of desirables. So anything with four doors, four seats or a solid irremovable roof is not really a sports car, although it might be labelled a 'sports saloon' by the manufacturer. Power and top speed are irrelevant. An MG Midget is a sports car, a Jaguar XF is not.

Sports potato! - badbusdriver

A 'sports car' is designed to be just for fun, for the driver and perhaps one other tolerant person as cars are wide enough for two seats abreast. Practicality comes right at the bottom of the list of desirables. So anything with four doors, four seats or a solid irremovable roof is not really a sports car, although it might be labelled a 'sports saloon' by the manufacturer. Power and top speed are irrelevant. An MG Midget is a sports car, a Jaguar XF is not.

That may well be the case if you agree with those very specific criteria as being the defination of what a 'sports car' is.

Going by that criteria, not only is an MG midget a sports car, but also a Meyers Manx beach buggy, in fact the buggy would be more of a sports car seeing as it doesn't even have doors, thus making it even less practical. Plenty contenders for what was the earliest sports car did have had 4 seats, such as the 1914 25hp Vauxhall 'Prince Henry' Sports Torpedo, probably (but not definitely) the first time the word 'sports' was used in the name of a car. And while pretty much all of those early contenders were open top, that was only because back then, hardly any cars had a roof anyway.

But it is, in reality, a pretty meaningless term, like SUV or crossover. So saying one car is a sports saloon rather than a sports car is absurd, given a saloon is a type of car. You might as well say the Midget is a sports roadster or sports convertible rather than a sports car.

Sports potato! - Trilogy.

Or could be 3 abreast. The Matra Murena and Bagheera. Given they were French, quite clearly designed for the man who had a wife and......................a mistress.

Sports potato! - badbusdriver

Or could be 3 abreast. The Matra Murena and Bagheera. Given they were French, quite clearly designed for the man who had a wife and......................a mistress.

Quite so, lovely things they are too!.

But another discrepancy in John’s theory of what a sports car is would be the Porsche Boxter vs the Cayman. Essential the same cars, but the Cayman, being a hardtop, isn’t a sports car whereas the Boxter is?.

Sports potato! - Avant

Years ago a friend had a Citroen Dyane whch had recessed interior door handles whuchwere hard to find in the dark. He said 'French cars are designed for Frenchwomen not to be able to get out of'.

I think 'sports car' is one of those expressions that means what you want it to. For John it has to be open-top: fair enough, and that's what I have always tended to think: the same car with a fixed head is to me a coupe.

But I have to admit that, say, a Jaguar F-type (or an E-type, come to that) even with a fixed head is a lot more sporting than the BMW Z3 I used to have. It was a straight-six and I loved driving it, but it was more grand tourer than out-and-out sports car, despite being a convertible.

Sports potato! - badbusdriver

I think 'sports car' is one of those expressions that means what you want it to.

Yes Avant exactly right, it isn't much different to what makes a car 'cool'. It depends on how the term is percieced, which in turn is just too much of a grey area to be defined.

For John it has to be open-top: fair enough, and that's what I have always tended to think: the same car with a fixed head is to me a coupe.

But the fundamental flaw with this notion is that what a particular car is, in essence, and what kind of body it has, are two seperate things. What defines a sports car should only ever be determined by how it drives and how it makes you feel. The problem with the above statement is that, just as a coupe is a body style, so is a convertible, or roadster. Which only determines how the car is packaged and how it looks, not how it drives or makes you feel. If in the above example, the fixed head version is a coupe, then the open top version is a convertible or roadster. So both can be a sports car, or if they don't have that essential element, neither are.

Sports potato! - Engineer Andy
Porsche 924 . Powered by an engine lifted from a VW Lt van . Well at least it did have pop up headlights.

You beat me to the punch! I remember that when I was featured on Top Gear with the Three Amingos going on one of their 'challenge trips':

youtu.be/_jPaYnaKVDk

It certainly brought a smile in the current dark times!

Edited by Engineer Andy on 03/05/2020 at 12:21

Sports potato! - gordonbennet

Going to defend the Corolla fast jobbies, both the NA and the much better supercharged version, if they had design faults its that they were not discreet enough.

