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Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - Stackman II

Yesterday I spent some time with my brother who was driving a Stelvio Quadrifolio.

I wanted to like it but, apart from the comical performance, was decidedly unimpressed.

Obviously I am a petrol head and am a big fan of Alfa Romeo in theory. However the car itself seemed pointless. I can understand having the Guilia with the monster engine but in an SUV, I just didn't get it.

We drove mostly on A roads, some country lanes and a bit of motorway and only once were we able to use the performance, with a quick squirt where the road from the New Forest became the M27, just to demonstrate the sound and fury. The rest of the time we sat in traffic queues, tailed behind caravans, followed incompetent drivers who wouldn't put their headlamps on full beam and so pottered along the A30 at 35mph or doddery pensioners in Suzuki Swifts. (Actually that was my Dad.)

At no time could we deploy 500 horsepower to make any better progress. All the while we were subjected to a marginal ride, cramped accommodation and 21mpg.

Subjectively the Honda CRV in which we drove to Geneva earlier this way was better in nearly every respect.

When maneuvering on anywhere near a tight lock the front tyres fought the tarmac and made very disconcerting thumps. Apparently all Stelvios do this but the Quadriflio is the worst offender with its large wheels and tyres.

The price of this car was around £75,000. On some of the Dorset roads we drove over I would have been going quicker in my 15 year old Saab as the ride was so harsh.

As I said, I wanted to like it but couldn't see that it was twice as good as the base 2.0 petrol model or half as good as any number of other £75,000 alternatives.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - badbusdriver

In fairness to the Stelvio, all of the above comments could be levelled at pretty much any 500+ bhp car, SUV or otherwise.

TBH, i do agree, the seemingly endless power wars of manufacturers these days is utterly pointless in pretty much every way. Even in Germany with the limited number of Autobahn sections still unrestricted, the traffic volume means that you will really struggle to make any more progress with 500bhp than you would with half that.

The utterly daft power outputs filtering down the ranks really hits home with the Mercedes AMG A45S. The USP of a hot hatch is, or at least was, the fact that they were so useable. How exectly is a 416bhp (£50k) hot hatch useable?.

When you get down to the nitty gritty, it is just about showing off or bragging rights, both by the manufacturers in question, and the buyers of these cars.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - craig-pd130

Even in Germany with the limited number of Autobahn sections still unrestricted, the traffic volume means that you will really struggle to make any more progress with 500bhp than you would with half that.

Russell Bulgin's excellent article about trying to max a Lotus Carlton on the autobahn sums that situation up perfectly, and that was 28 years ago: https://www.carmagazine.co.uk/features/car-culture/rain-stopped-play-lotus-carlton-vs-the-autobahn-car-archive-january-1991/

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - craig-pd130

I agree in general, in the UK these cars are simply overkill because of traffic volumes, speed cameras everywhere, Sunday drivers, the state of the roads, etc.

But they will always sell because some people like to buy cars that make a statement.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - Stackman II

Thing is, to my eye,it doesn't even make a statement. It looked like a slightly higher Giulietta.

Our trip on Saturday was to the football at Southampton and our car in white, apart from the quite attractive wheels didn't look anywhere near as imposing or special as any of the numerous SUVs in the players' car park by Land Rover or Porsche.

You would have to be quite the anorak to know the significance of the green cloverleaf badge on the front wing or the Q4 badge on the boot.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - craig-pd130

True. Having agreed with all the above, I would love to have a Dodge Challenger Hellcat. I know 707bhp is utterly pointless, but I'd put up with the internal conflict :-)

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - SLO76
All about image, from the gadgets to the fierce engine note and performance figures. It’s just bar room bragging. I agree personally that the much cheaper run of the mill models in any range are more often than not the sweet spot as the high output examples are usually too greedy and overly firm on the road.

