Only ever had one car serviced by anyone other than me, that was the Hilux we bought new.
On the 2nd (major) service the Toyota dealer recommended leaving the brake fluid flush due to the low mileage at the time, so i've only seen the opposite to upselling, they were also happy for me to supply my own bulk bought engine oil for services, since changed hands so will be interesting to see what happens if i take it in.
In my kerbside cowboy days i would let people know how much life (judging by their normal usage as i had regulars) was left in friction parts, so they could make the decision if it was debatable, nine times out of ten they told me to do as i saw fit.
A proper mechanic doesn't just measure friction material left, the pads have to come out and any drums off, to inspect the pads or shoes properly, so whilst there might be 4mm pad remaining you won't know how firmly it is still bonded, or if the pad is showing signs of cracking up on its surface, until its removed.
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