Sorry to say this, but you're looking to buy a 10-20 year old vehicle that was built to have a hard life (and do a lot of mileage), and as such most of them are pretty worn out now.
So reliability really is absolute random chance and pot luck. Remember that most of those being sold will be for sale because something needs doing, and that 'something' costs more money than the owner is willing to spend.
The 1.9 Tdi VAG engine is very good. One of the finest 'basic' diesel engines built in the last 30 years or so. But they all last better on regular oil/filter changes (regular means frequent, 10k or so, not the 'normal' 15-18k), and MUST have a cambelt/waterpump/roller change every 70k miles. You used to see lots of cars with this engine for sale at 135k, for example. An expensive job, (£300-£500), so one that's often missed out. If any of the bits that need changing fail (and they do, waterpumps and rollers were a bit notorious for it), then the engine is scrap.
As to buying an old, worn-out MPV, and then expecting it to be reliable, tow a 1.5 tonne caravan AND give good MPG, I think you're being rather optimistic.
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