I’ve driven plenty of higher end metal over the years and most are to me uncomfortable and pointless. The smoother riding, quieter running 6cyl Audi A8 2.8 or BMW 728i for example would sit happily at 130mph all day long so what’s the point in paying vastly more for the big V8’s other than to be able to have one up on someone else? It’s not deployable on the road other that a split second burst anyway.

I doubt I’d be able to bring myself to buy such a insane car as a high end Alfa even if money were of no issue. It’ll cost a crippling amount to lease and if bought that £75,000 will become £15,000 shockingly quick. It makes no financial sense what so ever but I have a friend who does waste money like this on daft cars. He has a good income but at age 43 if he sold up and paid up he’d have nothing while he could be living mortgage free and cash rich by now without the Porsche’s, high end Audi’s Focus RS and expensive Ducati bikes he’s had on PCP and lease over the years.

I’ll stick to buying used and after the first owner or keeper has taken the bulk of the depreciation out of it. I was out for a run in my 9yr old Toyota Avensis the other day and with minimal cost it drives and looks largely the same as it did when new. It’s comfortable, reliable, good on fuel, has loads of space, is decently refined and capable of sitting all day long at speeds in excess of 100mph yet it’s cost me probably £500 in the last year in depreciation and zero for repairs. You can keep your expensive PCP and lease deals.

Thankfully though we are not all the same otherwise no one would be buying the overpriced new cars and taking the hit to bring them down to a realistic price where ordinary folks should be buying them. Keep on forking our the big bucks for the rest of us old misers. That big Alfa will make a risky but interesting buy for someone in a few years time at £15k or less.

Edited by SLO76 on 11/11/2019 at 09:34

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - badbusdriver

Our trip on Saturday was to the football at Southampton and our car in white, apart from the quite attractive wheels didn't look anywhere near as imposing or special as any of the numerous SUVs in the players' car park by Land Rover or Porsche.

This is not neccessarily a bad thing, you use the words 'special' and 'imposing' like it was a good thing where i'd probably use 'vulgar' and 'ugly'. As it is an Alfa, it should look nice, but not in your face. Italy, after all, traditionaly, is the home of style!.

I have a customer who has a top end Range Rover SVR. Personally, I think it is an appalling afront to good taste, both the way it looks, and the noise it makes. It seems IMO, to be aimed at the 'man-child', or people who are desperate to attract attention to themselves.

I'm not really a fan of SUV's, and certainly not a fan of overly powerful cars, but if i had to choose a pointlessly powerful SUV, the Alfa would definitely be higher up the list that ANYTHING from Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche or Range Rover simply because they all look so awful.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - bazza

The word "SUV" covers so many types of vehicle these days from the comical, clown cars as we've been discussing, to the seriously impressive proper utility vehicle such as the Land cruiser, built strongly for a tough life. I consider all of LR range to be in the clown category, which is a shame, as the original is a true icon. The replacement doesn't bode well but will reserve judgement! The concept of a sports SUV makes no engineering sense at all, it's laughable but they certainly have appeal as boys& gals toys, my in laws love them and complain bitterly about the running costs! I much prefer and buy into SLOs view of the world, iv had fabulous value at the low end of the market. I'm constantly amazed at just how good the standard white goods car is these days, and spending more is the law of diminishing returns so far as transport in safety and comfort is concerned. I guess it's a bit like watches, a Casio for a fiver serves the same purpose as a Rolex but the Rolex gives the feel good factor ( I guess) if you need or want that.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - Terry W

There are no rational or objective arguments which can realistically be made to justify a car with 500+ bhp, 0-60 times of sub 5 secs, top speeds above 150mph.

SUV variants add weight, bulk, brick like aerodynamics and 4WD to the rationally pointless.

