Having wasted several hours trying to find a better deal for my Gas & Electric I pondered what it would be like if we bought vehicle fuel in a similar way ..............

May I suggest we need more 'competition'in the domestic market for petrol and diesel fuel. With more electric vehicles coming on to the roads we also need to make vehicle energy consumption easier to understand for all consumers.

I therefore suggest that we adopt the practices of the electricity and gas utilities who have greatly improved their industry over the last thirty years and have provided us with an extremely competitive market for these products.

Firstly, we need to set up a Government Office (Offuel?) for the regulation of all vehicle fuel in the UK. They will liaise with industry and represent consumers interests to ensure that we have the keenest prices that the market can provide. The Office will also have powers to impose additional price 'levies' to ensure that 'Green' and other environmental issues are given the consideration they deserve. They will also help break up the 'big' fuel companies to encourage many more smaller companies to enter the 'market' and provide greater choice with a vast range of competitive tariffs.

The Office will also encourage consumers to regularly 'switch' suppliers using the various on-line web sites. However, the usual exit fees for early change of contract would apply to encourage customer loyalty.

This 'shake up' will entirely change how vehicle fuel is purchased and there will be many changes to the old fashioned established practices that may include the following:

Consumers will be required to be contracted to a particular company and will only be able to purchase fuel from their chosen company and their designated filling stations. This may be a little inconvenient but consumers will soon get used to the extra driving to find one of 'their' filling stations.

Consumers will no longer have the inconvenience of 'paying' at the filling station but will have their yearly consumption estimated (on the high side) and will pay by a calculated monthly direct debit only.

Whilst the fuel pumps may still have 'indicators' to monitor the delivery of fuel, the price will be shown in kilo Watt hours (kWh) that will be calculated from the actual volume, the temperature of delivery, the calorific value of the fuel (dependant on where it was refined) and a 'magic' conversion factor (to six decimal places - no less). Not unreasonably there will be a small 'standing charge' for use of the pump and the electricity used to pump the fuel that will be clearly billed.

It may also be prudent to charge variable rates for the volume (energy) delivered - for example the first 10 litres of fuel (or equivalent kWh) could cost £2.50 per litre and the next x litres cost a reduced cost of £1.20 per litre. This may be in place of the standing charge or in addition depending on the chosen tariff.

This will then allow consumers to easily compare the cost of traditional hydrocarbon fuels with electricity and or gas.

Before fueling the customer will be obliged to provide proof of their identity (e.g. passport), enter their vehicle registration number and current odometer reading. This will allow real time calculation of actual miles per gallon (MPG) and should the vehicle not meet current permissible performance/emissions it will be immediately immobilised and then crushed. The Office will then have instant access to national fuel consumption figures that will be used to calculate variable tax revenue based on consumer demand.

All this data will be made available on a multi-page 'paperless' monthly web bill which consumers will be able to query 'at non busy times' by phone, at their expense, when there is a mistake not of their making.

AND so On and so On and On until I fall onto my knees weeping tears into my empty fuel tank !