I love sleepers, cars that look like the base version but hiding an engine of effortless urge, where only those in the know will have the slightest idea what the car is capable of, dislike intently badged and blinged up versions especially the modern trend of sticking multiple (usually fake) exhausts into the rear moulding to impress small boy minds in following cars.

Sports potato! - badbusdriver

I love sleepers, cars that look like the base version but hiding an engine of effortless urge, where only those in the know will have the slightest idea what the car is capable of, dislike intently badged and blinged up versions especially the modern trend of sticking multiple (usually fake) exhausts into the rear moulding to impress small boy minds in following cars.

Me too GB!. When i worked at a Saab dealer in the 90's, we had a 9000CD (the saloon version of the 9000 hatchback) 2.3 turbo demonstrator. It was in the most basic trim level with steel wheels and finished in an unassuming dark green metallic. Oh what fun i had with that car, blowing away various blatantly sporty looking machines, ranging from hot hatches to BMW 3 and 5 series!. There was very little available at the time (at any price) which could stay with a Saab 2.3 turbo on mid range acceleration. Wasn't the best handling car though (wasn't bad mind, just not that great), and it did struggle to put its prodigious torque through its relatively narrow front tyres, especially in the wet!.

I also remember a friend having a Proton Wira saloon. It was white, with the steel wheels and looked like a poverty spec 1.3. But it was actually a 1.8, the exact same engine fitted to the Satria GTI. 133bhp isn't considered much these days, but back then it wasn't too shabby (plus the Wira didn't weigh very much), and the effect was very much magnified by being in such an utterly drab looking machine!.

Sports potato! - barney100

Had one of those drive fast cars days bought a while age. Had a little Lotus....completely madly enjoyable. A fast Porche which flew but you didn't really know it so I thought that was quite dangerous, felt like 40 mph when the speedo said 80! the best was a bright red Ferrari, told to floor it when we made the straight and pushed you back in the seat as it shot forward. Everyone who likes driving should have at least one go.

Sports potato! - concrete

I really enjoyed my diesel car for giving a surprise to 'boy racers'. I used the A66 a lot. At that time it had a lot of single carriage interspersed with dual. Also it was very hilly and some steep ones too. The BMW, Audi etc petrol fliers would tailgate along the single track ready to pounce at the dual section. I used to get the revs just right and floor it at the dual uphill sections and leave them in my dust. The look on some of the faces as Skoda Superb blew them away was priceless. I would then slow down to a cruising 70ish and they would eventually race past having built up some revs. Some would give a sideways look other wouldn't. I think diesel to them meant very slow, when with some skill and knowledge of your cars engine the performance with the turbo at the right rev range was stunning, especially uphill.

Cheers Concrete

Sports potato! - 72 dudes

I really enjoyed my diesel car for giving a surprise to 'boy racers'. I used the A66 a lot. At that time it had a lot of single carriage interspersed with dual. Also it was very hilly and some steep ones too. The BMW, Audi etc petrol fliers would tailgate along the single track ready to pounce at the dual section. I used to get the revs just right and floor it at the dual uphill sections and leave them in my dust. The look on some of the faces as Skoda Superb blew them away was priceless. I would then slow down to a cruising 70ish and they would eventually race past having built up some revs. Some would give a sideways look other wouldn't. I think diesel to them meant very slow, when with some skill and knowledge of your cars engine the performance with the turbo at the right rev range was stunning, especially uphill.

Cheers Concrete

Concrete, you've just reminded me of an incident when I had my Peugeot 405 TD and I was out from HO with a rep for the day in the Midlands.

He was behind me in his standard issue Escort 1.6i Mk5, we were heading west on the A14 near Kettering. There's a longish hill, not particularly steep, but quite a gradient. The Pug sailed up at 80 in top gear with me barely trying while the Escort got smaller in my mirrors. When we stopped, the rep expressed his surprise at how the slow old diesel had left him standing.

Sports potato! - concrete

Nice one 72. It did bring a smile to my face when I think of all those who got the shock of their lives when I left them for dead. Priceless. I had a lovely Pug 406 GLX diesel which was excellent but the 1.9 PD Tdi 130 VAG diesel engine was a real humdinger!!

Cheers Concrete