So the purchase decision is really emotional and self obsessed:

  • I like doing track days (in 2+ tons of metal?)
  • I have the skill to handle this beast (Red Bull wanted me for the F1 team)
  • On my 50 mile drive to work there are no speed limits
  • I have superior sexual prowess and dinensions (usually inverse!)
  • I've got more dosh than you (and less common sense)
  • Climate change isn't happening (what do scientist know)
  • I'm more important (daddy runs a merchant bank or sells drugs)
  • I'm smarter than you (I stole the money - work is for losers)
  • It matches my Rolex (and other obscenely costly branded goods)
Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - John F

There are no rational or objective arguments which can realistically be made to justify a car with 500+ bhp, 0-60 times of sub 5 secs, top speeds above 150mph.

Yes, there are. Admittedly my Audi sport quattro has only 444bhp, but the sheer pleasure I have had in driving a beautifully crafted powerful piece of engineering which was at the top of its game 15yrs ago far transcends that which I would have enjoyed had I spent the money (£12K nearly 6yrs ago) on a brand new VW Polo instead. Nothing to do with either 'making a statement' or the dimensions of my genitalia. You could have a similar argument about an expensive watch, or a house far bigger and more luxuriously appointed than one's needs.

Edited by John F on 11/11/2019 at 17:00

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - Ethan Edwards

Ok I understand that. But...Can you take it to Tesco's leave it in the car park and not be even slightly anxious? Would you be happy filling it with dirty smelly stuff and driving it to the local amenity tip? If so then good luck enjoy it. If not as I suspect that most would not be happy using a sixty grand car for those purposes then for me, it fails the most basic requirements that I need for a car. It doesn't meet my lifestyle and its actually more of a look at me attention getter than a practical vehicle. So sorry it's not for me. But do enjoy it yourself.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - John F

Ok I understand that. But...Can you take it to Tesco's leave it in the car park and not be even slightly anxious?

Yes. It's a functional machine, not an ornament or a work of art. (Although if you mounted the polished crankshaft and displayed it in a modern art museum I think it would draw as many admiring glances as anything by a contemporary abstract sculptor).

www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&...4

It has the odd blemish which worries me not a jot.

Would you be happy filling it with dirty smelly stuff and driving it to the local amenity tip?

Yes, but obviously I would put in on old sheets.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - S40 Man

This exact car was reviewsed on 5th gear episode 31/10/19 by JP and Karun Chandhok, vs Jaguar F pace SVR. For everyday driving they much preferred the Jag and only on the track where you can use some of that potential was it much fun. Like you say in the real world you can only use a small fraction of 500 hp, so it's all a bit pointless or at least largely unnecessary.

It's on Quest TV so may be available on catch up if you are interested.

Stelvio Quadrifolio - Not impressed. - badbusdriver

Having given it some thought, there are a couple of powerful SUV's i wouldn't mind,

GMC Typhoon (Clint Eastwood owned one, 'nuff said!)

Overfinch 570

Special mention for the silliest by far, but as a car mad teen, this one really fired up my imagination!;

Lamborghini LM002 (the "Rambo Lambo"). Not actually that far off the Alfa's power at 444bhp, but weighs around 50% more(!). And while the Alfa may supp the juice, it won't be a patch on the 7-8mpg average of the (6 weber carb equipped) 5.2 V12 Lambo, ouch!.

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Avant

I can only speak for myself - but if I were going to buy a powerful car and could afford it, the quality I'd be looking for is effortlessness.

Unless one's going to spend a lot of time on German autobahns, I'd have thought that six cylinders (maybe a V8), 3 litres and about 300 bhp would be quite enough. Like Stackman, I just can't see that the extra cost of a 500 bhp Alfa is worth it.

OK, if I could afford a Bentley at twice as much again, I wouldn't have the harsh ride and the cramped accommodation to complain about. But in terns of the actual job a car does, it wouldn't do it any better than a top-of-the-range Audi (not least because some of the parts are from the same source).

What a Bentley gives you is partly prestige and partly the knowledge that your car has been made by craftsmen rather than mass-produced. Fortunately for the British car industry, there are people who are prepared to pay for that privilege. They aren't wrong - it's just not my sort of logic.

