I was taught the IAM IPSGA (Information, Position, Speed, Gear, Acceleration) technique which helps with gear changes. Basically as you apporoach a hazard such as a roundabout, asses it, get in the correct lane, adjust your speed, select the correct gear, and then when clear, accelerate.

Hold the gear lever gently with just thumb and two fingers, and move it delicately and slowly feeling it into the chosen gear.

You need to get a good grip of your knob. If the only points of contact are the thumb and two fingers, you're not in full control of the car. A hot sweaty paw could easily slide off the gear knob if it doesn't have a good grip.

OP, as queried by a previous poster you say in your post

this is also my first manual car I've ever driven

If that is correct and you have never driven a manual car you are clearly not entitled to drive one. To drive a manual car you must have a license for that car and that means passing your test in one. If you don't have a manual licence you are driving illegally and if caught will be charged with, I think "driving not in accordance with your licence", But if you are driving under supervision with "L" plates you will be OK and just need to take the test.

If you are driving illegally and have an accident you will find yourself uninsured and any damage to your own car will not be repaired (the other party will get theirs fixed). You will then find yourself in a load of grief getting insured again and probably loose your licence if the police are involved.

But mostly you don't need to wear the clutch and g/box out at all when slowing or stopping - just snick into neutral and coast to the lights. I shall of course be reprimanded by the usual suspects for this suggestion!

Coasting up to a junction/lights is not illegal but is advised against by all knowledgeable authorities.

• By being in neutral you have no engine braking and loosing that extra retardation could be the difference between a near miss and an accident.
• Should the need to accelerate occur you would be left searching for the correct gear and again this could be the difference between a near miss and an accident.
• Wear on the clutch can be ignored. Its slip on moving off and changing up that wears the plate not on a gentle downshift.
• Gearbox wear when its not under load is totally negligible.

As my instructor said in the early 70's, "loosing speed loose a gear".

the main idea is not to snatch across the gate - allow a moment for the gearbox to do what its synchromesh is designed to. It's not double-declutching, but two quick steps: into neutral, then into the next gear. You may need an hour or two to learn the feel of your gearbox.

I remember driving with a guy who tried to see how fast he could swipe from one gear to another. Didn't feel very comfortable to me. Some people call it mechanical sympathy.

The MX-5 owners' club forum regularly gets posts from people complaining of a "notchy gearbox" often in a new car. I suppose one or two might have a fault, but I suspect most of them just haven't got the feel of it. If they've come from a front drive car then then the lever-selector connection is also more communicative than cables and springs. Synchro's great, but not instantaneous. Use gentle pressure and it will insert its own pause. I'm sure some people just apply more force at that point.

Mechanical things are less intuitive perhaps for the games-controller generation:)