Have you considered a Subaru as you will then have the backup of 4WD.

Odd how you thought the Civic (outgoing model or the 'previous 2006 version?) rode badly - I thought the ride was a good feature, according to HJ's review. Maybe its ok on tarmac roads and not so good on really poorly surfaced country roads.

Might be worth the OP looking at cars similar to the iX35 but just 2WD versions, then at least (with the addition of winter tyres or CCs) with the better ground clearance and view of the (rural) roads, this might suit them, as long as they can find ones that blends the more 'rugged countrified' features with a decent ride and reasonable handling.

Perhaps the sibblings or cousins of the Leon might be more suitable, such as the new Ateca (same engine and interior, though it appears not on new versions - maybe the change to the 1.5TSi is imminent) or Skoda Yeti (1.2 or 1.4 [but that's only available in top spec 4x4). Note that HJ's review has knocked a star off the Yeti's review for poor reliability, which could affect the Ateca (in theory all MBQ platform cars from VAG firms).

Perhaps the Maxda CX-5 2ltr petrol SE-L Nav (run-out version [not the Sport with the low profile tyres], new one around the corner) might do, if a tad bigger (though no more than the iX35). The reviews say its has a good ride and like all Mazdas is good at handling. The engine should give 40mpg according to the 'Real mpg' page and is reasonably quick too, probably needing to be thrashed less than the 1.8p Civic as a result of the higher capacity, though probably not as nice as the 1.4 TSi 140/150 from VAG for mid-range pickup.

May be worth a look given the new CX-5 model is just around the corner - my local dealership had recently 6s and CX-5s with over £5k off the list price for showroom versions with tiny mileages. I wouldn't recommend the CX-3, not because its a poor car (I test drove one and it was very good - on normal roads), just that it may be a bit too small and too firm a ride on rural roads, especially farm tracks like the OP's. Its also VERY expensive, often not that much cheaper than the much bigger CX-5 after discounts are applied.

Not sure about the Pug and similar - haven't driven one - best to test drive them. HJ likes them, which is almost always a good indicator of a quality car.

Odd how you thought the Civic (outgoing model or the 'previous 2006 version?) rode badly - I thought the ride was a good feature

Before we test drove the 1st Civic back in early 2008 I had read reports that the ride was poor and it was best to avoid the ones with big wheels/rubber band tyres. So we went to the dealer, told him we wanted a test drive but did not want sporty model with Carlos Fandango wheels etc. Guess what, he sent us off in one with Carlos Fandango wheels, it shook our fillings loose. So off to another dealer who managed to give us a drive in one on 16" wheels but to be totally honest it was little better.

For your info we bought a BMW 118D. Despite reports saying it had a firm ride, with the 17" options and standard suspension it was perfectly acceptable, in 5 1/2 years we did not regret buying it at all. Way better than the Civic.

In 2010 when the wife was changing we looked at the Civic again since other than the ride the car still appeared to suit us. Well nothing had changed with the ride I can assure you. After a test drive getting back into our 5 year old Focus was like getting into a new comfortable car.

Why/how Honda got it so wrong i have no idea. We drove a 2005 Civic Type R when we were buying a few years earlier and the ride for such a focussed performance hatch was nothing short of amazing.

Thank you so much for the learned advice so far.

I had not considered the Vitara but will look at that - what I have found with the Hyundai has been borne out - it immediately felt much like a 90s Toyota when I got in it- "plasticky" interior but somehow felt like underneath it was well engineered. So maybe another Japanese/Korean vehicle would suit me well.

I also feel the tide is going gradually against diesel. Interestingly I had a look at some 308 prices on a well known car supermarket website and the 1.2 puretech petrol 130 is priced the same as a 1.6 HDi 120 for the same age of vehicle- so diesel (at least in some models) is no longer commanding a premium on the used market.