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Stackman II

On reflection I think my main beef with the car is that it did not seem to be fit for any particular purpose.

As an SUV it was compromised by the harsh ride and not overly generous accommodation.

As a sports car it was compromised by the tall body.

As a £75,000 status symbol it lacked presence.

You wouldn't want to use it on a track day. You wouldn't want to tour the continent in it. It would be a waste to use it for the school run.

I do see the appeal of SUV's as a class, from Kias to Bentleys but to my mind there are so many better things on which to spend that sort of money.

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - thunderbird

On reflection I think my main beef with the car is that it did not seem to be fit for any particular purpose.

As an SUV it was compromised by the harsh ride and not overly generous accommodation.

As a sports car it was compromised by the tall body.

As a £75,000 status symbol it lacked presence.

Based of the above comments its sounds perfect for

the school run.

Its what every air head mother needs to drop her brats off on double yellows making sure they get out out off the car on the dangerous road side.

As long as it gets her to the nail bar it is surely perfect.

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Terry W

I understand the pleasure of using the well designed which performs with excellence.

Applies not just to expensive cars, but simpler things in life - eg: bone china rather than plastic cup, quality woodworking tools (my interest!), TV and sound, watches etc.

With unlimited moolah one could indulge every need. But most need to prioritise and compromise.

So I could buy a number of cars at the top of their particular market niche - a convertible, a motorway cruiser, an off road 4WD, an uncompromised track day performer, a shopping car, a go to the dump pick-up or van etc.

However I don't want the hassle of owning 6 or more cars. This is a somewhat academic point as I neither have the cash or space anyway.

I would like to buy just one, money no object (?). This means compromise.

My own take on this would be a luxury 4WD - a Range Rover with reliability (???). It won't be the best at everything, but most things it will do pretty well (convertible and track days excepted!)

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - badbusdriver

My own take on this would be a luxury 4WD - a Range Rover with reliability (???). It won't be the best at everything, but most things it will do pretty well (convertible and track days excepted!)

That would probably mean a Toyota Landcruiser 4.5 V8 turbo diesel then!

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - madf

This DT article appears very relevant.. The comments are both savage at times and funny..

.

Our new school run is packed with glamorous SUVs and supercars. What can I drive to save face?'

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/luxury/motoring/new-school-run-packed-glamorous-suvs-supercars-can-drive-save/

Edited by madf on 12/11/2019 at 16:27

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - madf

I would like to buy just one, money no object (?). This means compromise.

My own take on this would be a luxury 4WD - a Range Rover with reliability (???). It won't be the best at everything, but most things it will do pretty well (convertible and track days excepted!)

You need lots of space for parking when shopping... So utterly hopeless.

If you could afford a smaller car for shopping as well...

Of course, you might get the shopping delivered but Harrods does not deliver to Stoke On Trent I think,,,

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - drd63
Appreciate the Alfa might not be to everyone’s taste but really does everything have to be a practical decision? Live a little, cars should be an emotional choice and even though compromised in comparison to some other SUV’s the Stelvio is still very useable.
As for unnecessarily big/powerful engines, of course you don’t need so much power but it’s fun to have.
Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Brit_in_Germany

I was toying with getting a Giulia Quadrifoglio but practicallity one the day. The problem was that a carbon fibre strut in the rear meant the rear seats were not foldable so no chance of putting a bike in the back. In the end I plumped for the Veloce version with a mere 280 HP and am very happy with it.

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Stackman II

Brit_in_Germany, that is where we thought the sweet spot in the range would be.

Does your car chomp on its tyres when you maneuver at low speed on full lock?

Stelvio Quadrifoglio - Not impressed. - Brit_in_Germany

Only on summer tyres when it is getting a bit colder. Now with winter tyres on there is no problem. I understand that the crabbing is due to the 4WD, like with the Mercedes GLC.